The Hello Kitty Diaries
by stl85
Summary: Penny's super secret diary, starting as a kid and working our way up to Shenny. This is pretty much complete fluff, so if you are looking for total angst you might want to go elsewhere. Please see last chapter. *Discontinued*
1. Chapter 1

**Here is the blanket disclaimer for the entire story. **

**I do not own The Big Bang Theory, Nebraska, Hello Kitty, or my cat. My cat owns me, that psycho bitch. None of this is mine, I just enjoying playing in other people's minds every now and then.**

_My name is Penelope and I am 11 years old. I am supposed to write in you because Granny died. I guess I didn't handle that very well because mom and dad sent me to a shrink. And the shrink thinks that I will handle my feelings better if I write in you. This is stupid. Mom and dad are stupid. My shrink is stupid. Everyone but Granny is stupid! STUPID STUPID STUPID! Why can't they just leave me alone? I don't want to keep coming to a shrink. I don't want mom to cry anymore. I don't want dad to get angry anymore when he sees Granny's blanket. I don't want Granny to be dead anymore. I want everything to be back to the way that it was. _

_Granny was my favorite person in the world. She made me cookies and let me play in her barn out back. She was an actress before she got married. She used to say that she left the stage for a kitchen and a house full of kids. Why would anyone want to be a mom? She had everything and trashed it for some boy. Even if that boy was Gramp-gramp, I still think it wasn't a good idea. Boys are gross. I'm never gonna get married. _

* * *

Penny had been sitting quietly while her therapist read her journal entry. It was taking forever. She didn't have to write everything down when Granny was alive. That's because Granny would actually listen to her. She was the only person in the world who understood her. When Granny died Penny refused to leave her house. She climbed up into her grandmother's huge four poster bed and laid there, surrounded by the smell of the only person she could say that she truly loved. Her grandmother always smelled like soap and nature. It was what Penny had started to associate with the feeling of comfort and home. She threw the biggest fit she had ever made in her life when her mother washed her grandmother's favorite blanket. It still smelled like soap, but it was the wrong soap, and it didn't smell right anymore. When Penny didn't finish grieving fast enough for her parents, off to the therapist she went.

"Penelope, did you like writing in your journal?" Was he kidding her? It was like extra homework.

"My name is Penny. Only Granny gets to call me Penelope." She shot daggers at the man across from her.

"Penny, did it help you at all?"

"A little bit." Penny admitted reluctantly.

"Why did you draw Hello Kitty all over the inside?"

"Because I did." Penny snapped, looking away. She knew that the silence in the room would continue until she answered him. He learned very early on that Penny didn't like talking about herself. The only thing she liked less was silence. "Granny gave me a Hello Kitty doll before she died. I like them now. Is that ok, or is a Japanese cat off limits for me too?" Thankfully for Penny (or her therapist) it was the end of their session. Penny jumped off of the sofa to leave. Thank the angels that was over. She was tired of it. She was tired of feeling broken and lost. All she wanted was someone who loved her like Granny. Was that too much to ask?

She headed to her dad's pickup and climbed in.

"How'd it go Slugger?" He asked carefully.

"The same way it always goes. We sit, he makes me talk about stuff that I _don't_ want to talk about, the alarm beeps, I leave." Penny gave her dad a sideways glance, "Daddy, how much longer do I have to go?"

"Until everything is ok again."

"Daddy, Granny is dead. _Dead_. A shrink can't make her come back. I promise I won't freak out. I swear! I'll do whatever you want me to do. Just _please _don't make me go anymore?" She pleaded.

Her dad looked over at her when they hit a red light. She really was pulling out all the stops. Her lower lip was pulled out so far it almost covered her whole chin. She was playing with her short blond hair, twirling it almost absentmindedly. She gave him the biggest doe eyes she could pull off. Her dad sighed as the light turned green. "I'll talk to your mother." Penny laughed and reached over to give him the tightest hug she could while in a truck.

**A/N: Yep, we are starting with Penny as a kid. It won't last for long though because there is no Sheldon in Nebraska and I refuse to force Penny to live in a world where she doesn't get to at least make out with Dr. Sheldon Cooper! I am also looking for a Beta. I have problems catching all my grammar and spelling has NEVER been my strong suit.**


	2. Chapter 2

_My brother is a gigantic ass-hat! He KNEW how important this one was to me. I made him promise to behave. All I wanted was my parents to focus on ME for a change. Just me. I wanted my whole family there to see me win, I didn't think that was too much to ask for is all. Instead he had to go and be a gigantic ass-hat! _

_Ever since Katie moved out with that guy, everything has changed. Mama cries about Katie, daddy yells at Jerry, and no body cares about me. Sometimes I think that I've turned invisible. _

_I worked SO hard at this! For months! All I wanted was daddy and Mama to see. They would be so proud of me! Didn't matter I guess. Katie was sick, she kept throwing up and stuff, so Mama went over to see her and couldn't come. Even when Katie moves out she still ruins everything! Mama didn't seem worried that Katie was sick though. She just kept laughing and saying that it was her own fault. How is it your fault you get sick? Mama never says it's may fault when I get sick. _

_I won though! First place and everything. I got a trophy and $100. I've never seen that much money in my life! Mama made me put half of it in the bank, but I get to play with the rest of it! I'm gonna get some new clothes, or maybe some new sneakers. One thing is for sure though, I'm gonna hide it from Jerry. My brother can't be trusted._

* * *

It was the perfect throw. The rope looped around the calf and brought it down almost effortlessly. Penny turned to the judges and smiled. She knew it was perfect. She had been practicing for months. Trying to get the right length, the right sized loop, the right flick of her wrist to make it obey her.

Penny left the arena and started looking for her parents. They would be so proud of her, she just knew it. She was definitely in the running for a trophy, maybe even first place! Penny's bright smile turned into a frown, she couldn't find her parents. Since she just completed her last category she headed out to find them.

Penny started wondering around, trying to find out where her parents got off to. Maybe they were planning some sort of surprise for her! She needed new buckles for her saddle, or maybe they would get her new cowboy boots. The one's that she had were starting to wear and weren't that pretty anymore.

She heard her dad before she saw them. They were yelling at Jerry again. So, no present then. He promised to behave tonight! He even pinky swore! Did that mean nothing these days?

"I just can't believe you Jerry! What has gotten into you? You used to be such a good boy and ever since you started hanging out with those kids all you do is skip school and get bailed out of jail! You better shape up or we will ship you out! I'm tired of this boy." Her dad was yelling. Great. Whenever he got mad it tended to flow over to her.

Before she lost her courage, she walked up to them. "Did you see me daddy?" Even if Jerry didn't deserve it she would deflect some of her dad's anger. Siblings before parents: it was her motto.

"Sorry Slugger, no I didn't. And you can thank your brother for that! He decided that right now was a great time to try to hot wire a car!" Her dad turned back to Jerry. "Don't think that this conversation is over young man. And you are staying by my side for the rest of the night."

So, no present then. Her parents didn't even see her! And for once she was textbook perfect too. Jerry had to ruin everything. Penny never got any attention because if Jerry wasn't screwing up, her sister was getting knocked up. Penny wasn't quite sure what that meant, but she heard her mom say it a lot lately.

* * *

Later, as Penny was receiving her first place trophy, she looked out into the crowd to find her family. There were no where to be found. She still put on a huge smile, this was going to be in the paper after all, and thanked everyone she could think of for supporting her.

Once she got home, she asked her dad why they weren't there. The answer was surprisingly simple. "Jerry needed to go to the bathroom. That kid is in a bad place right now Slugger, I need to keep an extra close eye on him right now. But I am proud of you baby girl." She gave him a smile and a hug before practically running away.

Once upstairs, safely tucked away in her room, she began to think. Anyone who knew her could tell you that was dangerous. Penny wondered why her brother and sister got all the attention. They did bad things all the time. They lied, they stole, broke curfew... Penny was good. She got straight A's for the second year in a row and always kept her room clean. She did her chores and helped out around the farm without being asked. The more she thought about it the more she realized that being good may be the right thing to do...but _not_ being good gives you attention.

Absentmindedly, Penny began to draw little Hello Kitties over her diary. Maybe she was going about this wrong. Maybe she should stop trying to be perfect. Granny would be disappointed that she didn't try her best, but Granny had been gone to two years. She was the only one who really cared about her anyway.

**A/N: That actually did happen to me. Not at a Jr. Rodeo, but at a band concert where I had a solo. Meh.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Robert Darling is a gigantic ass-hat! _

_We have been dating for seven months! Seven! That's forever! And all the sudden he leaves me for Pasty Miller, the little slut. Everyone knows that she is one, she's a freshman and dates seniors. What senior wants a freshman...unless she is willing to do what the senior girls aren't. Which she is. _

_I really loved Robert. Still do a little bit. I let him get to second base and everything just to try and make him happy. He seemed to like it a lot but I didn't really like it. He kept asking me if it felt good and I kept saying yes, but it didn't feel good at all. Didn't really feel like anything actually. But when you love someone you are willing to do just about anything to make them happy. _

_Then he goes and tells people that I let him touch me. At least it made me popular. Well, popular to the boys. _

_The bad part is that dad found out. Stupid Jerry told him. Dad blew a gasket. I'm grounded until I die, which usually means about a month. Dad just kept yelling and yelling at me. He told me that guys only want one thing and that I should respect myself. Blah blah blah. He has obviously never been a 15 year old girl so what does he know? I don't really care what he thinks anymore anyways. He's been acting weird ever since I started dating. _

_Mom just says that she's disappointed in me. Margie keeps giving me warning about giving it away and having to live with the consequences. She's depressed a lot and I have no clue why. It's a lot of fun being an aunt, I bet being a mom is even more fun._

_I think granny would be upset with me, but I'm not gonna stress over it. _

* * *

Penny is a lot smarter than people gave her credit for. She could get straight A's if she wanted to. It's just that a long time ago she realized that being smart isn't as acceptable as being social. Penny wanted to be liked. That meant not getting perfect grades. It meant not having time to help on the farm anymore. It meant no more junior rodeo. What it did mean was cheer-leading, homecoming, and countless parties.

Penny was at a party. Not just any party. A senior party. All of the popular kids were there. These were the people that needed to be impressed if you wanted to maintain your popularity. Robert had unknowingly helped her with that.

She was looking good and she knew it. She had put pink highlights in her hair the night before, and a friend showed her how to use makeup. She had left her house in jeans and a t-shirt, but quickly changed in the car. Now she had on the shortest skirt she could find and paired it with a halter top.

"Hey Penn. Looking good." Penny looked over and blushed. Michael was the most popular kid in school. Perfect looks, perfect personality, perfect everything. Penny looked him over.

"You don't look too bad yourself Mike." Penny was rather proud of herself for not blushing or stammering.

Mike acted like the compliment was due him. "Yeah well. I heard that you really do like to party." It dawned on Penny what he really wanted. She stared at him for a minute, thoughts racing through her head. _So he doesn't really like me. He just thinks I'm pretty. But, it would make Robert jealous._

"Well, I haven't had the best experience partying. My last boyfriend didn't really know what he was doing." She gave him a little smirk. Flirting was fun, it was easy.

"Oh I think that I can fix that. I can give you a night you won't ever forget." Looking him in the eyes, Penny quickly tried to backpedal.

"I'm trying to take a break from all of that. I don't want to use people as a rebound, ya know?"

He didn't take the hint. "You just need to relax a bit. Want some beer?" Trying to maintain her new cool factor, Penny nodded. It tasted horrible. It was pretty much what she imagined pee would taste like, but she forced herself to drink it and hid her grimace behind the cup.

* * *

The more she drank, the easier to was to drink more. About the fourth or fifth cup in Penny saw the world as a very happy, fuzzy haze. Somehow everything Mike said was funny or the smartest thing that she had ever heard. He seemed to have the best ideas. And when she complained that she was hot, he told her to take her top off because it would cool her down.

"But I don't want everyone to see me!" Penny squealed at him.

He gave her an easy grin. "Then just go up to one of the bedrooms. Can I come too? I like talking to you, you're just so pretty."

Penny smiled at him. "See? You do have the best ideas!" Giggling, she let Mike lead her up to one of the bedrooms.

Giggling, she let him take off her halter top.

Giggling, she let him pet her hair.

Giggling, she let him kiss her.

Giggling, she let him touch her.

At first it was weird. She didn't really love Mike, she wasn't even sure if she liked him. But, he was hot. And he seemed to really like her. Penny loved the way he looked at her. It was like she was the most beautiful girl, no the most beautiful woman, on earth. Then it felt better. Well, better than what Robert did to her.

Then it went too far when Mike tried to slip his hand up her skirt.

"Just relax Penn. Let me take care of you." He was irritated.

"Just let me go Mike. I don't wanna fool around anymore. I wanna go home." Penny tried to push him off, but he countered her every move.

"You aren't going anywhere you little tease." He growled at her.

Penny's head started churning. Maybe there was no way out. Maybe she shouldn't have worn these clothes. Maybe she should just lie back and let him...

No. Penny realized quickly. She isn't that type of girl. There is always a way out. She wore those clothes to fit in, not because she wanted _this_ kind of attention. And she has _never_ in her _life_ just laid back and let things happen.

Summoning her muscle memory of junior rodeo, Penny easily turned the tables. Fear had shaken off the last of her buzz and adrenaline sped up her reflexes. Almost before Mike realized what was happening, Penny had gotten the upper hand by pinning him to the bed with his arm pulled behind his back.

"Never touch me again and I'll never tell anyone how a fifteen year old just whipped your ass. Deal?" At Mike's hurried nod Penny slowly got up and left the room, shutting the door behind her. She paused for a minute, trying to gain enough composure to get out of the house before bursting into tears.

**A/N: Story recommendation time! ****The Paladin Protocol****by SpaceAnJL. Whenever I can't decide what to read, this is my go to story. Go read it right now! Because once you do, you will NEVER get the image of Sheldon with a sword out of your head again. It is my official happy place! lol**


	4. Chapter 4

_I am soooooooo nervous! I can't even believe it! I am the star of our high school play! _

_I play Abigail Williams in __**The Crucible**__. It's the lead and it is harder than I thought to remember all of those lines! It's even harder when you add the fact that it's got all of that old people English talk in it. _

_There's a guy in class, I never bothered to learn his name, and he can translate it into English. Well, his version of English anyway. I feel kinda bad for him. Everyone makes fun of him, even the teachers. I heard them one day. I don't feel bad enough to stand up for him though. Better he gets made fun of than me. _

_I can't wait for the play to start. I feel like I really have a hang of the whole acting thing. I love it! I get to pretend like I am somebody else and it feels good. I don't have to be me the entire time that I am on stage. I get everyone looking at me and paying attention to me and it's awesome. I get to tell a story too, and that's fun. But what's even better is the funny clothes and the makeup and the spotlight on yours truly. Kurt says that I have talent. He thinks that I'm going to go far in the acting thing. I'm not that sure. I'm just gonna see how opening night goes and then go from there. _

* * *

Penny was excited as she was getting ready for her first scene. Maybe being Abigail Williams wasn't the most glamorous role in the world, but it would really make her reach as an actress. This wasn't a simple role, it wasn't a supporting role, it was _the_ role.

Unfortunately she couldn't talk the teacher out of making her wear Puritan clothes. Seriously, they did absolutely nothing for her figure.

"Hey doll-face, you're looking good!" Fortunately for Penny, Kurt still thought she was cute.

"Awww, thank you sweetie! Cause seriously? These clothes? I can see why we had to go through women's lib!" Kurt laughed while Penny cringed inside. It was a good joke sure, but the growing awareness of who she was becoming was starting to bother her.

Kurt leaned down to give Penny what she thought would only be a peck on the cheek but turned into a mini make-out session. Penny reluctantly pushed him away. "Baby, you're gonna mess up all my makeup! And I'm gonna be on in an hour!" She leaned up to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Go get in your seat Kurt."

"Break a leg sexy." He said before heading out to the stadium.

Penny watched him go. Well, she watched the way his ass moved as he walked. Same thing in her mind. Once she couldn't see him anymore she pulled the Hello Kitty necklace out from underneath her costume and gave it a comforting squeeze. This was a big step, a step in the right direction. A step that will help her get out of this town and _be _somebody_._ Right now it may be only a high school play, but she was the lead. She was the star and by all that was holy she was gonna act like it.

* * *

Intermission came all too quickly in Penny's opinion. When the curtain closed she quickly got off of the stage. All of the stage hands were running around and were trying to fix everything for the second half of the play within the time allowed. Penny honestly thought that she was gonna get run over.

After touching up her makeup and making sure that she was ready for the next scene, she took in the atmosphere. Backstage was truly magical to her. It was where you stopped being ordinary and were given that something special. People in costumes, people changing, people in normal clothes.

She did notice that some of the other girl's boyfriends popped up during intermission, but she couldn't see Kurt. And someone over six foot, well he just shouldn't be that hard to find. Kurt wasn't the most romantic person in the world, it probably never occurred to him to show up. She wasn't his first serious girlfriend, but boys don't mature as quickly as girls right? It wasn't that he didn't care about her. He did. He told her that he loved her all the time. Granted it was usually after they had sex but the point was that he said it! And he didn't check out other girls anymore. He actually listened when she said it bothered her.

"Ok kids! Let's get going!" Penny vaguely heard one of the teachers say. Penny physically shook her head and tried to shake off the nagging feeling that she had been getting whenever she thought to hard about Kurt.

* * *

By the end of things, Penny was exhausted. She just couldn't believe all the work that really went into opening night. She was in the bathroom at the school getting into her normal clothes when she heard voices.

"Oh my god, he is so hot! We are going out next week. He says that he's gonna take me to a car show and then out to eat at Red Lobster!"

"Wow...that's kinda expensive isn't it?"

The other girl giggled. "Yeah it is. But Kurt has his own job and his own car. He's also a senior!"

The voices faded away as the girls walked down the hallway. Penny had stopped halfway through changing and she just stared in the mirror with a look of shock over her face.

"Oh." Was all she said.

**A/N: This chapter took me a long time to write, because even though I think that it's important it wasn't any fun forcing Penny into that.**


	5. Chapter 5

_California here I come!_

_Can you even believe it?! California, land of the stars. Kurt and I are going together. He wants to get into body building and says that Cali is as good a place as any. I can see us now: him owning his own gym and winning awards for his weight lifting, and me winning Oscars for serious movies. Movies that will one day be taught in colleges._

_College is the problem. Dad would kill me if he found out what I'm gonna do. I've got almost all of my clothes packed and hiding at Kurt's house. When dad leaves the house tomorrow morning I'm gonna grab the rest of my stuff and head to Kurt's. Then he's gonna drive his truck and I'm gonna drive my hand me down car from Katie. She had to get another one when she found out that she was pregnant...again. Honestly doesn't that girl know how babies are made? Condoms and the pill, that's all I'm saying. An unstoppable double whammy that keeps your from being a mommy while you are still in your prime._

_I can't wait to get away from here. Nebraska is boring. It's nowhere and I'm a nobody. California will be different. I'll get to start over. I'll start my new life with Kurt there. It's gonna be perfect!_

* * *

For the first time in her life Penny couldn't sleep. She kept getting up to check and triple check the suitcase that she had buried in her closet. Around four in the morning Penny gave up trying to sleep. She was too excited to slow her brain down. Finally her life was starting. It took 19 years, but it was finally gonna start. She was gonna be a famous actress with a hot body building boyfriend who owns gyms. She was gonna get away from her brother and sister. Away from her dad and mom. Away from the life sucking state that is Nebraska.

She would miss them though. Well, she'd miss her parents at least. Jerry keeps moving in and out of places. Penny honestly couldn't tell you where he lived if asked. Katie had no time for her. Her sister's life revolved around her children.

* * *

Penny started as she heard her dad's alarm go off. That gave her an hour before he left. An hour until her freedom. An hour before her life would finally start. She jumped up to her little desk and jotted a quick note:

_I love all of you very much but I just can't take it here anymore._

_I'm leaving, with Kurt. We are moving to California. It's the only way that I can be taken seriously as an actress._

_Please don't be mad at me. I didn't do it to hurt you guys, I did it for me. I'll call along the way and when we find a place I'll be sure to let you know._

_Love all of you, _

_the shiniest Penny of them all._

Once her small note was done Penny listened closely to the noises in the house. For once she was grateful for the thin walls. She heard the muffled sounds of the news from the radio. She heard her father's heavy footsteps walk up and down the hallway and the ding of the microwave. That was her cue.

Pretending that she was a super spy in the best action movie of the year, Penny slightly oiled her bedroom window. She started humming the James Bond theme song as she grabbed her last duffel bag and slipped a rope around it so she could lower it to the ground without it making any noise. It may have been over-kill, but it was fun and lowered her fears.

It wasn't that she didn't love Kurt because she did. He thought she was beautiful and talented. Sure they didn't talk much, but talking was over rated. He was hot and he was gonna go places. Penny realized a long time ago that fairy tales were just that: stories. There was no such thing as true love. Kisses didn't bring you back from the dead, and Prince Charming was never gonna come save her. Kurt told her all the time that he was the best she was gonna get and by now she just believed him. He was changing for her too. He stopped cheating on her after a well-placed punch to his stomach.

Ah. The front door. Finally, her dad was gone! Her mom wouldn't be home from her night job for about two more hours. Excellent. Adrenaline flooded her body as the excitement of what she was about to do hit her again. She hopped down the stairs giggling to herself. This was really happening!

Penny stopped long enough to grab her purse and to tape her note to the TV screen in the living room. She almost was out the door before she turned around to take a last look at her childhood home. As her eyes scanned the living room she spotted her granny's old blanket. With tears in her eyes Penny darted back into the room and grabbed the blanket before she bolted back out again to drive to Kurt's.

Once there, she got a simple "Hey Babe. You ready to rock it?" Penny just nodded. This was it. This was the day her life starts. Oddly enough she didn't feel excited. She didn't feel much of anything really. There was a little bit of unease about her. She felt like she should be moving to California. She had to if she was gonna try to make this whole acting thing work.

Call it intuition, call it foreshadowing, call it whatever you want. Penny chose to ignore it because in reality, Kurt was her only way out of this nowhere town that was in a nowhere state.

**A/N: I had planned to make this chapter a bit more in depth and after two days I can tell you as a fact that I am in no way satisfied with it. All it really did was get Penny out of Nebraska and to California where she belongs with Sheldon. **

**Side note, I am staying with my grandfather for awhile, so no clue when I will be updating. When I finally DO get to the wonderful world of the internet, I will probably update everything that I wrote while he is asleep. Be prepared is all I'm saying!**


	6. Chapter 6

_Kurt is a gigantic ass-hat! _

_No, ass-hats are better than him! He only hopes that he could become an ass-hat one day! _

_How could he treat me like that? After everything that we have been through? I really thought that things would be different here. I really thought that he was over the whole cheating thing. _

_Apparently I was very wrong. Very very wrong. I just feel so stupid! I feel like a total and complete idiot. Dad tried to tell me, hell even Jerry tried to tell me. I just refused to see it. I thought that I could change him! I thought that he really cared about me._

_Well, I'm done with him. I'm done with all of it! He can go to hell without a hand basket! I'm gonna move up to bigger and better things and he's just gonna be the douche who realized what he lost too late!_

* * *

Penny was in a good mood. She had gotten off work early and was ready to surprise Kurt. This would be the first time in over a month that she got a chance to spend any time with her boyfriend.

Penny ran down the hall, anxious to start a romantic evening. She quietly opened the door, and that's when she heard it.

Moaning.

Kurt calling out baby.

A girl shrieking.

That bastard.

Penny slipped past the kitchen and turned to the bedroom. She loudly cleared her throat and got no response.

"Hi Kurt. Hi Kurt's whore." Penny yelled into the room. If Penny wasn't so pissed off, his expression would have made her giggle. The strange girl jumped off of Kurt and ran out of the room. Once Penny heard the door slam she turned to her boyfriend. "Have anything to say?" She asked him.

"What are you doing home from work so early?"

"Seriously?" Penny shrieked. "That is what you have to say? I catch you with another woman in the bed that you and I have shared for the past two years and all I get is what are you doing home from work?"

Kurt stared at her for a minute. "Just calm down baby. You're over excited." He spoke to her like he was talking to a scared animal.

"I'm sorry, who are you talking to again? You've been calling a lot of people baby lately so I'm confused." She told him.

"I don't know why you are so upset Penny. This is all you fault." Wow. Penny was willing to admit that the boy had balls.

"How on earth is it my fault that you cheated?"

"You are never here!" He started yelling at her. "You are always at work or at auditions. You don't give me any attention anymore! You don't care about me. You can't blame me for getting it somewhere else when you are never around!"

Penny was in inch away from giving him a load of junior rodeo. "I'm working all the time because you haven't gotten a job in over three months. My paycheck is paying for all of this you free-loading bastard! I am away at auditions because I refuse to be just a waitress for the rest of my life!" Penny's voice dropped to disappointment, "You could have just talked to me ya know? You could have said that you were having problems."

Kurt just gave her a disbelieving look. "Whatever baby. I'm getting out of here. I'll be back once you've gotten the chance to cool down."

Once Kurt left, Penny went into a flurry. She ran into the closet and grabbed her suitcases. Anything that could be put in there was thrown in viciously. Clothes, shoes, various nick knacks were tossed in indiscriminately. She grabbed her granny's blanket from it's hiding spot in between the mattress and box springs. It was the one thing that she never let Kurt use. She doubted that he even knew about it. She gently laid it on top of her belongings and closed the lid.

Once Penny's car was packed with everything that she couldn't live without she went down the hallway to the apartment for the last time. She took a good look around. It was amazing what she was willing to let him keep. A stereo system that she bought him for his birthday, a glass coffee table Penny took great pride in keeping clean, a tower full to the brim of cds and dvds.

"Will you just look at how I've neglected you Kurt. I'm just a horrible person to make you live in such a pigsty." She commented to the room as she glanced around the barely touched living room. "Well, I wouldn't want to make you a liar now would I?"

With that Penny reached up to the nearest tower and knocked it and its contents to the floor. She took great care to stomp on everything that fell down with the tower.

"Oops, did I do that?" She deadpanned to the empty room. Very quickly she turned to the coffee table and flipped it over, smiling at the satisfying crash it made when the glass broke. Penny systematically went room to room, destroying anything that she could reasonably claim as hers.

She left her key on top of the only thing that she left standing, the tv. Turning to look around at her handiwork, she gave a brief smile.

"I'm pretty sure that I feel better about myself now." She stated to herself. It was true too. There was something quite cleansing in destroying things sometimes.

Penny maintained her calm dignity until she parked her car outside of a friend's house. Once she cut the engine and before she opened the driver's door, she broke down. Hot angry tears slipped out without her permission. Heavy sobs racked her body.

She cried for the four years of their off and on relationship. She cried for time wasted with someone who only wanted a free ride and a warm body in his bed. She cried because she knew Kurt would force her friends to take side and Penny already knew which side they would take. The herd always follows the alpha male. That brought out a whole new set of tears. Now Penny cried because she had to face facts. She had to face reality.

Penny was alone.

**A/N: For those of you who inquired, my grandfather passed away last night on the second. Trust me when I say he was my sweet little old man and the ONLY man who has never let me down. **

**Now that I have wi-fi again, please prepare for a chapter onslaught. I wrote a lot while I was there. Just need to type it up now.**


	7. Chapter 7

_My neighbors are two beautiful mind genius type guys. This is a very nice way of saying that they are the nerdiest nerds that I have ever seen in my life. No joke. I'm no idiot and I couldn't even keep up with half of what they said._

_The short one, Leonard was his name, I'm pretty sure he has created an insta-crush on me. Flattering to be sure, but so NOT interested! He seems sweet, but in no way my type. Maybe this makes me shallow, but I want a guy who is at least as tall as I am. _

_The tall one, now he was pretty cute. Well, he was cute until he opened his mouth and words starting coming out. He is a condescending ass. His name is Sheldon. _

_That name alone would have gotten the crap kicked out of him in Nebraska. Just saying. _

_I maybe sorta lead Leonard on with the whole shower thing, I admit it. But my shower didn't work and I was stinky. I was starting to offend myself stinky. Ew. I needed a shower like yesterday. I guess that I could have taken a bath, but I didn't have any of my books unpacked to read while I was in there and I wanted to be quick about it too. My baths tend to take awhile._

_The tv thing. God, I have NO idea why I did that other than the fact that I really didn't want to buy a new tv since I bought that one only three months ago and I haven't even really used it because I was working so much. It was also one of the few things that I didn't break when I left. I should have though._

_Then Leonard and Sheldon come home with no pants on. NO PANTS! I didn't even know that you could do that to someone in their late 20's. I was wrong. Boy was I wrong. And not just about the whole tv thing. _

_Sheldon wears tighty whities. I still don't think that my eyes are back in their head yet._

_I did offer to take them all out to eat though. My treat, which I really can't afford right now. Hell, I can't afford much of anything right now. It was awkward to say the least._

_My new neighbors had two friends over during all of this. So a meal for three has turned into a meal for five. Oh well. I didn't really need to get groceries. Howard is creepy. I'm pretty sure in his head he thinks that he's 6 foot tall and full of muscle and charm. _

_He is not. He looks more like a Beatles reject. _

_The other guy was Raj. He can't talk around women apparently. That's kinda funny and sad all rolled into one. _

_I'm pretty sure that I won't have to deal to much with them though. It's just four nerds. What harm could there be in buying them dinner for one night?_

* * *

Sushi equals yummy. Bars always equal fun. Waiting for twenty minutes for Sheldon to decide where they were all gonna sit was not fun. Howard having to order one of the most expensive things on the menu because the boy can't even look at a peanut without getting hives was not nice to her wallet. Raj just randomly pointed to something on the menu, Penny wasn't even sure he knew what he was gonna eat. Leonard tried to go cheap and that made him fo up a mark in her book. Sheldon harrassed the poor waiter for ten minutes, trying to make sure that his order was correct. Penny wouldn't be surprised if his food came with extra spit, free of charge.

It was official. Penny was in hell. If Howard wasn't making horribly inappropriate comments about her body, Leonard was staring at her as if he could see her naked. Raj was just sitting in a corner. It looked like he was pretending that no one could see him. That left Sheldon. This guy couldn't keep his mouth shut if he tried. Penny was seriously considering finding some duct tape.

"...including coughing up a worm, partial loss of eye sight due to mercury poisoning, exposure to radioactive iodine, or death." All four men looked at Penny with various degrees of fear and disgust while she inhaled her Hawaiian roll.

"What?" She asked the group. Of course Sheldon answered her.

"Did you not hear me? Sushi is a dangerous food to partake in. Meat in any form that hasn't been cooked to a proper interior temperature is an invitation for parasites and sickness. I highly suggest that we adjourn to a different, more sanitary establishment."

"Sheldon, we already ordered. Our food is here. Half of it is gone. I still have to pay for it. We are staying. If you don't want to eat that's fine, I'm finishing my food." Penny informed him with a glare.

"So Penny, what's your family like?" Leonard was trying to relieve the tension. He wasn't gonna let one crazy night with one crazy roomate ruin his chances with this hot, yet somehow also nice, girl.

"Pretty average for Nebraska. My parents are still together, I have a big sister and brother. My sister is married, she had two kids." Her voice lightened when she talked about her nephews. "They are so sweet. And smart, well not you guys smart. They are both in some advanced classes though. What about you guys?" Making sure to catch Sheldon's attention, Penny took a huge bite of her roll.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your banal chit-chat, but I am finding your careless disregard of your own health quite disconcerting. If you must inflict sickness and parasites on your person be my guest, but please leave my body out of it." Sheldon interrupted. "Honestly, why are we still here? I don't see why we had to change our routine for the evening. We are missing Battlestar Galactica for this!"

"Sheldon, be nice." Leonard told him through clenched teeth.

Sheldon was offended. "I'm sorry, but isn't is nice to care about your fellow man's health? To ensure that she is free from body racking and vomit inducing food poisoning?"

"Oh. That's me." Howard piped up. "Please excuse me, voluptuosa dama, but this is my cue."

Penny glanced up to see the words **Big Howie is Singing Who's Your Daddy by Toby Keith.**

Penny abruptly stood up. "Sheldon's right you guys. Let's just leave."

**A/N: things are gonna get AU from the tv show from here on out I think. **


	8. Chapter 8

_Sheldon is bat crap crazy. I don't care if his mother had gotten him tested. I don't care if he shows me proof of his IQ. I DON'T CARE! You DON'T go into someone's home while they are asleep and clean. The sad thing is that he has no clue how creepy that was. He thinks that it was ok. That is was a good idea. That my only objection to him cleaning in my apartment was the fact that I didn't know he was there even though I was there._

_Bat Crap Crazy. Just saying._

_I mean, I have only been here for like two weeks. I also have been working about a million and a half hours at the Cheesecake Factory right now so that I can afford this place and all the bills that Kurt stiffed me with. _

_If I ever see that man again..._

_I was gonna get around to cleaning and sorting and organizing and all of that when I had the time. I guess in I shouldn't be THAT upset. I mean, if I knew that he was gonna be here it would still be awkward just because I don't know them that well. It wouldn't have been creepy though. And it would have saved me time and aggravation. _

_This place did look really good though. Looked outstanding once I took down the pictures he had up of Kurt. I really need to burn those._

* * *

"The Neighbor Agreement?" Penny glanced up from packet Sheldon had just given her and gave him a worried look. "Are you serious? Why do we need a contract to be neighbors?"

"Oh Penny, I'm always serious when it comes to legally binding contracts."

"He's not lying" Leonard said from the kitchen.

"Ok, but what about where you said that I am not allowed into your domicile without proper notice? What the hell?" Penny asked him as she sat next to him at his spot.

"An excellent question. A domicile is a place that a person lives in and has a substantial connection with." At her blank look, Sheldon continued, "All of my cool stuff is here. Proper notice in this instance would be four to five hours before you plan on visiting."

"How am I supposed to know if I am going to visit you five hours before I actually come over?"

"You will see that addendum A is my weekly schedule. It never deviates unless there is an emergency. Please plan your visits accordingly."

"He has a pdf format online if you ever lose it." Leonard murmured to her as her handed her a water bottle.

A flurry of moving pages accompanied Penny's next statement. "But it says here that you can come into my apartment whenever you want. How come I have to give notice but you don't? What makes you so special?"

"Penny." He really did say her name a lot. It was like he was trying to make sure that the dog was paying attention to him or something. "If I ever come over to your apartment, rest assured, it will be important. I'm not one for banal chit chat."

Penny gave Sheldon the sweetest smile she could. "Alright Sheldon, I'll sign your little agreement." When he nodded in affirmation she added, "I'll sign it _if_ we make up a new one, together. We each should have equal input, just cause you're smarter than me doesn't mean that you get to dictate everything." Looking like he was going to argue, Sheldon opened his mouth. Penny quickly cut him off before he could even start. "We both work together on it or I won't sign anything and then you'll never know what I'm gonna do. Imagine what that could do to your schedule."

Penny sat back and watched the wheels working in his mind. It was kinda fun to out-smart the smarty pants.

"Agreed. Let us begin immediately." With that Sheldon jumped off of the couch to get a notebook and pens.

* * *

"Why do we need a Skynet Clause? What the hell is Skynet anyway?" Penny asked from the floor. There were papers spread around her in a small semi-circle and she was on her second cup of coffee. The two of them had been working on The Neighbor Agreement for Social Awkward People for about four hours. It took forty-five minutes for Penny to get him to agree to the name change. It was a small victory and she was proud of it.

"Skynet is from the Terminator series. It is a self-aware artificial intelligence system. It's goal is to exterminate the human race. This clause says that you will stay out of the way if I ever create artificial intelligence because you will have nothing to contribute." Sheldon informed her. He was still perfectly perched on his side of the couch. The only outward signs of his aggravation towards Penny was in slightly bunched up sleeves of his undershirt and hair that was out of place due to his hands running through it when Penny said something particularly frustrating. He looked cute. Wait, cute? Penny shook her head and tried to clear out the cobwebs.

"Fine, I agree to stay out of your way if you agree to something for me." Penny told him with a slight gleam in her eye.

"I already stipulated that I would not clean your apartment while you were sleeping or not at home." Sheldon quickly reminded her.

"I know that Sheldon." Penny was actually quite proud of him for agreeing to that so quickly, although she was pretty sure it had something to do with Leonard hissing at him. Leonard seemed to be the only one that Sheldon would listen to. Penny mentally tucked that away for future use. "I want to be able to use your wi-fi."

"Oh, alright." He told her. "That seems simple enough. You can pay for a third of the usage..."

"No Sheldon." She interrupted him. "Free. I want to use your wi-fi free of charge for the foreseeable future." Penny was proud that she used foreseeable correctly. It seemed she got her way more when she used bigger words. It wasn't like she didn't know them, it was just easier to talk the way she did. Penny noticed him twitching slightly and added some honey to the pot. "I'll take you out and you can make me buy whatever disaster prep bag you want, within reason."

"Deal."

* * *

"And sign and date here." With Penny's last flourished signature the agreement was complete. "I will make a copy for you, please hold on a moment." Sheldon told her.

Penny fought her yawn. "Nah Sheldon, it's good. You can give it to me tomorrow. I don't think that one night is gonna make any difference, do you?"

Sheldon blinked as he looked at her. She tried to read what little emotions he let play across his face before he responded. "Alright. Have a good night Penny."

Later on that night as Penny was waiting for sleep to come to her she realized something. She just spent an entire night working up a contract that included Skynet and aliens. She did this with Sheldon, who is quite possibly the smartest person she would ever know. He didn't try anything with her either. Even after Leonard went to bed, he didn't flirt. He didn't try to sneak peeks like Leonard did, or stare like a creepy stalker like Howard did the other night. He treated her like a normal human being and not some pretty girl.

Penny couldn't remember a night where she had more fun.

**A/N: This has been sitting on my laptop for awhile, so I am sorry about how long it took to update. But if any of you have ever had strep throat you get it. I could barely raise my head for a week. I hope you enjoyed!**


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Additional disclaimer: The only Clorox or Pine-sol that I own is in my pantry. **_

_By the angels above, he called her the Whore Of Omaha. Well, I capitalized it, but Dr. Crazy Britches said it first. It's kinda true too. I mean, I'm no innocent, but at least I remember the NAME of everyone that I was with._

_I kinda messed with his schedule without meaning to though. He kept complaining about the time. Apparently being 13 minutes late for a video game that they play every week is the end of the world. I felt kinda bad though. I mean, I know how important control is to the guy. _

_Well, I felt bad until he said that there was no way I would be able to play a shooting game. It was too complicated for me. Something about weapons and strategies to master and a really difficult back story. Difficult my ass. That's why I blew his character to a million zillion little pieces. He said that no one could be as attractive as me and be good at video games. Then he walked off in a huff._

_Someone is a sore loser._

_Sheldon did agree to me staying the night though. Well, Leonard kinda strong armed it outta him. BUT the fact remains that he let it happen. _

_I'm still gonna have to burn my robe. I refuse to wear it ever again. Gonna need new sheets too I think. And bleach to scrub my apartment with. Repeatedly._

* * *

"Sheldon sweetie, don't get me wrong I am really grateful that you decided to come with me, but I really can manage this on my own." Penny tried one more time to keep Sheldon at home. He had insisted on going with her to the store to help her pick up cleaning supplies. It was the happiest that she had ever seen him.

"Penny, I have seen your cleaning supplies. At best they are lacking. At worst they are a laughingstock. You only have one multi-purpose cleaner and a broom. Abysmal." He scoffed at her.

"What's wrong with multi-purpose cleaner?" Penny asked as the got into the car.

"What's wrong with...oh Penny, listen to yourself. What do they teach you in Nebraska? Multi-purpose cleaners do not clean all surfaces of the home. Specific cleaners for specific jobs. It will make sanitizing your apartment easier and fun. We will also need to get sponges that are for cleaning use only and – Penny, you're check engine light is on." Penny rolled her eyes. Sometimes she swore the boy had ADD.

"I know that Sheldon." She said without concern.

"It isn't safe to be in this car right now Penny. Pull over." Sheldon's voice started to rise in his excitement.

"Sheldon, just calm down." Penny was starting to get annoyed. "We are almost there. Nothing is going to happen."

"So this is how it ends. One of the greatest minds of the twenty first century gone before his time due to improper car maintenance." Penny went from annoyed to irritated.

"Look, no one invited you. You invited yourself because you think you are an expert in everything. If you wanna be a part of this then you have to shut your hole for the remainder of the ride. If you continue to talk, I am not above kicking you out of the car while it's moving. Do you understand?" Sheldon nodded in understanding, he wasn't willing to risk saying yes and getting thrown out of the car.

Penny instantly felt guilty. In his own very weird way, Sheldon was just trying to help. Well, he was just trying to help until he noticed the check engine light. That thing had been on since before she left Kurt, and nothing had happened yet. At this point Penny just figured the light was messing with her. It was just her luck that she would pay the hundred dollar fee just to get them to look at the car and nothing would be wrong.

* * *

"Penny, how do you feel about fragrances?" Was the seemingly random question from Sheldon.

"What?" Honestly, she needed to learn to say more that 'what' to Sheldon. He's gonna start thinking she's dumber than she really is.

She looked up to see him gesturing at a variety of floor cleaners. "Do you want a specific fragrance with your cleaning products? Do you have a brand preference? Are you allergic to any chemicals? Do you prefer 'planet friendly' or the raw power of laboratory strength disinfectant?"

"Is there really six different types of Pine-Sol?" Penny had never stopped to look. She usually just grabbed a multi-purpose cleaner that was on sale. She craned her neck to take a look at Sheldon. He almost looked...happy. He was certainly the most content that Penny had ever seen him. "What do you use?"

Sheldon looked startled. "Me?" Penny just nodded, trying not to laugh at the shock on his face. He instantly assumed his blank face. Penny was starting to learn that meant he was either thinking really hard about something or trying not to show too much emotion. "Well, for floor cleaners I use original Pine-Sol."

Penny couldn't help but ask, "Why?"

Sheldon gave her a small smile as he grabbed an enormous bottle and placed it in the cart. "Because that is what my MeeMaw used while I was growing up. It reminds me of her." As soon as her glimpse into his life showed up, it vanished again. "Are you willing to bow to my expertise for the remainder of the shopping trip?"

Penny took a minute to think this through. She learned very early on that Sheldon took everything you said at face value. "For all of the cleaning supplies, yes because you seem to have a better grasp on how to De-Howard my apartment. I will be choosing the new towels and bedsheets. Agreed?"

"Agreed. Let's go look at bathroom cleaners!" Sheldon looked down at her. "The proper bathroom cleaner can change your life." He said so seriously that Penny bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at him.

* * *

Three hours later and Penny's apartment had the wonderful smell of clean wafting through it. She collapsed on her little couch and glanced at Sheldon. He was busy wiping down her new cleaning supplies with Clorox wipes.

"Now why do you do that? They are cleaning stuff. They are all clean." Tested or not, she was pretty sure the boy was a little bit crazy.

"I am wiping them down so that any liquid that may have run down the side of the bottle is cleaned up. Otherwise you will have sticky hands next time you clean." That almost sounded considerate, once you waded through all of the condensation.

"Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense."

"Of course it does Penny. It is quite disturbing to have sticky hands." He finished putting away Penny's new supplies. "Your apartment is sanitary, although how long it will stay like this is anyone's guess."

Penny chose to ignore that last statement considering how he helped her De-Howard her entire apartment and stood up to see him out. "Thank you Sheldon. I'm not saying it was fun, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought that it would be." She gave him a small hug in the open doorway. She figured a hug would scare him, but she was a physical person and wanted to show her gratitude. She figured he would feel a bit like cold marble.

Penny didn't know how warm he would feel. Sheldon practically radiated heat, and he smelled like soap and Pine-Sol. He smelled like home. She pulled away from him when she heard Leonard clearing his throat.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Leonard asked in a squeaky voice. Poor guy. He tries so hard to be liked. Too hard.

"Sheldon came to the rescue with his knowledge of the universe to help me De-Howard my apartment." Penny informed him.

"Oh." Leonard said. "I was going to offer to help you with that tonight. I didn't realize that you wanted to get started so early." He sounded kinda depressed.

"It's ok Leonard. Sheldon was here and he really enjoys doing that kinda stuff. See ya later guys! And thanks again Sheldon." Penny said before gently closing the door.

She had to figure out how to end this insta-crush that Leonard seemed to have on her. He seemed like a nice guy, but not the guy for her. He was upset that he didn't clean her apartment. What guy likes to clean? Well, Sheldon does but that didn't count. Sheldon didn't offer either, he invited himself along for all of it. Leonard would get over it eventually.

Penny stood in the middle of her living room with her eyes closed, just breathing in the smell. It smelled like soap and nature and Pine-Sol and clean. It smelled like Sheldon. She was so busy taking in the smell that she never noticed the small smile that graced her face for the rest of the night.

**A/N: So did you find the small taste of the Shenny? And poor Leonard. My first story I made Leonard a very bad man and I don't wanna do that here. I was watching the (much more awesome) older episodes and he just seems like he tries too hard to be liked. Kinda feel bad for him in those episodes. Sorry if it ran too long for you, this chapter just didn't know when to quit. **

**Thank you for all of the kind reviews as well! I know that I haven't responded very much and sorry for that, but you guys rock my world when I'm at work (I'm a janitor) and my e-mail icon shows up while I'm cleaning bathrooms saying that a new review has been posted. Thank you!**


	10. Chapter 10

_hose four idiots wanted to time-share a completely FAKE time machine, and I'm the one being unreasonable. Then instead of just pushing the damn thing down to the landing and only having to go back up one flight of stairs, Dr. Crazy tells me to use the roof. The roof! All of this because they wanted to play with their stupid new toy._

_Then Leonard takes what I said too seriously, of course. He wants to get rid of everything that makes him Leonard. For a genius he sure acts like an idiot. _

_Sheldon stood up for him though, with a plastic sword of all things. Then he made fun of my stuff. My Care Bears and Hello Kitty. Ok, the Care Bears...unless you get it, they are stupid. I understand that. But no one insults Hello Kitty! I would have died if Sheldon found my necklace and stuffed Kitty that Granny gave me. _

_I went out with Mike again. He seems like a nice enough person. Someone who won't cheat on me at least. And he was willing to take it slow. I just don't know though. Something is missing it's like -_

* * *

Penny was writing in her journal, but was interrupted by what has now become very familiar knocking.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She slowly put away her diary, hiding it in her bedside drawer.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She headed to the door, wondering what kind of crazy was awaiting her.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She pulled open the door.

"Hello Sheldon. How may I help you today." She stepped back to let him in.

Sheldon walked in and solemnly handed her a set of dvd's. "It occurred to me that you mock my interests because you have yet to be exposed to them. I assure you that even someone who dropped out of community college can understand the plot lines." Penny took a look at the pristine packages and slowly sat down.

"Star Trek the original series, Star Trek the Next Generation, and series one of Dr. Who. Sheldon, what the hell?" There was no way she was going to spend her one day off this week watching a sci-fi dorkfest. "I appreciate it sweetie, I really do, but I don't want to watch these."

"Is it because you don't have Blue Ray? Because I can go and get my other sets." Sheldon asked, genuinely confused as to why she wouldn't want to watch three of his favorite shows.

"Well, these kinds of shows really aren't my thing." She was trying to be nice.

"Nonsense, you are unaware of what you are missing. In this case, ignorance is not bliss. Now, we should begin with Star Trek the original series." Sheldon settled into his spot at Penny's apartment. "Please insert the first disk of season one."

Noticing that he wasn't going to budge, she gave in. "Fine. But don't expect me to drool all over it like you do." Penny informed him as she did as told.

* * *

"So basically Spock says that things are illogical or fascinating, the doctor says dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a fill-in-the-blank, and the captain bangs the hot alien?" Penny asked. Four hours in and she was just as confused and bored as ever.

"Penny, you are missing the big picture, as usual. Star Trek is more than it appears. It is about exploration and stretching the limits of physics and science as a whole. It is about friendship and how the ordinary man can do extraordinary things." Sheldon would have continued to wax poetic about it, but Penny interrupted him.

"Well, I do like the outfits that they had the girls wear. The sixties were good to ladies with decent legs."

"Trust you to make a visionary program like Star Trek into nothing but a trivial fashion show." He murmured a bit too low for her to hear.

"So you would want to be Spock then, right?" She asked, trying to understand a little bit more about her robot man.

"I do admire Spock. He had many ideals that I try to adhere to. He puts logic first, and baser feelings such as desire are put away. He is in control of himself. This is why he was able to achieve as much as he did. Spock didn't allow distractions in his life. I have often been told that if there was a shrine to Spock that I would be the first in line to worship." He told her almost reverently.

"Seems like a stupid way to live." Was Penny's off-handed statement.

"Not so!" Sheldon was aghast and his accent started to show through. "It makes far more sense than what you do! You parade around, man after man, most of whom you never see again. You wear clothing that is far too tight just for the sake of showing off 'the goods'. You allow your emotions to control you, which is why you imbibe alcohol at the startlingly alarming rate that you do. You fail to see that if you could just control yourself you could achieve much more. Penny, you could become what you want to be instead of settling for sub-par men and a sub-par career." Breathing heavily, he ended his rant.

At the beginning, Penny was ready to ream him up one side and down the other. The man after man comment really hurt far more than it should have. By the end though, she was oddly touched. Sheldon never said anything that he didn't mean. If she didn't know any better, Penny would have thought that he cared about her. "Ok, I know that we are friends, and I'm sorry that I made fun of Spock, but that doesn't mean that you get to belittle me and my life. Yes, I date. I won't apologize for trying to find someone special in my life. Yes, I do wear what some people would consider to be revealing clothes. I don't wear them all of the time. Most of the time I'm like this." She gestured to her current jeans and t-shirt outfit. "And lastly, thank you for caring about me and thinking that I could be something great." Penny whispered to him. "And I am going to hug you, so don't freak out." She got up and went over to his chair. Pulling him up, she gave him a tight hug that he reluctantly returned. Penny slightly nuzzled Sheldon's neck before letting go. She couldn't get enough of the smell of him.

Sheldon gave a slight twitch before speaking, "Tomorrow we should go through the Next Generation. Personally I prefer Picard to Kirk."

"No." Penny stated firmly. "No more Star Trek." She honestly didn't think she could handle it.

"Alright. I am adaptable. On your next day off of work we will begin with series one of Dr. Who. It is quite entertaining. We will start with the ninth doctor and work our way up to Matt Smith." Penny nodded, already planning on how to get out of being forced to watch more Sheldon tv.

She was seeing him out of her apartment so that she could lock up for the night when he abruptly turned and looked at her. He was completely silent when he stared at her. Sheldon was starting to make her really nervous when finally he moved. He rose his arm to tuck a piece of stray hair back behind her ear and gave her an honest to the angels smile.

"Good night Penny." He said softly. She watched him enter his apartment before closing her door. Penny flopped onto her couch and rested her head on the back of it. She absentmindedly played with her ever present Hello Kitty necklace as thoughts raced through her mind.

Why had she willingly given up an entire evening to hang out with Sheldon watching Star Trek? Well, she was happy that he was trying to be a friend. That sort of thing seemed kinda difficult for him. And he did want to share something that he loved with her. He truly wanted her to understand him. And he thought that she could be better than what she was. No one had ever told her that. She was usually told how lucky she was to be so pretty and how easy it must be to look like her.

She hadn't thought about Mike all night. She was too busy with Sheldon. She might have let Mike take liberties with her, as her mother would say, but nothing compared to that night. Mike made her feel desirable. Sheldon made her feel comfortable. Just him tucking her hair back into place made Penny feel safe and protected. Cared for. There was something about Sheldon that she just couldn't place.

Summoning all of her dramatic flair, Penny stood and announced to her room, "I just won't think about it is all. I'll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!" She paused for her imaginary applause, then headed into for a shower and bed.

**A/N: Yes, that quote at the end was from Gone With the Wind. It also seems like it could be Penny's and Sheldon's motto!**


	11. Chapter 11

_Mike is a gigantic ass-hat! Why on earth would anyone post such intimate details about their personal life on the internet?! Once it's online there is no real way to take it down. My sister even found it for crying out loud! _

_That idiot wrote about the park, the elevator, even the one time he talked me into making out at a Subway! _

_Not only am I humiliated and embarrassed, but now Howard is giving me weird looks like he knows. Hell, he probably found Mike's blog the second I left the room. Perv. I'm pretty sure Leonard was looking for it too, by the way he was acting. At least he didn't judge me for it. Well, he didn't judge me out loud. He tried his damnedest to make me feel better about myself. He even convinced me to talk to Mike and try to understand his point of view on the whole thing. _

_To say that was a bad idea was an understatement. The fact that he had already moved on in an hour and a half says something. It says that I wasn't the only one he was with. It says that he wasn't serious when he talked about our future together._

_It means that I fell for it...again._

_Then I made a mistake. _

_I was just venting is all. Getting out some frustrations about the type of man that I seem to attract. And then Leonard asks me out. _

_I still have no clue what possessed me to say yes. _

_And then I was stupid enough to talk to Sheldon about it. He started talking about some cat named Schrodinger. Then Leonard brought it up. And kissed me. I'm not gonna lie, it felt good. It wasn't exciting, and it didn't make my toes curl or anything like that. It didn't feel bad though. He seemed to know what he was doing._

_I'm starting to confuse myself now._

_We went out. It wasn't so bad in the grand scheme of things. It just didn't feel like a date. It felt like two friends hanging out in nicer clothes than normal._

* * *

"...and no cheese on top please." Leonard informed the waiter. Penny looked sympathetically at the waiter. She knew just how hard it could be to tell the chief in the back that almost everything had to be changed from the menu description. At least Leonard was nice about it. Sheldon would probably have had an extra helping of spit in his food. That boy needed a filter in the worst way.

"...Penny?" Oh, Leonard was talking. Damn, what did he say? Penny gave a slow blink.

"Sorry sweetie, what did you say?" He looked like a kicked puppy for a second before putting a smile on his face.

"I asked if you had gotten any new acting jobs." He told her. Someone who wanted to talk about her, and not her looks, what a nice change.

"Well, I've gotten some auditions, but I am waiting to hear from the director for Anne Frank. It's above a bowling ally, so it's nothing major. But, it would give me a chance to play something other than the dumb blond."

Leonard gave her a slightly confused look. "Anne Frank? Do you think that you are capable of that?"

Penny gave a small huff, "Why wouldn't I be? Why can't I play a role with depth?"

Leonard tried rapidly to backpedal, "No. No, I'm not saying that. I just think that your physical attributes don't necessarily match the attributes of..."

"I'm gonna stop you right there." Penny interrupted him, "I'm gonna stop you before you say something that will keep us from being friends. I take my acting very seriously, ok? I take it just as seriously as you take your physics." She scolded him.

"You can't really compare acting to phy- your right. I'm sorry. Let's change the subject." Leonard almost pleaded. Penny agreed and sneaked a glance at her watch. This was gonna be a long night.

* * *

"It was just nothing compared to college. We had all night Klingon battles, developed laser chess, we even changed the professor's whiteboards so that all of the equations made you solve for P instead of R" Leonard gave a big laugh. "Yeah, grad school was wild."

Penny just nodded. It just sounded like what they did at the apartment, but with more people. "Did you do any crazy stunts in college?" He asked her. Penny's mind went blank. She couldn't tell him that she dropped out to be with Kurt, it would be too embarrassing. She already figured out that he thought she was just a cute blond, and she really didn't want to add to that particular stereotype.

"I didn't really do any pranks in school. I went to community college because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to get a degree in, so I just really focused on trying to get my credits and stuff." Penny lied through her teeth. Truth was she did everything that you could do. She drank, she tried pot, she went to frat parties, she helped haze the freshmen when she **was** a freshman. She did everything that she could to fit in and be accepted, and it all bit her in the ass when she left Kurt.

* * *

"I had a really good time Penny." Leonard said as he leaned in to kiss her goodnight. Penny slightly turned her head so that his kiss landed on her cheek and not her lips. "Do you want to go out again sometime?" He asked her hopefully.

Penny sighed quietly to herself. "Leonard, you are a lot of fun. I did have a pretty good time tonight, it went better than I expected..."

"Same here." Leonard eagerly interrupted her.

"But," Penny continued, "I think that we are better off as friends."

"But – but Penny, you said that the cat was alive. I don't understand." Leonard said quietly, looking at his feet.

"I know what I said, and I'm sorry. I really am Leonard. It was a nice kiss, don't get me wrong, but there weren't any sparks." Penny said gently. She was trying not to hurt his feelings or his pride. She had a feeling that if she didn't handle this right she could kiss all of her new friends goodbye.

She may not be as smart as her boys, but even she could tell that she was failing miserably.

"I really am sorry Leonard." She whispered as she turned to head into her apartment.

* * *

Two days later and she heard the familiar knocking.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She sighed, putting down the dish that she was currently cleaning.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She leaned against the door and waited for the last round.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She opened the door.

"What up Buttercup?"

"This is banana bread." Sheldon informed her blandly. At Penny's blank look he continued. "An unsolicited gift of food can be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat."

Penny raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh. Well, would you like to come in Sheldon?" He nodded and gasped at what he saw.

"Oh good Lord. Were you robbed?"

"Sheldon, this conversation is gonna end real quick if you keep that up." Penny gestured to her living room. "It might not live up to your OCD standards of clean but normal people have no problem with it."

"Very well." Sheldon said after a long pause. "I would like you to resume your relationship with Leonard." At Penny's glare he added, "Please."

Penny blinked several times before responding. "No."

"I said please!" Sheldon protested.

"And I said no. Sheldon, this really isn't any of your business ok?" And idea hit her. "Did Leonard ask you to do this?"

"Leonard knows nothing about why I am here. He is busy in his room, badly singing what I am given to understand is an emo song." He informed her. "Why won't you be in a relationship with him?"

"Why do you care?" Penny asked him. She was frustrated with his chosen topic of conversation, and was trying to figure out a way to end it as soon as possible.

"Because he is making life very difficult for me. His moping, his off-key caterwauling, and he refuses to go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner tomorrow." Sheldon whined.

"Sheldon, I am not gonna hook up with Leonard just so that your life is easier." She was ready for him to leave. "There wasn't any spark ok? I just don't have feelings for him in that way." Penny tried to explain to him. "And you can't force feelings like that. They have to develop naturally."

"Unacceptable." Sheldon said in a monotone.

"Tough shit." Penny said in the same tone of voice. "I don't feel that way about Leonard. He is a good friend, and that's all."

"Am I your friend?" Sheldon asked her. Was he? At first yeah, he was a complete robot. She couldn't see past his shields. Now that she knew him a little bit better...well, she didn't know what she thought now.

"Yes Sheldon. We are friends." Penny finally answered.

"Then why won't you have relations with Leonard for me? As a favor?"

"No Sheldon!"

**A/N: See, this is how the episode SHOULD have run! I did have an anonymous review saying that Penny's entries are a little bit vapid. You are right, they are. Give her time is all I'm saying. She is still trying to become the person that she is MEANT to be, not what the writers have turned her into. Just bear with me!**


	12. Chapter 12

_Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Child prodigy. The most brilliant mind in physics. The biggest brainiac in a world of brainacs. He can answer any question. _

_He is also an idiot when it comes to women._

_To be fair though, most men are. He's just more obtuse than most of them. _

_He taught me the meaning of obtuse yesterday. I'm proud of myself for being able to use it AND spell it right! _

_This girl, Ramona is her name, came to see Sheldon. Not Leonard. Sheldon! There was a pain in my stomach when she said that. I refuse to think about what that might mean. Then some sick and twisted part of me made me stay and watch. _

_That made me sound like a creepy stalker. _

_Then this girl starts to take all the fun out of Sheldon...and I didn't even know that was possible. She said that I have a crush on him. I don't! He's Sheldon for crying out loud! Don't-sit-in-my-spot-or-I'll-try-to-blow-you-up-Sheldon! I don't care about him like that. I don't._

_The boys think that he's asexual. He doesn't have a deal. I'm not so sure about that though. Everyone has a deal. Even Sheldon. _

_Whatever his deal is...now THAT is the mystery. I'm pretty sure I broke him though. Screw that, I'm pretty sure I broke me!_

* * *

Penny was excited for reasons that she refused to look at too closely. Once her eyes realized that the package was for Sheldon, she grabbed it without thinking and ran up the stairs. Considering it her second home, and knowing how much Sheldon hated it when she didn't knock, Penny pushed the door open.

"Hey guys, this package came for yo-" What the hell? It took a minute to process what exactly was going on.

Sheldon was in his spot. That was nothing new. That was predictable.

Ramona was pumicing his foot. Oh God, that's gross. Then the girl has the nerve to attempt to shoo Penny out of the apartment. Who was this...this child to tell her she should be the one to leave? Penny thought about deliberately sitting in what she considered her 'spot', but thought better of it.

She quickly shut the door. "Holy crap on a cracker."

"Hey Penny." She barely heard his quiet greeting.

"Hey Leonard." Penny decided to spare him what she saw. "Don't go in there. Sheldon and Ramona are...well, they are doing whatever it is they are doing and you do **not** want to be a part of it."

Leonard looked longingly at his front door. "What are they doing?"

"I'd need multiple therapy lessons and dolls to describe it. Just trust me?" Penny regretted her question the moment Leonard's eyes lit up.

"Of course I trust you." he proclaimed, a beaming smile on his face. She was going to suggest he waited it out at her place, but quickly changed her mind. No need to encourage the boy's crush on her.

"Well, I'm going to head home. I had just stopped by because Sheldon had a package waiting for him and I dropped it off. I'm gonna go clean my eyes out with bleach or something." Very quickly she shut the door behind her.

* * *

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny" She looked up from the monologue she was trying to memorize for Anne Frank.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." Sighing, she put a bookmark in place and headed to the door.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." She opened the door.

"Hello Sheldon." She said, craning her neck to look him in the eye.

"I formally request sanctuary." Sheldon said. There was a panic in his eyes that she didn't like.

"Sheldon, sweetie, what the hell is going on?" Because whatever it was she was putting a stop to it. Immediately.

"It's that Ramona woman. She won't leave me alone. Apparently I am in a relationship. One which I had not knowingly entered into and therefore should be considered null."

A strange pain in her heart made her blink rapidly. It felt like someone was squeezing her chest, trying to see how tight it could get before it snapped. Sub-consciously Penny pulled out her Hello Kitty necklace and started playing with it.

"You are in a relationship with Ramona? You guys are going out?" Penny needed to hear the words from his lips.

"I don't want to be in a relationship with her! She had decided that we are and I cannot get away from her!" He complained, his southern drawl coming out more and more with each word. "Furthermore, I'm fairly certain that her mother **never** had **her** sanity tested because I am more than convinced that she would not have passed the test!" His voice dropped down to a whisper. "Penny, you have to help me. You claimed that we are friends, and friends help each other in times of crises and – Penny, why are you playing with your necklace? Are you aware that when women play with jewelry it can be considered as a nervous twitch because they are uncertain of a foreseeable outcome? It can also imply that someone is in deep thought about something that they consider to be important. Did you know that nervous twitches, or ticks as some call them, can be traced back to..." Sheldon paused as he heard his door open. His wide, frightened eyes met Penny's. He was silently begging her for help.

Penny didn't understand why he was so upset by a little girl who looked like she couldn't pick up a laptop without throwing out her back. But then again, this was Sheldon. Sheldon, who never had to deal with a possessive person. He was the possessive person! Sheldon, who never had a real relationship with a girl before. Sheldon, who went from fifth grade to college in a matter of months. Poor thing had no clue how to deal with Ramona because he was never given the opportunity to learn how.

Making what was most likely one of dumbest decisions in her life, Penny acted quickly. She pulled a startled Sheldon down by his shirt, wrapped her hands around his neck, and kissed him.

Penny kept it chaste, because it was acting. She was playing a part, pretending to stake a claim on him that Ramona couldn't fail to identify.

It was like kissing a stick. The man obviously didn't know what he was doing. She felt kinda bad for springing it on him. Penny guessed that he was in shock, or calculating something about germs, trying to figure out why she did it, and probably something about mouth wash and Lysol.

For her, it easily ranked as one of the best kisses of her life.

Penny pulled away once she heard his door slam shut and footsteps flying down the stairs.

They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke. "Sorry for springing that on ya Moon pie." She told him. "But I didn't have the time to explain."

She took a minute to really look at him. His faced was flushed, but since his skin was so pale she could easily explain that away. It was his eyes that excited and scared her all at once. They were shining like they did whenever he tried to explain Dr. Who to her. Somehow they were also guarded, it was like he absolutely refused to let her see what he was thinking. It wasn't like she could figure out what he was thinking most of time anyway.

"Now you have the time to explain." He informed her in a cold, hard voice. "Why did you invade my personal space and then force your germs upon my person?" Penny couldn't read anything about him, and that worried her.

"Ramona was into you. She really liked you. She probably wanted to do a hell of a lot more than kiss you the way I just did. I just figured that if she saw me staking my claim, she would leave. And I was right. She did leave. I doubt that she will be coming back anytime soon." Penny said. She sounded lame even to herself.

Sheldon just tilted his head to the side and took two slow blinks. "I see. Well then, thank you for assisting me in ridding myself of that infernal woman Penny. I am sorry that you had to do so in a manner that offended you so badly." He told her him the same blank tone of voice that she hated. Before she could stop him and try to explain, Sheldon had already closed the door to his apartment. The sound seemed to echo in the hallway.

Penny closed her own door after a moment and then leaned against it.

Crap on a cracker. She really did break him.

**A\N: I would say that I was sorry about the extra "bad words" in this chapter, but this is how Penny talks in my head. So I blame her. **


	13. Chapter 13

_It all started because I couldn't afford to pay my cable bill. Well, that and no matter how smart my boys think they are, they're all suckers for a scantily clad mid-twenty super model. _

_Even Sheldon. Even if he won't admit it._

_So I get them addicted and we all start watching together. It was kind of nice to be able to have something on my level to connect to them on. Usually they are trying to suck me into Nerd Kingdom. It was nice to share something normal for a change. _

_I took one onion ring. ONE! He had like 50 of them on his plate. But the other guys are throwing minor hissey fits about it so I put it back. I figured that they knew him a lot better than I did so I should listen. _

_Then Dr. Prissy Pants freaks out about it. He threw the whole plate away! I accidentally sit in his spot because I'm trying to calm down mind you, and his brains just about implode. I figured that this had something to do with the whole Ramona thing, so I push back. _

_He banished me from his apartment! What kind of crap is that?!_

_So I try to banish him from the Cheesecake Factory and in turn he gets me in trouble with my manager. Just for the record, I didn't do a damn thing to his precious cheeseburger. I figure mind games are more fun with someone who considers me so beneath him intellectually._

_He blocked the WiFi, which wasn't cool because I was trying to do research for a role in The Illaid. I really should have paid more attention in high school. Using WiFi was in HIS stupid contract that HE insisted we set up! _

_I may have crossed a line by messing with his precious schedule, I admit it. He just makes it SO easy! He crossed the line by throwing all my clothes on a telephone pole. I still don't understand how he did that..._

* * *

Two hours. That's how long it took to get all of her clothes down.

Three. That's how many glasses of wine it took to calm herself down.

Four. That's how many minutes it took to decide that Sheldon wasn't getting away with this.

It was game on. No, it was junior rodeo on. Time to castrate the bull.

What to do was the question. Penny grabbed a random bill and flipped it over to make a list of possibilities. She refused to mess with his work, that was a line that shouldn't be crossed. And the laundry backfired on her. He thought he was smarter than her. Well, he is. But the fact that the cosmos was constantly running through his brain left him distracted.

Penny figured that was why he needed to schedule everything, even what they ate. If everything had a control factor then he didn't need to worry about anything else. Sheldon could feel free to focus on what he deemed important. And that's when it hit her. Ever the actress, Penny gave an evil cackle.

Oh yes, it was on.

* * *

Penny didn't like mornings. She didn't like being forced awake from a restful sleep by a jarring noise. She hated daytime tv, and disliked being sleepy by ten at night. That's when all the fun stuff started.

She forgot all about that this morning.

Penny quickly ran a brush through her hair, grabbed a mug, and headed over to 4A. Without bothering to knock she quickly entered the boy's apartment, muttering about needing caffeine. Sadly, Leonard was the first one she ran into.

"Why are you up so early?" He asked her. The excitement in his voice made her a little bit nervous. She thought that they were through this already. Penny didn't come here to see him, she came to see Sheldon squirm.

"Couldn't sleep. I kept having weird dreams, so I gave up the fight and decided to get some coffee. Do you might if I borrow some?"

Before Leonard could respond Sheldon's voice floated down the hallway. "Borrowing implies the eventual return of the items taken. Since you habitually come over and take shameless advantage of Leonard's unrequited feelings toward you to gain access to free coffee, this could not be considered borrowing. If anything you are pilfering our resources."

Leonard looked back and forth from the hallway to the kitchen several times before attempting to talk. "I don't have unrequited feeling towards you. At all. I mean, we are friends and friends do things for each other..." Penny slowly started to tune Leonard's rambling about. She had more important things to deal with than whether or not she stole coffee from them.

She was busy watching Sheldon. He was finally in the kitchen, in all plaid no less, and was starting to get all of the ingredients needed for his french toast.

Bread, check.

Milk carton, check.

Egg carton, check.

Cinnamon, check.

Butter, check.

Sheldon was so absorbed in getting everything laid out in its proper place that he failed to notice the smirk on Penny's face. Leonard did, and slowly made his exit back to his bedroom. Whatever was going to happen he obviously didn't want to be a part of it.

Sheldon opened the milk carton and started to carefully pour it into his measuring cup. "What?" His milk had curdled. He looked at the expiration date. He had two weeks before his milk was supposed to go bad. Sheldon gave a sharp look at Penny. She had made her way to the chair and was leaning her head back with her eyes closed. She didn't seem to be paying any attention to him.

Sheldon took a deep breath. French toast didn't need milk, he just preferred it to water. He opened the egg carton and cracked an egg. What appeared to be corn syrup came out of it. "Oh good Lord!" Sheldon shouted. Penny's eyes opened. Show time.

"What's wrong Shelly?" She casually asked him. Penny saw his eyes narrow and could practically see his wheels turning in his big brain.

"How?" He asked. No, demanded.

"How what?" Was the innocent response.

"How did you get into my apartment, switch my milk with this catastrophe, and replace my eggs with corn syrup?" Wow. Penny didn't know veins could bulge that noticeably.

"To quote a dear friend of mine, Mwah ha ha." She told him very calmly before heading back to her apartment for a nap.

What she failed to see was Sheldon's face as the door closed. And she didn't hear him mutter "Ok. She asked for it." in a Texas twang.

* * *

Penny was exhausted. She had to work a double at work. There was some sort of perv contest that the customers were having. That was the only explanation for how many hands had been on her ass today. She squeezed in an audition during her lunch break for The Iliad. Penny was pretty sure that she didn't get it. Not being able to study the material would do that to ya. Then she had a date who thought that blonde equaled dumb and easy. It was not a good day. Penny was planning on going home, taking a bath, read a cheesy romance novel, and cuddle in her gran's quilt. It was that thought that got her to her car and up four flight of stairs.

She could tell that something was wrong the minute she went to unlock her door. Both locks were locked. She never did that. Penny just did the deadbolt because anyone could break into the lock on the door knob, but not many people knew how to do the same to a deadbolt. With a sense of dread Penny opened the door.

Nothing was wrong. Nothing was out of place. This day must be harder than she thought. With that thought in mind, Penny headed to her bedroom. And screamed.

Everything was gone. Her bears, her bedding, her Hello Kitty collectables. All of it.

Penny stood still for a minute. "Oh no. Oh no. No no no no no no." She frantically whispered to the room. Penny ran to her small jewelry box and opened the lid. Tears started to fall as she failed to find her Hello Kitty necklace. "Oh god no." Penny ran over to her closet and reached up on her tip toes to the top shelf. Gran's quilt was gone. She didn't understand. Her laptop, tv, radio, all of that was in the living room. She didn't really have anything of value in –

"Sheldon." His name came out like a curse. Without realizing what her body was doing, Penny made her way over to 4A.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper! You get your ass out her right now or so help me I will go into your bedroom!"

"Hi Penny." Leonard said from his chair. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

"Leonard. You are nice and sweet and a good friend. You really are. But I don't have time for you and whatever you think we have right now ok?" Penny snapped at him.

Sheldon appeared in the hallway of their apartment. "You shrieked?" He asked her, one eyebrow going up.

"Where is my stuff Sheldon?" She demanded.

"What stuff? Honestly Penny, how could you find anything in that pigsty that you live in?" What wonderful smug condensation. Penny decided right then and there he would rue this day.

"My Hello Kitty stuff, my bedsheets, my grandmother's quilt! Where is it Sheldon?" When he didn't answer fast enough for her she huffed. "Fine. Be that way." And with that she shouldered past him into his inner sanctum.

"Penny! People can't be in my room!" He yelled at her disappearing form. He entered his room in time to see Penny buried in his closet and almost had a small heart attack.

His things were everywhere. Clothes thrown all over the room, shoes on the bed, towels and sheets tangled up with each other on the floor. "Penny! What are you – stop it!"

"I'll stop when I get my stuff back Sheldon Lee Cooper!" Her scream was muffled through the closet.

"None of your belongings are in my room. And you'll never find them." He informed her with a smug smile on his face. When Penny turned too look at him, his smile vanished. Her face was flushed, dry tear tracks down her cheeks. Her hair was out of it's carefully designed style and was now a tangled mess. "Penny, are you alright? It was just a joke." Sheldon's accent started to seep through with his worry.

Penny looked at him with shock written on her face. How could he possibly think that this was ok? Her quilt and her necklace. The only two things that she had left of the one person in the world who had never let her down. The one person that she could say honestly loved her. The one person who believed in her. "You took my grandmother's quilt and the necklace she gave me. I want them back. I am not playing around Sheldon. They are the only things that I have left of her. Please."

"I didn't know that they belonged to your Meemaw." Ah, there we go, Sheldon just realized that he crossed a line. "Hold on a moment." Penny watched as his form disappeared and then reappeared a minute later. Hope filled her face when she spotted what he was holding. "I propose a truce. A draw if you will. Neither party will has successfully bested the other." He told her as he passed her quilt and necklace over to her.

Penny quickly put the necklace on and lovingly petted her quilt. She didn't even have to think about her answer. "Deal. I think we both went a little bit too far. It's best to stop before we hurt each other."

Sheldon nodded in agreement. "I will collect the rest of your belongings and assist you in returning them to their proper places." What surprised Penny was when he grabbed her hand and helped her up. He willingly touched her. What shocked her was when he completely ignored the mess she made in his room. He just turned and headed out of the room. What nearly killed her was that he held her hand until they entered her apartment.

**A/N: I know, I know. Hurry up and get together already! Jesus, it's worse than the show! All I can say is just give it time. Sheldon will have to eventually become OOC. I know that. But I do want to keep him IN character for awhile because you move at Sheldon's pace or you don't move at all. **

**This chapter did get away from me, I think it's the longest yet. I didn't realize that I had so many unresolved issues with that episode until I wrote it out! **

**And again, no Beta so all issues are my fault.**


	14. Chapter 14

_I really had no clue who the guy was. All I knew was that he was at table 11 and that people kept staring at him. Then he made that hand signal that Sheldon makes all the time, that Star Trek thing. It hits me then, he looks like an older version of Spock! _

_Sheldon is gonna flip when he sees what I got him for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face! It's gonna get past the whole robot outside into the guy inside. I got in trouble from my manager for it, but it was worth it!_

_I'm still not sure what to do about Leonard though. If I get Sheldon something I'm going to have to get Leonard something. It's only fair. I don't want to lead him on though. I don't want him thinking that I like him like that. Leading people on is just plain wrong. I admit, it's a nice ego boost but at the end of the day you are messing with other people's emotions and Granny raised me better than that in spite of my parents. _

* * *

Penny was working and for once things were going right. Three hours into her shift and nothing was wrong. No complaints, no unwanted touches by overzealous creepy old men. It was heaven in mustard yellow.

All in all it Penny thought that it was a quiet day, until she noticed hand signals flying all over throughout the restaurant.

"Hey, what's going on with all the gang symbols Jerry?" Penny asked the bartender. They looked vaguely familiar but she couldn't quite place it. It was starting to really annoy her.

"No clue." He answered her. "There was a shirt at the mall that had a hand like that and under it said live long and prosper though." Trust the gay guy to remember stuff like that. Than it all clicked in her head. Penny shook her head at her own stupidity. She has seen Sheldon do that a million times. It was just weird to see normal people doing something that Sheldon does.

Her eyes scanned the room, searching for the source. "Leonard Nimoy" she whispered to herself. Without thinking about it Penny scurried over to his table. "Mr. Nimoy." She breathed out. "I am so sorry to intrude, I really am. I'm sure that you don't enjoy random people coming up to you, but my friend he practically worships Spock and I know that it was a role done a long time ago and that it shouldn't define you as an actor but Sheldon just really loves that show and if you could please just sign something for him he would love it and he really is one of your biggest fans." Penny managed to say all in one breath. Her nerves made her words run together. What if he said no? What if he was one of those actors who thought that he was too good to talk to someone like her?

"Do you have anything that I could sign?" Oh god, he was gonna sign something for her! Sheldon was gonna flip his lid! Penny rapidly searched her pockets. Damn, she left her order pad at the bar. All she had was a sharpie.

Thinking fast, she grabbed his napkin. "I promise I'll go get you another one. I just don't have anything else handy. His name is Sheldon." Eyes wide, she watched him quickly write a note and sign his name. "Thank you so much! He is gonna love this! I'll go and get you another napkin. I swear I won't bother you again."

As she was headed back to the bar her manager stopped her. "Penny, we need to have a talk. Please come with me." Crap. It's never good when he takes her off the floor to have one of his 'talks'. It didn't matter right now though. What mattered was the napkin tucked into her apron, and the expression that would be on Shel-bot's face when he saw it.

* * *

David Underhill was everything that she wanted. He was smart, he was cute, he had a sense of humor. He liked to drink. He was perfect.

"So what's this?" Penny asked him, the alcohol making her slur her words together slightly. David had been playing bartender at her kitchen counter. It had been a pleasant couple of weeks, David never made her feel like she was too stupid. He didn't talk down to her, but he didn't try to sound superior to her either. It was a nice change to how she was used to physicists acting towards her.

"It's called clothes off." He told her with a smile. "It has a little something of everything." Penny just smiled and took the shot. "You are so beautiful." He told her in a soft voice.

"You're hot." She said with a giggle.

"Can I take your picture? A sexy one. For when I'm alone later?" David asked her with a wink. Even while intoxicated, Penny still had to take a minute to think about it. Men had asked her to do stuff like that before, but she had always said no. There was something about him though.

"Sure! Let me change into something sexier though." Penny scurried into her room and tore through her dresser to look for the perfect outfit.

Afterward, once the pictures were taken and the very unsatisfying sex had happened, Penny started having second thoughts. Something that intimate should only really be done with someone she completely trusted. What if she pissed him off? What if he put it all over the Internet? With that thought in mind Penny waited until David got up to go to the bathroom.

Once she heard the door shut Penny shot off of the bed and went into her living room. She grabbed his phone and started looking through the pictures, deleting them one at a time.

"No more liquor Penny." Confirm delete.

"Man, I need to head to the gym more often. Hello thunder thighs." Confirm delete.

"What the – Well, that's not me." Penny whispered at the phone. Had she really fallen for it again? Or was she the other woman? They had only been going together for about a month. Quickly she checked the date it was taken. "Two weeks ago." That meant that she was dating him when he took those pictures. Tears started to fill her eyes. Yup, she fell for it again. God, Sheldon was right. She was stupid.

"Baby" Penny's head shot up when she heard David's voice. "What are you doing with my phone?"

"I had second thoughts about you having pictures about me and I decided to delete them. While I was going through them I found this one." She told him, waving the phone around. "Would you like to let me know who she is?"

David's face blanched and he didn't say a word. Penny tapped her foot, waiting for an answer.

"I'm waiting." She said into the silence.

"That's my wife." He said so quickly that the words ran together.

Wife. Oh my god, he had a wife. Penny stared at him, truly seeing him. "Get out. No calls, no e-mails, no Facebook. No contact of any kind."

"Baby, don't be like that." He tried to soothe her. He reached for her, but she flew away from him and quickly headed to the front door.

She opened her door. "I will be like that. And I mean every word. If you attempt it in any way I will let your wife know exactly what just happened. That is your only warning you sick fuck." Her tears betrayed her calm voice.

"Whatever." David said under his breath. It didn't take him long to gather his things and leave.

* * *

_Knock knock knock _

"Penny." Her head shot up from the ice cream she was inhaling.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." Really? Cause she really needed another physicist around her right now.

_Knock knock knock._

"Penny." Penny decided in that second to ignore him. She didn't want to see anyone.

She ignored Sheldon's special knock two more times and then ignored the stab of disappointment that hit her when the next knock she heard was Leonard.

He didn't even bother waiting for her to answer before he opened the door.

"Leonard, get out." She demanded.

"What happened? Sheldon said that he came over because he heard you in distress and you never answered him. He's kinda upset. And when he's upset I have to deal with it."

"So he sent you over? And you came over, not to check on me because we are friends, but because you're life is easier when Sheldon is happy?" Are all men like this or is she an idiot magnet?

"No, no no no. I didn't mean it that way. Just talk to me, please?" Penny took a good look at him. He seemed like he was caught between wanting to help her and wanting to run away to the safety of his apartment. Even with an upset Sheldon.

"David Underhill. He is my problem. He's married, did you know that?" Penny looked closely at his face, trying to make sure he was telling the truth.

"He's married...and you guys..." He trailed off.

"God!" Penny exclaimed. "I didn't know he was married when we were together! Do you really think that I'm that kind of person?" She didn't realize until that second how much she valued his and Sheldon's good opinion of her.

"No!" They stared at each other for a minute. "There is really nothing that I can say at this point to make you feel better is there?" Penny just mutely shook her head. "Ok. Well. I'm just gonna head home then and let you be by yourself. But, if you need to talk..."

"I know where to go." Penny let him know.

Later that night, once Penny had eaten an entire container of ice cream and a medium pizza by herself she heard her phone buzz.

"If this is David, I swear I'm not above telling that moron's wife what he's doing." She muttered to herself. It wasn't. It was a text from Sheldon of all people.

_Leonard made me aware of your current circumstance. I am certain that he failed to raise your spirits. Please know that if you need to expel emotions Leonard is ready and available. Rest assured that my opinion of you has not altered in any way. My opinion of the committee for the MacArthur Grant has changed considerably. Enjoy your evening. Sheldon Cooper, PHD._

Penny sniffled a bit before replying.

_Thanx Sheldon. I'll c u 2morrow for xmas!_ She waited for his text telling her how her grammar and spelling was atrocious but it never came. Sadly she turned off her phone for the night.

* * *

"Turn it over." Penny encouraged him, a smile pulling at her lips.

"To Sheldon. Live long and prosper, Leonard Nimoy." She didn't even bother hide her smile now.

"Do you like it?" His excited eyes hit hers and for a second she couldn't breathe.

"Like it? Do I like it? Penny, this is easily one of the top five presents that I have ever received!" Suddenly and without warning, Sheldon grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug. "Thank you so much Penny." He whispered into her ear. Just as quickly he let her go. "Be right back."

"Here you are Leonard." He opened his small envelope quickly.

"A gift card to Amazon! Thank you Penny." He said with genuine warmth.

"I just figured that this way you could get whatever you wanted." Penny said while opening her own similarly shaped envelope.

"Justshoes! Oh, I love that store!" She exclaimed and gave him a slight hug. They both turned when they heard a noise from the hall. "Sheldon! What did you do?"

"I know." He told her with despair. "It's not enough!" Penny gave a huge laugh that made Sheldon frown.

"I love it. Thank you Sheldon." She got up and gave him a tight hug. He was getting better at the whole hugging thing. He only stiffened for a moment or two before relaxing into her touch. Very slowly and very deliberately Penny moved her head and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're a good friend Sheldon. Thank you for everything."

When Sheldon turned and kissed her forehead Penny felt her whole world stop. Sparks flew from where his lips and her skin touched down to her toes. This was what was missing from David, from Leonard, even Kurt. This was what she was looking for since she was fourteen and started to develop breasts and boys started noticing. And it was with Sheldon Cooper.

She broke the hug and looked into his eyes for a moment before pretending that her entire world hadn't shifted off its axis. She was in love with Sheldon. Paranoid, OCD, child prodigy, legit genius, germaphobe, my way or the highway Sheldon Cooper.

Holy shit. She was in trouble.

**A/N: Oh yes Penny. You are in trouble, now go to Sheldon's room! And I'm going rouge now kiddies. I may elude to episodes here or there but not to the extent as before. A lot of people think their relationship changed after the Artic. For me their relationship changed with that one napkin. If she really wanted Leonard she would have given it to him. He's just as into Star Trek. Just saying.**

**Once again, thank you for all of the reviews. It still amazes me that people not only read my stories, but some of you actually like it! Rest assured that even if I don't respond I read them all.**


	15. Chapter 15

_I really have no idea how to handle this. I mean, I've been in love before but not like this. If he was any other guy I would know exactly what to do. Skimpy clothes, suggestive conversations, slow touches. I know all the tricks to attract guys who aren't Sheldon. _

_I have no clue what to do with someone like Sheldon. _

_I've worn close to nothing in front of him and he didn't notice. The other Lost Boys sure did, but not him. I've done slow stretches in front of him, making sure to show a bit of skin. Nothing. I've flirted for all I was worth. Nothing._

_I wish I knew what he was thinking. He'd say something about someone like me not being able to understand the complexities of his wonderful brain if he knew that. Arrogant ass._

_Cute ass._

_Firm looking ass._

_Sexy ass._

_Ok, I'm getting distracted. By Sheldon's ass. Not a bad thing to be distracted by really. _

* * *

Penny woke up that morning with a mission. Mission Get Sheldon's Attention. After her morning coffee she hopped in the shower. As the hot water hit her shoulders she started forming her plan. Sure, he was smart. Well, he was a fucking genius. But he was still a man. Oh Sheldon could deny it all he wanted, but he was a man. Men had needs. Needs that Penny knew how to handle.

Wrapping herself tightly in a towel, Penny headed to her closet with determination.

Step One: Attention grabbing clothes.

Item after item of clothing was held up against her body.

"No, this won't work." Gone was a v-neck t-shirt.

"Doesn't show my legs." Goodbye skinny jeans that no one really like to wear.

"Oh! That's cute! Will go really good with...ah! Cool. It's clean." The perfect man hunting outfit. A tight mini-skirt with a loose sleeved dark green top that was just a little tight around the chest. Penny brushed her hair and pinned it back with the first Penny Blossom that Sheldon ever made. One pair of fuck me heels later and she was ready.

Nervously she headed out of her apartment. Once she crossed the short hallway she took a deep breath.

"This is ridiculous." Penny muttered to herself. "He may be Sheldon, but he is just a man." Without knocking she barged into his apartment.

And stopped dead when three pairs of eyes turned and looked at her.

Shit! Damn, shit, hell, Jesus, fuck! She forgot about the other three. It was Saturday, it was windy outside, they were gonna fight kites like a bunch of kids.

"Well hel-lo gorgeous! Might I say that you are looking perfectly do-able this fine afternoon?" Howard said, sliding up to her.

"Die. Right now." Penny commanded him.

"Penny." Leonard's voice squeaked. "Hi. Um. You, you look nice. Really nice. How's it going?" Raj just quietly waved to her from the kitchen.

"Hey Raj." She greeted him. She had decided to treat him like he was just really shy. Penny hoped that eventually that would lead to him talking to her. "Hi Leonard." She said as friendly as she could without sounding like she was flirting.

"Are you headed out on a date or something?" Leonard asked her. "Because we were going to go kite fighting." He held up his own kite to illustrate. "You're welcome to join us." He asked rather than said.

"You can join with me any time you want." Howard muttered to her.

Penny gave him a sharp look. "Gross Howard." She started thinking fast. Sheldon hasn't said a word, but then again all of his attention was on his laptop at his desk. He hadn't even seen her yet. The other three had though and they noticed that she was dressed differently than when she normally hung out with them. Judging by their faces Penny could tell the outfit was working. It was just working on the wrong people. She wanted to spend the day alone with Sheldon and try to get a read on him without any interference. The other three would just be in her way. And no matter what her new feeling toward Sheldon, she was not gonna spend her one Saturday a month off work watching them fight kites.

"Yeah, no. I do have a date." Penny gestured to her outfit. "So sorry. Maybe next time." She slowly started to back out of the apartment. "So, see you guys later. Maybe for dinner?"

"Is your intention to abuse any past feelings that Leonard may or may not have for you in order to procure a free dinner?" Sheldon asked, his eyes never leaving the screen.

Penny just stared at him while Leonard blushed. "No." Penny informed him. "I like spending time with you guys. You're my friends."

At the mention of the word friend, Sheldon's head shot up and he finally looked at her. "We are friends?" There was astonishment in his voice and Penny didn't like that.

"Yeah Sheldon. We're friends. So I'll see you guys for dinner. Bye!" She said as happily as she could before retreating to her apartment and slipping into her raggedy sweat pants and her oldest shirt.

* * *

Step One had failed. Miserably. Sank like the Titanic. Penny just couldn't figure it out. She thought that she had looked good. And based on how Howard and Leonard were staring at her chest and legs, she was right. Not only had Sheldon not even glanced her way, but he insulted her. He basically said that she was using them for food. That was not the way she wanted him to think about her. When Sheldon thought of Penny, there needed to be all sorts of emotions rolling around in his head. Maybe not love, she doubted that he was ready for that, but caring. At this point she was willing to take affection of pretty much any sort.

All of this lead her to the grocery store to get the correct hot mustard and low sodium soy sauce before collecting the Chinese food. Penny made sure that she got into the longest check out lane she could find before placing the order, stressing Sheldon's diced and not shredded chicken. This way the food would be guaranteed to be hot since the store was just across the street.

"No. This is wrong." Penny stated to the over-worked man behind the counter. "I am certain that I remember saying the chicken needed to be diced and not shredded, and I know that I asked for the brown rice option." She gave the entire bag back. "Please keep these under a warmer while you remake the chicken and broccoli dish."

"Do you have a really picky kid at home?" He asked her, trying to make conversation.

Penny just nodded. "You have no idea how picky."

"See Leonard?" Sheldon stated after seeing that his food was properly prepared and still at the proper temperature. "Penny knows how to do it right. And she is just a waitress."

"That just means she knows how to handle picky customers and get food to the table warm." Leonard muttered. "It's not exactly a science."

Penny gave a sharp glance in his direction before turning her attention back to Sheldon. "Thank you sweetie. I may not have a fancy degree, but at least I know how to make sure an order's right."

"What do you mean by that?" Leonard asked her.

"I would think that someone as smart as you could figure it out." Penny shot back. "After all, all I'm good for is distributing food and making sure it's warm right?"

Dinner, to say the least, was a tense affair. Penny knew that Leonard was still upset about her just wanting to be friends, but she didn't think that he would get mean about it. This wasn't the last time he tried to throw out a sly insult and it wouldn't be the last. She sneaked a glance at Leonard and Sheldon. Leonard could feel it, that much was obvious. Sheldon though, well she couldn't quite tell. At times he looked completely interested in his chicken, but then she saw him throwing glances at Leonard. What the hell? He looked like a cross between a malfunctioning robot and creepy clown. Penny blinked rapidly. Malfunctioning robot? Where the hell did that come from?

Whatever Sheldon was trying to communicate, it seemed to work. As soon as Leonard was done eating he quickly threw away his trash. Muttering something about having a night out and prior engagements on his way out the door. Penny thought she could almost see a dust cloud appear from behind him he ran out so fast.

Which helped make everything fall into her plan.

They were finally alone and due to Sheldon's need to chew every piece of food the recommended thirty times meant Penny was finished eating first.

Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, Penny slowly stood up. Raising her arms up over her head she stretched and made a slight moaning sound of contentment. Her outfit was specifically chosen for this purpose. Low rise jeans plus crop top equals bits of skin showing when her elbows went over her head. Maybe Sheldon wasn't a 'let me see it all' guy. Maybe he was a 'give me a glimpse here or there and let me do the rest' type of guy. Slightly slower than normal, Penny bent to pick up her trash.

Just as she reach the trash can Sheldon spoke up. "You are moving slower than normal. Are you in pain or are you sick? If you are currently afflicted with a virus or infection you must leave at once and not return until you can provide a clean bill of health by a certified doctor."

"What?" Seriously, what the hell? He didn't notice that any of that was a show just for him?

"Are you ill?" Sheldon asked her, speaking loudly and slowly. Penny blinked before shaking her head.

"No. Not sick. I'm gonna head home." Penny said with a mixture of confusion and shock in her voice. How could he have not seen what she was doing?

"Penny!" She quickly stopped at the door and turned to look at him. "Thank you for getting my food order correct." His smile vanished almost as quickly as it showed up on his face. "Goodbye."

"Your welcome sweetie." Penny said softly before quietly closing the door behind her.

**A/N: Anyone else not completely satisfied with the chapter? Yeah, me neither but the more I looked at it the more I made changes that I really shouldn't have and started screwing it up more.**


	16. Chapter 16

_The Arctic. _

_They are going to the fucking Arctic. For three months. In the North Pole. Sorry, magnetic North Pole. Sheldon says there is a difference and at this point I have no proof that he is wrong. _

_All four of them are going. I'm gonna miss Raj and Howard but they don't live right next door. I don't have to get their mail everyday and organize it by who it's for and date received in big manilla envelopes. I don't have to go in and air out their apartment once a week to make sure the air doesn't get stale. I don't have to dust their dolls...I mean collectables. _

_Screw it, they aren't gonna read this. They are grown men who collect dollies. _

_They didn't give me the rest of their milk because I can't be trusted to get my own. Instead of considering that an insult I chose to believe it's Sheldon's way of caring about me. I enjoy my own delusions._

_It's gonna be so weird without him. Them. Without them. All four of them. It's gonna be quiet. _

_I think that it'll give me time to think though. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just a crush, nothing more. I need to re-focus on me and what I want. I need to buckle down on my auditions and work over time for a bit so that I could save up and go on a vacation or something. _

* * *

"I'm sorry, you are going where?" Penny asked.

"I don't know how to make that any easier to understand but alright. Howard, Leonard, Raj, and I are going to the Arctic to try to prove my theory about slow moving monopoles." Sheldon repeated. "We will be gone for three months. Are you able to check our mail, do some light dusting, and air out our apartment once a week?"

Penny blinked rapidly. He was leaving and taking all of her friends with him to the Arctic for three months. What about her? She would be all alone. Her old friends pretty much abandoned her when the whole thing with Kurt went down. She basically only had work friends and her boys.

"Penny?" Sheldon asked gently. "Are you alright?" When Penny nodded, he continued. "Then there is no excuse for you to ignore me. Is your answer yes or no?"

"Sure Sheldon, I'll help you guys out." Penny said in a daze. Why not? It's not like she would have anything else to do with all of her friends at the top of the world without her. Even Howard was going. Howard could barely stand Sheldon on a good day.

Sheldon gave her a rare smile. "Excellent! I'm given to understand that friends do each other favors from time to time, but that you always have the option of saying no." Penny just sighed to herself. Even if Sheldon didn't know it yet, Penny rarely had the ability to tell Sheldon no anymore. "I will have a checklist of your duties while we are gone. I do love making lists." Penny had to laugh at the excitement in his voice. He was never happier than when he was organizing something.

* * *

Penny made her way over to 4A for her last night with her nerds. She had ordered and paid for pizza night, and since it was her pick for movie night she decided to let them watch Star Wars A New Hope instead of her original pick. She knew it was Sheldon's favorite out of the series and didn't want any fighting on their last night.

She opened the door, food in hand. "Pizza time boys!" Leonard scurried over to help her with the boxes and placed them on the table. Penny almost tripped getting in the door.

"My apologies precious flower." Howard said as he got up and moved his suitcases over. "Do you need me to kiss anything and make it better?"

Penny stared blankly at him for a moment before responding. "Sure Howard." She heard two gasps and saw Howard's eyes bug out.

"Really?" He squeaked.

"Of course not." She told him. She glided across the room and settled in her 'spot' on the middle cushion. She was gonna miss this.

Sheldon leaned in her direction and softly whispered in her ear, "Excellent bazinga." Straightening back into his seat Sheldon spoke up louder, "What movie have you chosen to annoy me with tonight? I refuse to be assaulted with another so called 'chick-flick'. One viewing of The Lake House was sufficient thank you very much."

"Hey!" Penny said. "That was a good movie! It's not my fault that you refused to just enjoy it and instead decided to poke sciency holes in it. We are gonna watch what I want because it's my turn. And I chose a movie with romance so suck it up. It's kinda like a gigantic soap opera really, except no singing. There is a little bit of action though so you shouldn't be too bored."

"And what is the title of this travesty of cinema?" Sheldon asked her as he raised his eyebrow.

Penny gave him an evil smile before she answered, "Oh, I'm so glad that you asked it like that!" Without saying another word she silently opened up the dvd, making sure to hide the cover from the boys. She had rented it so that it would be a complete surprise. Once she loaded the dvd player she sat back and stared at her friends, waiting to see their reactions to her pick. They were going to disappear for three months, the least she could do was watch a stupid sci-fi movie.

"A New Hope." Came the awed whisper from Leonard and Sheldon once they heard the opening music. Raj was staring at Penny then at Sheldon, a secret smile on his face. Howard was busy grumbling about how George Lucas completely destroyed the integrity of the film with the 1997 re-release. Penny leaned back and let the music take her over. It was a pretty good soundtrack.

* * *

_Penny was running down a hallway. She couldn't figure out where she was, only that she had to reach them before they destroyed each other. A Jedi may be cool, calm, and collected but a Sith lord was rash and didn't think things through._

_She was running to the ship now and had no idea how she got there. Raj and Howard were already on board and were yelling at her to hurry. The enemy was everywhere and they knew she was there. Just as she was about to board the ship she saw them. Good and evil personified. _

"_If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine." said the taller man as he lowered his hood._

_Suddenly and without warning Darth Vader used his light saber to cut his opponent down. Penny gave out an unholy scream and ran to the fallen man. _

"_Oh my god. Oh my god. Sheldon, no please. Sheldon, come back to me! Sheldon!" She yelled at him as she ran her hands over his body, trying to find signs of life. She looked up with anger in her eyes and stared. At Leonard?_

"_Did I do good Penny? Wanna go out for dinner?"_

"No!" Penny screamed with a jolt. She looked around and saw her boys looking at her with various degrees of concern. "Sorry. Bad dream." She waved her hand in the air to dismiss the whole thing.

"Penny." Sheldon began in his normal condensing voice. "You chose this movie as the evening's entertainment yet you fell asleep. How could anyone fall asleep while the rebel alliance is attacking the Death Star is beyond me." He gave her a funny look and pulled his shirt up over his nose and mouth. "Are you ill?"

Penny heaved a sigh. "No, I'm not sick. Just tired is all but I wanted to spend time with you guys before you left." She blinked quickly to keep the tears out of her eyes. "I'm gonna miss you guys." She stood up and gave Raj a tight hug. "I hope there aren't any girls around Raj. You might get in trouble." Howard got what could barely be considered physical contact, "I'm even gonna miss you. Not your odd and slightly creepy way of flirting, but I will miss you." She walked over to Leonard who was what could only be described as twitching in excitement. "Be safe Leonard." When she tried to pull back from his hug he held on tighter and tried to give her a kiss on the lips. "Leonard. Please don't ruin this." Penny said as she avoided lip on lip contact.

Sheldon was looking at her like a deer in the headlights. She walked right up to him and pulled him out of his spot. "You're not getting out of this Moonpie. Non-optional social convention." She told him before pulling him into a right embrace. "I'm gonna miss you Sheldon. Stay safe" She dropped her voice to a whisper so only he could hear her. "Please come back to me in one piece."

His only answer was to lightly kiss her on the forehead.

* * *

Loud noises from the hallway woke Penny up. Groaning she rolled over to look at her cell phone. 4:51 am. "What the hell?" She asked her phone. She pulled on her robe and headed out of her bedroom.

Once she opened her front door she remembered. Her friends were leaving her for the Arctic.

Sheldon and Howard were already fighting, something about plane statistics. Penny tuned out once she heard Sheldon utter the word percentages.

"You guys outta here?" She asked them. Sheldon turned to her and nodded. When he turned his attention back to Howard he found the the shorter man had already left. He had seen his escape route and took it.

"Did we disturb your REM cycle?" Sheldon asked her.

"Kinda." _I didn't mind though_. "You guys be careful ok? And e-mail me and stuff whenever you can."_ Please don't forget about me_.

"When time permits I will make sure to contact you if only to ensure that my apartment hasn't exploded." Penny rolled her eyes at him. "Oh! I almost forgot. Stay right here." Sheldon ordered her.

Penny stood fidgeting in the hallway until Sheldon got back. "This is for you."

"Milk?" What the hell?

"We will not be here for you to pilfer our supplies nor will I be able to consume half of a gallon of milk before we board the plane. You are welcome to it. Be aware that it will not last for the three months of our expedition, so be sure you buy some for yourself." He checked his watch. "I must be going. The Pasadena airport suggests arriving two to three hours before the scheduled departure time. Live long and prosper." As Sheldon turned to leave Penny grabbed his arm.

"Wait." She whispered. Slowly, so he could see what she was doing, she pulled him in for a hug. "I'm gonna miss you most of all Scarecrow." She pulled back to stare at him.

"I believe that I shall notice your absence in my daily routine as well Penny. And don't call me Scarecrow. If anything I am the Wizard." She gave him a slight kiss on the cheek and smiled when he blushed.

"So you hide behind the curtain and put out a false image of yourself?" Sheldon gave her another kiss on her forehead before responding.

"Something to that effect."

This was it. This was the moment. She wasn't gonna let him go into the cold for three months without something to remember her by. Penny leaned up and as Sheldon leaned down she gently pressed her lips to his. She felt his entire body shudder and let him pull her closer. Her hands went through his hair to pull him down further, closer to her. She gave out a slight moan as she felt Sheldon settle his hands on her hips. Penny opened her mouth, begging for more without saying the words. She felt Sheldon's body jerk backwards and he ended the kiss. They stared at each other, shock on bother their faces.

Sheldon pushed away just before Penny heard Leonard's voice echo through the stairwell. "Sheldon, you are the one who insisted we leave this early, what is taking you so long?" Leonard took in Penny and Sheldon's faces, the proximity of their bodies. "You wanna catch me up?" He asked the taller man through clenched teeth.

"No. We don't. Not really." Penny answered for him. "You guys have a safe trip, let me know when you get there if you can. I'm going back to bed." She turned and went back into her apartment, leaned against the door, and counted to five.

Sure enough, she heard Leonard doing what could only be described as scolding Sheldon. But what for? It better not be over what just happened. She didn't kiss him and he didn't kiss her. They kissed each other, as equals. Leonard had no business at all being upset with either one of them.

Penny grabbed her favorite Hello Kitty doll before settle back into bed. She'd rather be snuggling with a six foot tall blue eyed genius, but Hello Kitty would have to do for now.

**A\N: If you couldn't find the Star Wars quote you should be slightly ashamed of yourself. Bonus points if you saw the Wizard Of Oz reference. **

**Hope you guys enjoyed the kiss at the end, it was far easier to write than I thought. I've hinted at stuff like that before but never whole out writing it. Hope it didn't disappoint.**

**This chapter and one that will be coming up soon are the ones that inspired this story. **


	17. Chapter 17

_A week. It took a fucking week for Sheldon to contact me and all he wants to know is if I'm doing what I said I would do. Every time I tried to change the subject he would just keep going back to it. I'm pretty sure that he wants to pretend that we didn't kiss. Maybe he thinks it was a mistake. Maybe he didn't feel what I felt. Maybe he's a crazy nut job who wouldn't recognize chemistry if it hit him on the head with a baseball bat and then painted him green._

_I just gotta get over this is all. It was just a crush. All that means is that I had an intense but fleeting emotional attachment and now it's done. It's over. I'm fine. It's just Sheldon after all. _

_Leonard on the other hand... If he's not on Skype with me then he's e-mailing me. Sometimes two or three page long e-mails a day. They are all filled with how much he misses me and wishes I could see what he saw today, and how Sheldon is acting harsher than normal. It's the same thing...every time._

* * *

Penny had just walked through her front door after spending the afternoon in 4A. The windows had been open halfway for four hours with Penny present to keep out marauders. Their mail had been put in separate manila envelopes and then placed in files on their desks. It was stupid, but she loved being over there more than her own place. There was something about the space, even quiet and empty, that made her feel at home.

As she was getting ready for dinner she heard her laptop ding. She stared at it for a minute, Penny had never heard it make that sound before. Curious, she opened it and hit the flashing icon.

"Sheldon." She breathed. After getting an e-mail saying that they arrived safely, she hadn't heard from any of them.

"Salutations Penny. I am given to understand that at this point in our conversation I should ask you about your general health. How are you?"

"I'm ok. Working some extra hours. Just got back from airing out your apartment. What about you guys? Are you finding what you are looking for?" Penny stared at the screen, her fingers twitching with the need to touch him.

"Although the results so far are disheartening, I have every confidence that we shall succeed. Did you air out our apartment for the recommended four hours?" Sheldon asked her.

"Yes Sheldon. So tell me about the North Pole? See Santa Clause yet?" Penny joked.

"Penny." Ah boy, here we go. "We are at the magnetic North Pole. If Santa Clause as you know him ever existed, he most certainly would never be here. Are you remembering to collect our mail everyday and place it in the correct envelope and folder?"

"Yes Sheldon. How are things up there? You see any bears or anything yet?"

"Penny. The purpose of this expedition is not to find polar bears. It is to seek out slow-moving monopoles. I do not have the time to go hunting for animals just to satisfy you. Are you lightly dusting our collectibles?"

"Yes Sheldon." Penny wanted to ask what his problem was. She wanted to ask why he refused to really talk to her. She wanted to know why she felt the emotional tension all the way on the other side of the world.

She also knew that he would never tell her. At least not when everyone else could hear them.

"Penny, please hold for a moment." And Sheldon disappears from view.

"Hi Penny! How are things where it's warm?" Leonard asked her, a smile plastered on his face. "I miss you."

"Hi Leonard. Everything is fine. Just got back from airing out your apartment. I've worked a lot, doing some extra shifts and stuff." She gave him a big friendly smile. "I miss you guys too. Only a week down." Loud arguing suddenly flooded her speakers and she gave a slight frown. "Are you guys fighting already?"

Leonard looked embarrassed. "Not anymore than normal. I have to go, the window for our experiment is about to open. I'll e-mail you later?"

"One more thing. Who put Skype on my laptop?" Penny questioned him.

"No clue. Wasn't me. Gotta go!" With that Leonard logged off. Penny stared at the screen for a minute, then closed her laptop and went back to making her instant noodles.

* * *

_To: shiny_penny_00 _

_From: lhofstadter _

_Subject: Just checking in!_

_Hi Penny! It's been a couple of days so I thought that I would just check in. Howard gave me a very long pick up line to tell you involving snow, but I forgot most of it. I'm just gonna pretend that he said hi. Raj says that he hopes you are warmer than we are. He thinks that he is suffering more because his "ethnicity isn't designed for cold climates." Sheldon's from Texas and he's not complaining. Well, he's not complaining about the temperature at least._

_It's kinda boring here in-between experiments. The thrill of snow wears off after a while. Raj was really excited about a solar eclipse that happened a couple of days ago. I did find it interesting, but he stayed out all day looking at it. That's astrophysicists for you! _

_Howard is already talking about going home early. Sheldon is starting to get to him I think. _

_Sheldon wanted me to remind you about "your contractually obligated responsibilities." _

_I miss you so much,_

_Leonard._

_To: lhofstadter _

_From: shiny_penny_00 _

_Subject: Hey_

_Let me just say that if Sheldon has anything that he wants to remind me of he has my e-mail. And somebody put Skype on my laptop. I still wanna know who did that by the way. Could you ask the guys for me?_

_I am taking care of your apartment, no worries there. BUT, you don't have to tell Sheldon if you wanna make him sweat a bit! :P_

_Whatever comment Howard made I'm pretty glad that you didn't remember it. I have a feeling I would have been disgusted no matter what. I love the boy, but he needs a filter on him or something!_

_Gotta go, I have an audition and then work later on tonight. Had to take the night shift so that I could make the audition. Gonna try for 'attractive girl playing video game'. A real stretch right? Lol_

_Love to ALL of you,_

_Penny._

_To: shiny_penny_00 _

_From: scooper _

_Subject: Video Game Playing Tips._

_If this e-mail reaches you before your audition, please keep these facts in mind for a successful audition._

_Unless you are pretending to play on a motion-activated console, moving around is unnecessary._

_If you are pretending to play a motion-activated console, moving energetically is a plus._

_Some games require concentration, while others are made for 'brain training' hokum. Still others are adventure games, or mindless drivel. Plan your facial expressions accordingly._

_I will not wish you good luck because it is hokum. I will however say break a leg. I believe this is what actors say to each other. I believe that I am getting quite proficient in the lingo._

_I put Skype on your laptop. _

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Sheldon Cooper._

Penny looked up from her phone right before her name was called. She was in a genuinely good mood now. He actually wrote back to her, and he wrote tips on how to play video games. For someone who probably didn't know how to act around someone who he just kissed, Sheldon was doing pretty good. Sure, he ignored her for a bit. She didn't forget that. But he was all the way across the world. He was trying, that's all that mattered.

But why did he put Skype on her laptop?


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: There is a longer note at the bottom but I wanted to warn you guys that parts of this chapter may or may not push the 'T' rating depending on how sensitive you may or may not be to sexy fun time.**

* * *

_One month down, with two to go!_

_The guys will be home in two months and I just can't wait. I'm even starting to miss Howard's pants. _

_His pants._

_Good lord, I must be going crazy._

_They try to keep me in the loop. We Skype once a week, and I get lots of e-mails from them. Howard's always starts with 'shall I compare thee to' and then he puts in some horrible innuendo about snow or icebergs. Some of them are funny, but I'm never gonna admit it! Raj is sweet. He's always sending me picture of the guys doing stuff. Once I got a real up close picture of a polar bear. Scared the crap outta me until he told me that he used zoom. Don't know if I believe it or not, but for my sanity I'm going to just go with it. Leonard though. Oh that poor sweet little man. He e-mails me every chance he gets. Always starts with how much he misses me and then tidbits about what they are doing. I haven't told him to stop with the constant e-mails just because it's the only way I hear about Sheldon._

_He is always there when the guys and I Skype. He looks thin and tired. I mean, he was never a heavy guy, but now he looks like Skeletor. He doesn't really talk much, but I can feel his eyes on me. He only sent me one e-mail too. Something is going on here. He has to be having second thoughts about us kissing, that's all there is to it. _

_Fine. Be that way. See if I care. I am young and attractive and smart. Well I'm normal smart, not freaky smart like they are. I could have any guy I wanted! _

_Any guy that isn't named Sheldon. _

_No. I'm not gonna do this to myself. I'm gonna get back out there, date a bit. I need to expand my social circle again. Time for PARTY PENNY!_

* * *

Penny sat down at her kitchen table and smiled at the sight before her. Her arctic team were all crammed into the screen, Sheldon keeping his distance in the back.

"Hi guys! Wow, you all look so different!" She exclaimed to them with a laugh.

Raj actually looked pretty normal, except for the longer hair. Howard was no longer wearing his over the top and too tight clothes. He had traded them in for sweats and a jacket. Leonard looked like he had gained weight, but in a good way. It looked like his body grew into itself. Sheldon was the big shock. It seemed to Penny that all of the weight that Leonard had put on came directly from Sheldon's body. She could almost see his collar bone jutting out. It was playing hide and go seek with his shirt collar, but it was still noticeable. "How's it going up there? Find what your looking for yet?"

She was excited to see Sheldon open his mouth to answer her, but Leonard cut him off. "We are trying and are starting to see some results. You look really nice."

"Nice to see that the girls are alive and well." Howard interjecting.

"How far away, and you still manage to gross me out Howard. Nice." Penny said to the screen. "And thanks Leonard. Actually I have a date tonight." She tried to ignore Sheldon when she said it. It felt like cheating, even though it was just one kiss.

"Oh." She couldn't identify who said it, but she would be willing to place her last dime on it being either Leonard or Sheldon. Leonard looked like a combination of shocked and hurt while Sheldon looked like...

Well, he looked like Sheldon. Like he had better things to do or think about than Penny. She clenched her teeth in anger.

"Gotta go guys. I'm gonna be late if I don't get moving. One month down and two to go! Miss all of you!" Quickly she exited out of the screen and closed down her computer. Penny closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's fine. Everything is fine. This was what you wanted, remember? You wanted to know how he felt. He doesn't talk to you, doesn't e-mail you. Nothing. Now, go out and have fun or die trying!" Feeling silly for talking to herself like that, she quickly grabbed her purse and headed out for a night of drunken fun.

* * *

Penny pulled up to the club and ignored the slight cough her car made. She killed the engine and took in the sight before her. A long line of wanna be starlets graced the front of her favorite club. They all looked like little carbon copies of each other: short skirts, shirts that showed way to much cleavage, hair either straight down or given manufactured curls. The only difference was the hair color and how big their heels were. Penny was no exception. She looked like a clone of a clone of a knock off. She still got out of her car and changed from her flats to her five inch heels. A slightly southern voice in her head was telling her that she was better than this, but she tuned it out when she saw her date.

Jason was everything that she was attracted to since she was sixteen. He was at least six-foot, with short dark hair. He wasn't skinny, but he wasn't too fat. Penny took a hard look at him as he headed towards her, she couldn't see any fat at all really. He was all muscle. It was slightly intimidating when she stared at him for too long.

"Hey babe. You ready?" He asked her. Without responding Penny hooked her arm in his and they headed into the club.

The club was loud, too loud. Again a southern voice whispered in her head the dangers of loud music and how it connects to going deaf young. Of course, the word were bigger, but that was the gist of it.

Ignoring that voice, Penny made a sharp turn to the bar. If Jason had been any less sturdy he would have stumbled against her.

"Whiskey sour please." She requested. At home wine may be her drink of choice to relax, but she wasn't planning on relaxing tonight. She was planning on getting fucked up, hence the whiskey.

Again she heard voice telling her that while she would be having fun now, her body would not be thanking her in the morning. She drowned that voice out with two more drinks, shot back in rapid succession.

Now that her inner voice was muffled to a faint whisper, Penny began to relax. She begged Jason to join her on the dance floor, and let the pounding music wipe her mind blank. While he couldn't really dance, Jason could find a rhythm using Penny as a guide. The trips to the bar had started few and far between until that little voice in Penny's head started getting louder again. Then it seemed almost every other song was spent straddling a bar stool waiting for the bartender's attention to turn to her.

The drunker Penny got, the more liberties Jason was allowed. The dancing got more sensual, more sexual by the drink. A combination of liquor, hormones, and long suppressed desires flooded Penny's body.

"You wanna get outta here baby?" She whispered into his ear. Jason gave her a smirk and nodded. "My place?" She asked him.

"Let's get a cab and get outta here!" He yelled back at her, grinding his hips into her lower back.

A cab was quickly hailed and they drunkenly climbed inside. Light kisses were given and sensual touches were received. It all only seemed to heighten the experience for Penny. It may not have felt right, but it felt good. It felt familiar. This was something that she knew she was good at and it was nice to be with someone who could appreciate this side of her.

They stumbled up the stairs, pausing every once in awhile to kiss and caress each other.

Penny fumbled with her keys, trying to unlock her door with drunken co-ordination. She giggled as she felt Jason push his body flush against her back. She could feel his excitement resting right above her ass. A male hand grabbed the door knob and turned quickly when Penny had trouble remembering how to use a door knob. The door was quickly shut and she was pressed against it.

It felt too controlling, it felt claustrophobic. It was wrong. She pushed him away and maneuvered him to fall on the couch. Penny crawled on top on him, giving slow kisses up his body.

She closed her eyes and let her drunken imagination take over. The man underneath her grew seven inches and lost some muscle. His hair got shorter and darker, his hands larger. Drunken miscalculation was mistaken for innocent inexperience.

His lips hit a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. "Sheldon." She whimpered. His hands slowed down as if confused, but they didn't stop randomly finding the right spot to stroke or rub. She groaned. "Oh, Sheldon." The kissing immediately stopped and hands disappeared. "Sheldon!" Penny whined. "Don't stop. Don't tease me love!"

"My name is Jason." Came the whispered response. "Can you say Jason?" Penny's eyes shot open, her dream shattered. "I know that it doesn't sound like Sheldon, but it's not that hard of a name." He was angry, very angry. Penny understood that. Guilt swept in and shame quickly followed.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered to him.

He gave her a look of part sympathy and part anger. "I'm nobody's replacement babe. I'm gonna head out, I don't like hearing other guy's names being called out when I'm the one doing all the work." Jason slowly pushed her off of him and stood up. Without another word, he left.

Penny curled up on herself and cried silently.

* * *

Sunday, air out the apartment day.

A very hung over Penny crawled out of bed in her sweats and headed over to 4A, a hot cup of coffee in hand. She let herself in and was amazed at how quickly the guilt of last night left her. It was replaced with comfort, and with a long forgotten sensation that she could never completely identify.

She opened up the windows and took great pleasure in sitting in Sheldon's spot. She slowly sipped at her coffee, glancing around at the empty apartment. It wasn't the cleanliness that bothered her. Sheldon was too compulsive to allow anything other than perfect order.

It was the quiet.

There was always noise in this apartment. She could still hear Raj singing to Rock Band, hear the excitement in Howard's voice when he talked about his work. She could even hear Leonard asking her about her day and pretending to care about the answer.

Most of all she could hear Sheldon. At first Penny was pretty sure that Sheldon just enjoyed the sound of his own voice. Then she thought that he liked being a know-it-all. Now she realized that there was just too much going on in his head. He had to let it out.

With all of them gone it was like a physical blow to her. Feeling the need to get rid of the silence Penny wandered over to the dvd selection. As always it was in pristine condition. The first day she was here and feeling mischievous, she put all of the dvds in a random order. Imagining the look on Sheldon's face, she quickly changed her mind. They were all back in alphabetical order, exactly as Sheldon had them. She picked a tv series at random curled up on Sheldon's spot to watch. Penny laughed out loud when she realized what it was. It was one of the same dvds that Sheldon had tried to interest her in so long ago.

She spent her Sunday off relaxing in Sheldon's spot, eating popcorn and drinking Mountain Dew, completely enchanted with Dr. Who.

**A/N: Did you guys know that I am over 100 reviews for this story? I couldn't believe it. I had to double check it and then I screamed like a little girl. Thank you so much for enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it! I am in awe. I am never speechless, but you guys almost got me there. **

**Thank you so much for your continued interest in this story!**


	19. Chapter 19

_So here I am, minding my business..._

_All good stories start with that, don't you think?_

_Anyway I was at home, watching Dr. Who when I heard the noise. Loud crashing noises coming from the boys' apartment. They aren't due back for another couple of weeks, so it kinda scared me._

_I throw off my quilt and grab my justifier and the spare key and run over there. I'll be damned if someone was gonna steal from that apartment._

_I still can't really process what I saw._

_The house was a mess, it was completely destroyed. Kinda reminded me of what I did to Kurt. There are more crashing and breaking noises coming from the back. _

_From Sheldon's room. _

_And there he was, all five pounds of him. I mean, I thought that he looked bad online. He is proof that the camera adds weight. _

_I have never seen him like that. Emotional I mean. _

_I was scared. I never want to see him like that again. _

_I finally get him to calm down. I give him a hug (hey, I'm a physical person) and he blows up again. Demands that I leave. I didn't know what else to do...so I left._

_But when I pick up the boys on Friday...someone better tell me what happened up there or I'm gonna make Junior Rodeo look like happy fucking fun time!_

* * *

It was a blessed, beautiful Thursday afternoon. That's mainly because Penny was off work two days in a row. It was a rarity and she was gonna spend her Thursday and Friday the way she saw fit.

She was gonna spend in on a Dr. Who marathon.

At first, the show was just a way to not feel so alone. It was a way to feel connected to her friends who were so far away. Then it became something more. She started to see why they liked it so much.

She didn't like it enough to get up before Jesus on a Saturday to see an episode that she could find on Netflix, but she does enjoy it. The doctor wasn't bad to look at either.

She was curled up on her couch, hot coffee cupped in her cool hands, her grandmother's quilt wrapped around her shoulders the edges meeting at her stomach.

"Well son of a bitch." She whispered to herself when Rose appeared. "Aren't you supposed to be in another universe?" At first Penny liked Rose, but by the end she just wanted Rose to go away and stay there. Something about her got very annoying very quickly.

She was so wrapped up in the show that at first she didn't hear it, then she thought that it was part of the program. The more she focused on it, the louder it got until she had to pause the dvd to figure out where it was coming from.

"Oh my god..." Penny flew off the couch and ran into her bedroom. She reached under her bed and grabbed her baseball bat. It was solid wood and she called it her justifier. She griped it comfortingly and headed over to 4A. She ripped open the front door, ready to face anything.

Except this.

If only Sheldon could see this.

Penny slowly entered the apartment, taking a good look around. Cupboards were open in the kitchen, at a glance she could see some mugs had fallen out and crashed on the floor; a million ceramic shards littered the floor. Sheldon's prized possession, a Batman cookie jar given to him by Leonard, was no longer in it's place. It looked like it had been smashed up against the wall.

The living room was even worse. Posters were torn of the wall, ripped into unrecognizable shreds. Some books were off their assigned shelves, the pages torn out and tossed about the floor while others were still on the shelf. Books were one of Sheldon's favorite thing the world because knowledge was a precious thing. She had heard him say it enough times that when she thought it she instantly thought of Sheldon smiling like a little kid and holding six or seven new books, lightly caressing the uncracked spines.

Penny turned her head away from it. She didn't want to think about what he would do or say when she told him about this. As she turned to look away two things attracted her attention.

The first was the video games. There were several X-Box and PlayStation games that were cracked in half. What really caught her attention was the older games, the ones that were still in cartridges and weren't on discs yet. They looked like they had been forcefully pried open. Penny bent down to take a closer look and noticed that they were all Sheldon's games. Leonard's were still safely tucked in on his side of the shelf completely untouched.

The second was the blood. There was a trail of it from the living room where the games were to the kitchen and down the hallway.

Another crashing sound made Penny turn her head sharply towards the hallway.

She tightened her grip on her bat and quietly walked towards the sound. She paused right at the end of the hallway, thinking. Something wasn't right. The tv was still there, the systems were still there. Various collectables that even Penny knew were valuable (thank you Antiques Roadshow) were still sitting on their assigned spots. Then it hit her.

Only Sheldon's stuff was damaged. From what she could tell, none of it was missing. It was all broken, damaged beyond repair. Whoever did this had a target in mind and that target was Sheldon.

Considering how he tended to treat people, it wasn't very surprising. Penny had been on the wrong end of Sheldon's lectures and condensation too many times to consider this a coincidence.

Another crashing sound broke her out of her thoughts. Preparing herself mentally for whatever she might find in there, Penny slowly opened the bedroom door.

She doubted any mental pep talk could have prepared her for the sight in front of her.

* * *

A thin, skeleton version of Sheldon was ripping his room apart. Bit by bit, he was breaking everything. Penny stared at him and then at his bedroom. He wasn't breaking everything. Not really. It was just the mess that was throwing her off. Penny took another look around, occasionally glancing at Sheldon to make sure he didn't notice her. Some things were left alone while others were destroyed. There had to be a pattern, Sheldon never did anything without a reason. Most of the time the reasons made no sense to her but he always understood them.

Sheldon turned around and finally noticed her. Penny did not like what she saw. His shirts were hanging off of his body easily looking two or three sizes too big. She could easily make out his cheekbones, deep dark circles surrounded his eyes. The collarbone that played peek-a-boo with her on Skype was even more prominent. Penny took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"Sheldon?" She barely whispered.

Sheldon tilted his head and seemed to stare right through her. It was almost as if he didn't recognize her, didn't think that she was real. "Penny." He said her name as if he barely remembered it. Abruptly he turned back to his room.

Penny lunged forward and turned him to face her. Her hands slid down his shoulders to his hands and she gave a muted sob. Those hands, those beautiful hands that she had dreamed about in innocent and not so innocent ways, they were no longer smooth and unmarked. There were open and barely closed cuts all over his hands, dried blood covered his fingers. Penny stared up at him, concern and fear fighting each other on her face. On Sheldon's face there was...

Nothing.

It was different than when he tried to close himself off when teasing got too out of hand, different than when he was trying to get himself under control.

It was as if he wasn't even there.

Penny quickly looked away from Sheldon's face and stared at their joined hands. "Sheldon, what are you doing?"

"Penny." Was the only word that came from his mouth.

She guided him to his bed so that he could sit. Absent absentmindedly she noted that the bed was perfectly made. Once she was satisfied that Sheldon wasn't going anywhere she ran to the kitchen and filled a bowl with warm water. A quick stop at the bathroom to grab a first aid kit and she was back in his bedroom.

Sheldon hadn't moved an inch from where she put him.

If Sheldon was in his right mind, he would have been proud of the way Penny quickly and efficiently cleaned his hands. Once she was done and set all of her supplies to the side she kneeling on the floor directly in front of Sheldon.

"So, do you want to tell me why you are destroying your apartment? Or do you wanna keep it to yourself for awhile?" When he didn't answer quick enough for Penny she added, "It's ok if you don't wanna talk about it yet, there are a lot of things about my life that you don't know."

It was almost too quick to notice, and if Penny wasn't paying attention she would have missed it entirely, but it was there. A small flick of his eyes, a familiar look that only lasted a second. A look that said he instantly wanted to know because Sheldon can't stand not knowing something.

Penny saw this opening and took it. She rocked back on her heels slightly, making sure that she was still touching him, "For instance, I know how to make waffles from scratch. And brownies. My grams taught me how when I was a kid. I know how to hunt because my dad took me whenever he hunted deer. I can put a tractor together by myself." She paused, trying to think of more things that he didn't know about her. "I believe in a higher power, although I'm not sure if you could call it being religious."

"Religion is pure hokum." Penny inwardly smiled. She was doing it, she was pulling him out of his head.

"I dare you to tell your mom that." She told him with a smile.

Sheldon gave his gaspy laugh, "I'm not suicidal." He glanced around his room. "Contrary to the evidence. I am sorry if I worried you, that was not my intention."

"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" Sheldon just shrugged in response. Penny tried another tack, "Why are you back so early? I'm supposed to pick you guys up from the airport in Friday. Where's Leonard?" Sheldon had stiffened up at the mention of the other guys, but the second the name Leonard came across Penny's lips he flew away from her.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said in a flat, monotone voice.

Penny nodded her head in agreement. Whatever the problem was, he needed to calm down before talking about it. He looked so lonely standing there, so sad, that her first instinct was to comfort him.

She was so used to him allowing her touch, used to being one of the privileged few, that she almost cried when he flew away from her.

"No. Stay away from me." He commanded her in a sharp whisper.

"Sheldon, sweetie what's..."

"And don't call me sweetie!" He yelled, interrupting her. "Why don't you just run along and Skype Leonard and tell him how much you missed him and when he gets home how the two of you are gonna grace the world with your kids! You don't care for me! You never did, it was just a way to get what you want!" Southern Sheldon was out to play and for once it didn't make Penny's knees feel wobbly. Instead she just stood there in shock, tears running unchecked down her face.

"Sheldon, you know that's not true." She told him as calmly as she could, the need to make him feel better over-riding the need to scream back.

There's a first time for everything.

"Just go. Leave me alone." When Penny didn't immediately leave he added, "I don't want you here."

Penny gave him a small nod and left.

Once she hit her apartment she ran straight to her bed and allowed the cries to escape her.

Her self pity didn't last long though, it was broken by the ding of her laptop. Someone wanted to talk to her and she knew who it would be, so Penny ignored it. She didn't want to talk to them right now because whatever was wrong with Sheldon had something to do with Leonard. She couldn't talk to him right now, she didn't have a plan. She would wait until Friday and talk to all of them in person. Something happened up there to do this to Sheldon and she was gonna find out if it meant sending Raj to the hospital with alcohol poisoning.

**A/N: I have a sad, sick, twisted obsession with people who never get angry and then suddenly explode. Just ask my husband. He's that kinda guy.**


	20. Chapter 20

_The boys tried to contact me a couple more times, probably to see what I know. _

_I didn't tell them anything, mainly cause I had no clue what was going on. Sheldon wouldn't let me in the apartment, he wouldn't answer my texts or my e-mails. It was like he had disappeared off the face of the earth. I never even heard any noise over there. _

_I sent the other three an e-mail this morning saying that I would still be picking them up._

_Howard and Raj gave me big hugs which was nice. I missed them more than I thought that I would. Leonard wrapped me up in a hug which was nice, until I tried to pull away. _

_After having to hear more about snow than I ever needed to hear EVER I finally steer the direction to Sheldon. _

_I can't believe that they would do that to him. It's how he defines himself. It's who he is. No wonder he's acting weird. The three people on this earth he counted on more than anyone else completely betrayed him. Worse, they act like it's no big deal. What the hell?_

_How could they do that to him?!_

* * *

Penny texted Sheldon. Again.

_I'm going to go the airport and pick every1 up. Just wanted you to know. _

She never received a response. Again.

Sadly, she had gotten used to the radio silence that emanated from across the hallway. Three days ago he yelled at her then demanded she leave. Three days ago she listened. Three days ago she took Skype off of her laptop, she was tired of the constant dinging. She sent out one e-mail telling her boys she would be at the airport to get them on Friday morning and that was the last time she had any contact with any of them.

It was the longest three days of her life.

Penny never understood when people said so close yet so far away. It never made any sense to her. How could something be within reach and not be all at the same time? Now she got it. She understood. He was right there. Right there! But he refused to talk to her. Refused to undo the chain on the door that kept her out.

* * *

_Meet you guys at baggage_. Penny shot off the quick text to Raj, who right now was voted least likely to piss her off.

She spotted Howard before she saw the others. He was still in sweats, it seems his normal fashion choices weren't good for protecting him against frigid temperatures.

"Just your smile gives me warmth. Although, I do know of other ways you could heat me back up." Was Howard's greeting. Penny missed him so much that she chose to ignore what he said and gave him a big hug.

She pulled away and turned to see Raj, with the biggest smile she had ever seen on. "I missed you too Raj." She said as she pulled him to her and squeezed him tight.

"Hi Penny! I missed you so much!" Ah, yes. Leonard. Ignoring the need to immediately interrogate him, she leaned in and gave him a hug as well. When she tried to pull away Leonard pulled her tighter.

Penny sighed with disappointment. "Leonard, please. Just stop." He gave her one last squeeze before pulling away reluctantly. Addressing the group she said, "Come on guys, I'm parked kinda far away. Let's get moving."

If Penny was planning an uncomfortable car ride the she was mistaken. Howard and Leonard were talking over each other while Raj was hurriedly whispering in Howard's ear in the backseat so that he could add his perspective:

"Snow whiter than your luscious mounds..."

"We saw a polar bear! A wild one, it was huge!"

"Raj says that...what was it...something about a solar eclipse." A quick glance in the rear-view at Raj made her smile. Clearly something was lost in translation.

"So did Sheldon get everything he needed to prove his monopole thing?" Penny cut in.

There was the uncomfortable silence she was expecting.

"Have you heard from Sheldon?" Leonard's voice squeaked.

"Just that I didn't need to pick him up." She said as calmly as she could. "Why didn't I need to pick him up?"

Silence was her answer.

Another glance to the backseat showed Raj and Howard whispering quickly to each other, they were obviously fighting about what to say. "Howard, why did you stop telling me what he is saying?"

Both men glanced sharply at the back of her head. "It's nothing important." Howard explained as dismissively as he could. He gave a silent sigh of relief when all she did was nod.

Once at a red light Penny grabbed her purse and pulled out a can of beer. "Here Raj." She said kindly and tossed it back to him. He nodded gratefully and quickly drank half of it. Raj then immediately started rambling about everything he was trying to tell her before about snow and bears and the eclipse and...

"Sweetie. Calm down. I just have one quick question." Leonard covered his face with his hands, he seemed to know where this was going. "Why isn't Sheldon with you guys?"

An answer was not forthcoming. She waited patiently as she drove to Howard's house. Penny gave a small smile when Howard couldn't escape from the car. Thank you child safety locks.

"Start talking or start walking funny. Your choice." She announced to the car.

Penny tosses another beer to Raj to help loosen his tongue around her while Howard and Leonard exchanged glances through the mirror.

"Things just didn't go as expected in the Arctic." Leonard said quietly. "Sheldon left early because he just couldn't take the pressure so he left."

That's it? That's why Sheldon was a wreck and was destroying everything? He couldn't stand the pressure? It didn't seem right, something was off. Leonard and Howard wouldn't meet her eyes, they were hiding something from her.

"Sheldon left because of Leonard and Howard!" Raj blurted out. "Howard was being an ass to him..."

"So were you!" Howard interrupted. "Don't pin this all on me!"

"You hid his food and gave it to Leonard! Took him two weeks to agree to eat food that wasn't on his schedule! He barely ate anything! I share some of the blame Penny. I let some things go on that I shouldn't have. At first it was funny to see him not be in control of everything, but things got out of hand." Raj paused and looked at his empty beer can with a sad face. Penny sighed and threw him another one. This was the last one she brought, they'd have to go to the store if Raj needed any more liquid courage.

"I'm begging you Raj, stop talking." Leonard whispered.

Penny gave him a sharp glance. "So Howard took away the control that Dr. Whack-A-Doodle loves and Raj played along until things got out of hand." She summarized. "But what did you do Leonard? Make fun of trains? Not tell him when you were being sarcastic?"

Silence reigned in the car for ten minutes. Penny knew this because she kept track of the time on her radio. She also noticed when Howard and Raj starting fidgeting, the quiet making them uncomfortable.

Raj was the first to crack. God bless him, but he just couldn't stand people not getting along. "He attacked Sheldon. Constantly. It was like he waged war and didn't tell anyone. He hid Sheldon's phone, his laptop, even his socks. Then he kept bugging Sheldon about you guys..."

"Raj, just shut up!" The words seemed to force themselves out of Leonard's mouth without his consent.

Penny closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. If she got too upset Raj would shut down and right now he was the only one telling her anything.

"Howard. I don't know how you are gonna do it, and frankly I don't care, but you will make this up to Sheldon. You knew going into this what he's like. He's a demanding, controlling freak who has the power to make you miserable without even knowing it. But he's also loyal to a fault and if you would have just talked to him he would have moaned and complained and argued his point until he was blue in the face, but he would have changed." Penny quickly got out of the car and opened Howard's door. When he got out she gave him a tight hug. "He trusted you. And he cares about you in his own oddball way. Please at least try to make it up to him." She whispered in his ear.

Howard simply nodded and headed to his house. Penny sighed and then headed back in the car. She put it in drive and headed to Raj's house. One down, two to go.

"So Raj,go ahead and open up that beer." She gave a glance to Leonard, her next words chosen to sting him. "Because it seems like you are the only friend that Sheldon had up there."

"That's not fair Penny. You have no clue what it was like up there! He was a nightmare!" Leonard had enough. "And there was no way to get away from him! He was a total and complete dictator and I was the only one with the balls to do anything about it!"

"And what exactly did you do Leonard?" Penny asked in a very calm voice.

Penny sighed. Apparently Leonard has forgotten how to speak. "Raj? What did Leonard do?"

Raj had just polished off the rest of his beer when he spoke. "Other than being an ass? He messed with Sheldon's experiment."

"He did what?" Maybe Penny heard wrong.

"Messed it up good. He kept the original data of course, but fed Sheldon false results."

"How could you do that?" Penny asked quietly. "Why would you do that?"

Leonard exploded, "Because he deserved it! Making the past five years of my existence miserable, pulling me up to the fucking North Pole when he knew that there wasn't going to be anything up there! Stealing you..."

"Stealing me?" Penny asked. "How on earth did Sheldon steal me? I'm not a thing you know, not something that you can possess!"

"I know that." Leonard said in a condescending voice.

Penny slammed on the brakes and turned off the car. "Let me tell you some things that you don't know. You don't know me. At all. You know that you wanna fuck me, what you don't know is that you will never get the privilege. You know the Sheldon that he presents to the world, what you don't know is how nice and kind and considerate he can be. You don't know anything about me. I wanna be your friend, I really do. When your not being possessive over me you can be a really nice guy. I like that guy. He's a good friend. But the guy who made Sheldon rip apart everything that you ever gave him? The guy who would mess up experiments and justify it by saying Sheldon is hard to live with? I don't wanna get to know that guy. I want that guy to leave and never come back. And right now you're that guy. Get out."

Leonard, who had his head down during Penny's lecture, lifted his head up to look at her. "Get out?"

"Yes. Get. Out. Of. My. Car." Slowly Leonard got out of the car. Right before he shut the door Penny added, "And stay away from me until you can be the guy that I know is deep down in there."

It took a trip to the liquor store to get the rest of the story out of Raj.

"...and then once Leonard noticed that he brought the napkin and a Penny Blossom, well he freaked. Started going on and on about how Sheldon was delusional and how he isn't capable of having a real relationship. Leonard kept saying how Sheldon couldn't give you the normal life that you would want. How he was the better choice for you. Sheldon acted all Sheldoney. He kept pointing out how he was better than Leonard, smarter. Next thing you know Leonard is playing with a can opener which messed with the experiment. When I found out I told Sheldon, the next day he was gone."

Penny pulled up the Raj's apartment and help him get out of the car. She gave him a tight hug before he went inside.

How was she going to fix this? How was she going to help Sheldon? How could she help him when he wouldn't even talk to her?


	21. Chapter 21

_Of course it would be a Saturday when I see him. I had a feeling that no matter what the boy would still stick to certain routines. _

_What I didn't' expect was Sheldon hauling down damn near everything in his closet._

_He said that he was leaving. I didn't want to believe him. My head refused to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. I won't believe it. I can't. _

_He's leaving. _

_He's leaving me and he doesn't care. He's going back to Texas, said that he was gonna put notice at the school and then leave. Sheldon is leaving by train no less. _

_Who the hell takes a train anymore? The answer is simple really: Sheldon does. He can say whatever he wants about trains, I think he's scared of heights. _

_I got him to agree to take a vacation instead of resign. Time to heal, time to get over things. _

_I still have no clue how I did that other than I asked him. Sheldon isn't as difficult as people make him. If he can see the logic in something he agrees. The problem is finding logic that he will agree with._

_I'm going with him and he can't stop me. He needs someone to help him pull himself out of his head. _

* * *

Saturday night used to equal parties and fun for Penny. It used to mean drunken nights and slutty dancing with men whose faces she wouldn't be able to recognize the next day. It was the promise of a hangover on Sunday even if she worked. Ever since she was eighteen (alright, sixteen) that was the pure definition of Saturday.

For the past year and half it meant the smell of laundry detergent and lectures about the proper way to maintain clothing.

If anyone asked her she would deny it, but she much preferred the new meaning of Saturday.

Penny grabbed her dirty laundry and shoved it in the basket then headed downstairs fifteen minutes before Sheldon would. As she reached the laundry room she shook her head with a small smile. If eighteen (alright, fine, sixteen) year old Penny could see her now...

She had just started the washer when Sheldon appeared. Penny jumped on top of the washer and watched him carefully. He had filled out more, although he was still too skinny. His motions were much more controlled than they ever were. She couldn't see his face, it seemed like he was trying to ignore her. He was way too focused on the task at hand.

Penny blinked rapidly. That was way too many clothes. Far too many. It seemed like every piece of clothing he ever owned was currently being washed. What was going on here?

"Hi Sheldon." Penny whispered with a soft smile. She didn't want to spook him.

"Penny." Inwardly Penny rolled her eyes. _One word answers Moon Pie, really?_ She watched him as he mechanically added the recommended amount of detergent to the first two loads of laundry.

"How is everything in 4A?"

"Oh. You wish to catch up even though my refusal to communicate with you indicates my reluctance to continue our friendship." Sheldon tilted his head at her as though he was trying to examine her. Just when Penny started to get uncomfortable being under his gaze he started to talk, "Very well. Other than the prefunctionary apology about the Arctic situation Leonard has only spoken to me to bemoan his fate. He condemns me as the one who destroyed his 'chance of a lifetime', namely you."

Penny gave a very unladylike snort. "Maybe in his head he had a chance with me. In reality? No." A scary thought flashed through her head. "You aren't gonna move out because of him are you?"

"My departure is scheduled. I find myself unwilling to tolerate the inevitable." The word departure stuck in Penny's head and stared at him, trying to make herself believe that wasn't what she heard.

"Departure? Where are you going?" Penny fought to keep her expressions as neutral as she could, but her voice couldn't hide the shock and fear that she felt.

"Home." Great, just what she needed, more one word answers.

"But Sheldon, you are home." How could he not understand this?

"Penny. A home is defined as a dwelling place where a family or a social grouping is occupied. I have no family in California, and no longer possess a social group." Sheldon said as he readied his next load of clothes for the washer.

Penny forcefully turned him around and made him look at her. "So the guys fucked up. They fucked up big time. I can understand why you don't wanna be around them Sheldon, I really do. But what about me? Are you gonna leave me too? What did I ever do to you?" Suddenly it was Sheldon holding on too tight to her.

"What did you do to me?" He asked her in a steely voice, "You honestly have no idea what you have done?" Just as quickly as he grabbed her, he pushed her away again. "This discussion has reached its end because there is nothing left to say. I am going to Texas. I am going to be with my family where I belong."

Penny blinked several times, trying to understand the emotions that were swirling around in her head. Anger that she couldn't understand how this really affected his career, guilt that she didn't know something was wrong when he stopped talking to her in the Arctic, desire to be where he was no matter what, and the need for revenge floating in the background.

She was so busy trying to organize her thoughts that she almost missed the small smile that was fighting to show up on Sheldon's face. What was that smile for? Did he think that leaving her behind was funny?

"Then I'll go with you."

"No, you won't." Sheldon told her. Penny could tell that he was trying to fight the hint of hope that showed up on his face.

Slowly, so she wouldn't be thrown off of him again, Penny pulled him closer and gave him a hug. She loved how she felt against him. She felt small being tucked up under his chin, but she didn't feel closed in. She felt safe. Penny gave a small sigh when Sheldon stopped being rigid and willingly wrapped his arms around her, squeezing slightly.

"Yes I will." She pulled away just far enough so that she could look him in the eyes, "I'm your friend and I want to help you through this. I want to help you because even though I don't exactly understand what happened up there, I do know that it was a shitty thing to do. I wanna help you because I don't wanna see you retreat into yourself."

"And if I don't desire your presence?" He whispered.

"Sweetie, you ignored me for the three days that you have been home. This is the longest conversation that I have had with any of you since you've been back. So if you don't want me to go that's tough cause I'm going. But I'm only going with you on one condition."

At this point Sheldon pulled away from her completely and crossed his arms across his chest. "The interloper has a condition? Very well, amuse me. Name your condition."

"That this isn't running away. That you are coming back where you belong. That this is just a vacation, not tucking tail and hiding. Promise me Sheldon. Promise me that we come back."

"Why does it matter to you" Why does it matter if I come back or not?" He asked her.

Penny turned to toss her clothes into the dryer and tried to gather her thoughts.

Why did she want him to come back?

Well, Penny was pretty sure that she was in love with him, but she thought she was in love before. It didn't work out. He knew he was smarter than her and he used it to his advantage...a lot. It was his way or the highway most of the time. It was considered to be a hell-worthy offense to eat Chinese food on a Wednesday. He didn't have a car because he was too neurotic to drive and he considered a night in watching Star Trek exciting.

What she felt for him couldn't really be called love though. It didn't feel like anything that she had recognized as love. He did try to use his intelligence against her, but she gave as good as she got. Penny loved sparring with him and sensed that he liked it more than he would ever admit. It might still be a hell-worthy offense to eat the wrong food on the wrong day, but only if you were Sheldon. He never forced his schedule on her. Sheldon wanted her to be a part of it sure, but if she craved pizza on a Tuesday she would have pizza on a Tuesday. He would complain and go into great detail about how his food schedule was put together for optimum digestion, but he would never try to change her mind. And the driving? Based on what Penny has seen, Sheldon should never be allowed behind the wheel of anything unless it was connected to a video game.

With all of this in mind Penny slowly closed the dryer door and turned to stare at Sheldon.

"Because Raj is here. No matter what you think, he's your friend. The...trip proved that. I'm here too. Well, I'll be back here eventually, I have a job and everything. Because you are not a coward, you are stronger than the bullies now. You don't belong in Texas, you belong here. So, you and me, we are gonna take a vacation to Texas. We are gonna see your mom and I'm gonna get to meet you brother and Meemaw and you are gonna show me where you grew up. Then we are gonna come home and you are gonna have to re-evaluate some friendships and stuff." _Lame._ Penny thought. She was sure that she wouldn't be enough.

Sheldon's mother couldn't keep him in Texas, what made Penny think she could keep him in California?

"I still fail to see why you need to accompany me. As you have pointed out, I am not a coward. I am a grown man capable of making my own decisions."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Not the right decisions."

She couldn't help but notice the gleam that entered his eyes. "Penny. My IQ cannot be measured by any standard tests. I have two doctorates. I make the right decisions." Sure you do Moon Pie...sure you do.

Silence reigned in the laundry room, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was Sheldon thinking about her offer. Penny could tell because he kept sneaking glances at her while he finished up his laundry.

Just when Penny was starting to bite her tongue so that she didn't disturb him, he spoke. "I concede to your requests. You may accompany me to Texas. We will leave by train in three days time. I will print out an itinerary for you when I return to my apartment."

Penny gave Sheldon's back a smirk. "Alright then. I'm gonna go pack." She gave him a slight tap on the shoulder as she walked past him to the stairs.

Penny gave a small laugh as she walked up the four flights of stairs. When it came to things that Penny considered important, she always won.

Just as she opened her front door two questions hit her at once:

What was inevitable?

Sheldon hated using absolutes. He would say that there was absolutely nothing absolute about absolutes and then give his little gaspy laugh.

And did Sheldon say train?

Oh crap on a cracker, he was gonna make her take a fucking train.

**A/N: Ok, this chapter kinda got away from me. Whenever I get the two of them talking for more than a paragraph they refuse to shut up! **

**On an unrelated note, has anyone heard the song ****_One More Night_**** by Maroon 5? Not a big fan of them but when I heard this one on the radio I jacked up the volume. It has to be Penny and Sheldon's anthem!**


	22. Chapter 22

_Why did I agree to the train? Why does Sheldon insist on using the train when a plane could have gotten us there in a third the time? Why do I let Sheldon get his way as much as I do?_

_WHY?!_

_I'm glutton for punishment, that must be it. _

_We are going to be in this rusty tin can for two days. _

_Two days_

_48 hours_

_2880 minutes, well 2903 minutes exactly. _

_I know because I asked Sheldon. He seemed pretty happy that I asked. He was so cute, I need to remember to ask him more stuff. I don't think anyone asks him much of anything except standard social protocol as he would say. _

_The train really isn't that bad. I was expecting bunk beds and tv dinners. I should have known better, Sheldon settles for nothing but the best._

_I feel like I got to know him better though, and that wouldn't have happened on a plane. We had a chance to talk. I know that I wanna see what it's like to be pressed up against him. I know that I love him._

_I didn't realize that I'd like him so much._

* * *

The entire cab ride to the station all Penny did was complain. It finally sank in that she wasn't going in a plane, which would only be a couple of hours. The train was going to take two days. Two days. Who even rides a train anymore?

To Sheldon's credit, he didn't say anything to her about it being her idea to come along. He didn't say anything about how he would have rather been by himself.

He didn't say anything until they had actually entered the train. A simple follow me was all that he uttered. It was really starting to bother her. Normally all she wanted was for him to just shut his hole, now all she wanted was for him to talk to her.

Anger quickly worked its way into astonishment when she saw her room.

"Oh my...Sheldon! It's awesome!" Penny exclaimed, fighting the urge to hug him.

The rusty tin can image that Penny had been dreaded immediately disappeared. She looked around slowly, trying to take everything in.

Antique looking lamps were mounted to the wall, which was a deep red oak color that shined like it had just been polished. There were only two paintings in the room, but both looked hand painted. The first was set above a cute table and chair set, but what really astonished her was the bed. Mainly that it wasn't a bunk bed type situation, it was a full sized bed. Ok, so the décor was a little bit outdated. Penny could deal with that.

With a giggle she collapsed on the bed. "This is awesome!" She repeated to the room. She leaned up on her elbows to stare at Sheldon. He looked as still as a statue. She seriously doubted that he was breathing at this point. She blinked quickly as she stared at him and gave a slight start when he gave his gaspy laugh. What was so funny?

"I'm glad that your accommodations are satisfactory. I will now adjourn to my room." He informed her before turning to leave.

"Where's your room?" Penny had figured that they were sharing. She was actually looking forward to that bit.

"Across from you." There was that gaspy laugh again. "My room always seems to be across from you. I will return at six in the evening to escort you to the dining cart." Sheldon waited for her nod of agreement before leaving.

Once the door was shut Penny collapsed on the bed again. She couldn't get a read on Sheldon anymore. Truthfully he was never very easy to understand, but she managed it most of the time. Lately though it seemed like he was either flirting with her or ignoring her all together. There were too many mixed signals. Did he like her? Or did he just not know how to act around a girl that wasn't related to him? Sitting up, Penny took another glance around the room. It was pretty nice, nicer than she thought it was going to be but she should have expected that.

Sheldon never did anything half way and he had high standards. For everything.

Curiously she got off of the bed, walked over to the table, and started leafing through the welcome packet. It was going to be an interesting two days.

* * *

Dressing for dinner was optional.

Penny understandably read this an excuse to get 'all gussied up' as her grandmother would say. She didn't pack a lot of fancy clothes, but she did know that she would be seeing Mary Cooper.

Mary Cooper equaled church on Sundays.

Church equaled dressing appropriately.

Penny finally settled on a pencil skirt with a form fitting blouse. She took a glance in the mirror and sighed. This was as good as it was gonna get.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny" Penny gave a small chuckle. She couldn't wait to see what he was wearing.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny" It wasn't non-optional, he probably was still wearing plaid and his double shirts.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny" Bracing herself for how odd that they would look together, Penny opened the door.

She wasn't prepared for what she saw.

Penny had to mentally remind herself to keep her jaw off of the floor. It wasn't as fancy as the suit that she had picked out almost a year ago, this time he was just in slacks and a nice shirt. The problem was she wasn't used to seeing him dressed as an adult. She was too used to him dressing like a ten year old about to go to the comic book store. Seeing him all dressed up...it was sexy and hot and made her want to do all sorts of things to him that involved the bed behind her.

"Sheldon, sweetie, you look nice." Penny calmly managed to say. "I didn't know if you would dress up for dinner or not."

"I am finding myself unable to detect a negative aspect about your attire as well." Sheldon told her. Penny quickly ran his sentence through her Sheldon dictionary. Oh. He thought that she looked nice too. Penny gave him a sweet smile.

"Thank you sweetie. I'm glad that you think so." Penny said as she shut the door to her cabin.

"Oh indeed." Sheldon told her as he guided her to the dining cart. "Much more preferable than the clothing you wear when you are looking for a carnal escapade at one of your dancing clubs."

* * *

Dinner was an eye opener to say the least.

First, the food.

You were served what you were served and tonight was a steak and potatoes type meal. On a Monday. Penny winced as she read the menu over and waited for Sheldon to throw a fit. When he didn't, she glanced up, shocked that he wasn't already threatening the wait staff. What the hell?

"Sheldon, why aren't you upset? You don't eat steak on Mondays."

He looked Penny in the eyes, amusement all over his face. "You were expecting a tirade on on the inadequacy of the dining cart menu? In normal circumstances, you would be correct. However we are on vacation. Vacations are to get away from the hum drum of everyday life. I would be remiss if I didn't add some whimsy to our itinerary."

Penny bit her lips to keep from laughing. "Of course, how silly of me."

Second, how willing Sheldon was to talk to her. Not down to her, to her.

"Physics is a natural science that involves the study of matter and its motion through space and time, along with related concepts such as energy and force." Sheldon rattled off to her quickly. Honestly, did he swallow a dictionary by accident or something? She blinked at him rapidly, trying to understand. There was that smile of his again. "Basically it means I am trying to figure out why the universe works the way that it does using equations." Well maybe he did talk down to her a bit, but at least he was willing to explain himself without making her feel like an idiot.

"Ok, but that doesn't really answer my question. Why won't you take a plane?" Penny asked him again.

"I refuse to take a plane unless compelled to because I am a physicist. Planes use Newton's third law of motion in conjunction with Bernoulli venturi theory. While they do work together in theory on a number of topics, I still fail to see how they can be used to defy gravity for an extended period of time." He stopped to take a drink of water then mumbled, "Trains can only go where the track goes."

"Control. Got ya Moonpie." Penny said.

"Penny, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me Moonpie." Penny smirked at him.

"Why do you think I call you that then?" She asked him then scoffed, "And you have the nerve to call yourself a genius." Delight shivered up her spine when Sheldon gave an honest to God laugh. Not a gaspy laugh, not a smirk. A laugh.

"I don't call myself anything. Among other things, people have been calling me that since I was five years old."

Lastly, he actually had a sad childhood.

"...and thanks to my siblings, I was given Amish Time for three weeks." Penny said with a small smile.

Sheldon tilted his head at her, "What is Amish Time? Did you have to churn butter?"

She gave a smirk, "Amish Time is what my mother called being grounded. She would take away anything that had a battery, had to be plugged up, or was entertaining in any way."

She watched as he nodded his hand in understanding, "Did you get in trouble a lot?"

Well...there was the time that her friend shop lifted and put the blame on her. That resulted in Penny getting handcuffed and put in a holding cell until her mom showed up. There was the time when she tried smoking and her dad caught her. At thirteen she stole her sister's car just to see what the big deal was about driving.

"Yeah, I got in trouble a bit. Who doesn't?" Sheldon's eyes seemed to stare right through her.

Sheldon put his elbows on the table and leaned toward her. "Tell me?" He whispered conspiratorially.

Penny just stared at him for a minute. She was pretty sure that he had no clue how he was affecting her with that simple action. "Why do you want to know?" Penny tried to ignore the shake in her voice.

She breathed a silent sigh of relief when he leaned back and was suddenly the Sheldon she knew again.

"My childhood circled around my education. A worthy endeavor to be sure, however it left little time for what I am given to understand are called the childhood rites of passage. While most children are learning how to ride a bicycle, I was studying the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. While my siblings were getting grounded for skipping church, I was grounded for accidentally breaking my father's clavicle in an experiment. Shorty after I went to college. Ah, the life of a child prodigy" It was said in a very factual manner. Like this was the way life was and there was no point in being upset about it.

Penny was pretty sure how he said it and not what he said this time around. It made her feel bad for the little boy who never got the chance to go outside and play. The boy who never skinned his knees playing baseball. She wanted to go back in time and give that sad, serious little boy a hug.

She mentally shook her head of the image. Sheldon never wanted pity. He probably didn't figure that he needed it.

"Well then, let me tell you about when I was seven and ran away for five hours and no one even noticed! Granted, I ran away to the attic, but no one noticed!"

**A/N: Amish Time is what my mother calls being grounded. Some of what Penny did when she was a kid I did, some of it I made up. I'll let you guess which is which! What is said about how a plane works I found on a physics website and furthers my belief that planes defy nature and should never be used. The description of the stateroom was based off of images I found of luxury trains.**

**Sorry if it was too fluffy, but no matter how I tried to steer it in a different direction Penny wouldn't let me. Lol**

**Next up, hello Texas!**


	23. Chapter 23

_Holy crap on a cracker is it hot here. _

_Boiling lava hot._

_Isn't it supposed to be fall? What the hell._

_It is pretty interesting seeing Sheldon in only one shirt. A short sleeve shirt. _

_The boy has pretty decent arms, who knew? _

_He also does chores, and I'm not talking laundry._

_Mrs. Cooper is everything that I remember her being, enough said._

_His Meemaw is adorable! Way taller than I pictured, but Sheldon comes from a tall family. All of them are taller than me by at least six inches, maybe more. I feel like I'm living with giants. Good things come in small packages right? Like Tiffany's _

_His brother though...he can suck it._

_Suck it hard._

_Suck it like it's his job._

_I may have liked bullies in high school, but this isn't high school. The man is lucky I have such restraint._

* * *

The second Penny and Sheldon exited the wonderfully air-conditioned train station, she started to sweat. It was near ten at night and it was this hot?

"Holy hell, it's hot." Penny sneaked a glance at Sheldon, "You grew up in this heat? How could you stand it?"

"When you spend your life in a certain climate, you quickly become accustomed to it. If I were to go to Nebraska, for example, I would find snow to be intolerable."

Before Penny could defend the wonders of a snowball fight, she heard the voice of Mary Cooper.

"Shelly! Penny! Over here!" Both looked over and saw a very happy Mrs. Cooper waving her arms and jumping up and down. She pulled them both into a tight hug. "I'm so happy that you're here! Sheldon, be a gentleman and get Penny's bags."

Penny gave Sheldon a smirk before following his mother. "Yeah Shelly, be a gent and get the bags?"

Penny quickly realized that the car ride was a cover for interrogating her about why she came with him.

"So Penny, I'm mighty grateful that you are here, but why did you decide to come with my Shelly?" Blunt, direct, to the point. She could see where Sheldon got it from.

"Well..." _Think Penny _"Sheldon is my friend and I haven't seen him for three months. I missed him."

Mary's eyebrows rose. "His little friends were there with him, you didn't miss them?"

"After what they did, no. I don't miss them at all really. And I don't think that they are our friends. Friends don't knowingly screw each other over." I don't really feel like hanging out with any of them right now. They are lucky I didn't go all Junior Rodeo on their asses." Penny said heatedly and without really thinking about it.

Mary glanced in the rear view mirror and met Penny's eyes. Silence reigned for the rest of the ride.

* * *

Penny woke up at the ungodly hour of eight in the morning to the smell of...was that bacon? And coffee? She jumped out of bed. A quick glance at the mirror to make sure her pajamas were appropriate for Mary and she was out the door and to the kitchen.

"Good morning Penny." Penny raised her eyebrows. Mary's back was to her, how did she know who it was?

"Morning Mrs. Cooper." Penny said as she poured her coffee and settled in at the table. She closed her eyes and took a sip. Ah caffeine, manna from heaven.

In Penny's opinion a small miracle occurred while she had her eyes closed because once she opened them there was a plate of food in front of her. Waffles, bacon, sausage, eggs? Her mouth started watering instantly.

"Eat up my girl, you are far too skinny. I swear, there is something about California that makes people stop eating..." Mary continued to mumble to herself as she started to clean up.

As Penny ate she watched Mary move around the kitchen, and began to see where Sheldon got his 'clean genes' from. Mary was organized and efficient, quickly moving from task to task. She even had a slight slouch like Sheldon did, as if she was used to having to lean down to talk to people.

"Did you remember to thank the good Lord for your food Penny?" Penny glanced from Mary to her half eaten plate and blushed. Such a simple thing to do to make the woman happy, and she forgot.

"May I suggest my prayer?" Sheldon asked as he came in from the back door, a pair of gardening gloves in his hands. "Dear invisible being who may or may not exist but must be addressed in order to consume food in my mother's house, thank you."

Penny tuned out Sheldon's so called prayer before it even started. He only had on one shirt.

One very form fitting shirt. Ok, so it had a giant rubix cube on it. Penny didn't think that she could have handled it if he had on a more stylish one on.

Because.

Because he...

Sheldon Lee Cooper had blue jeans on. Tight, worn out, faded, seen hard labor in their day, blue jeans.

Penny's brain shorted out. She was pretty sure that she forgot how to speak in English. She tuned back in just in time to catch the end of whatever they were talking about.

"Now don't give me that lip or I'll tell Meemaw that she just shouldn't bothering making her chocolate chip cookies before she comes over today."

"Meemaw's coming?" Sheldon's voice was excited. "When?"

"Junior is gonna be bringing her around lunch time." His mother answered.

"Junior's comin' wit her?" Penny was surprised to hear how thick Sheldon's accent got with four words.

"Yes, and I want you two to play nice." Mary's voice was stern.

"I'll be nice if he don't go startin' nothing." Sheldon told her. Abruptly he starting talking like the Sheldon she knew, "I am going to take a shower. I can feel the germs attempting to invade my person. Please excuse me." He turned away and left.

The second Sheldon left the room Penny turned to Mary, "I know it's not my place, and you dont have to say anything if you don't want to, but does Sheldon get along with his brother at all?"

The look Mary gave her made Penny think that she had intruded on something that she shouldn't have. Before she could stammer an apology Mary spoke, "My boys are two very different people and they butt heads, a lot. When you meet Junior just remember that he does love Shelly, he just shows it different."

* * *

"...took the boy damn near three or four hours to get out!" Junior said in between fits of laughter. Penny was fighting the urge to go over there and kick his ass. This was the fourth story of the so called 'fun' that Sheldon and his older brother had gotten into when they were growing up. It didn't sound like much fun to her. It sounded like Junior tortured Sheldon most of their lives.

"As I recall, and I recall everything, it took three hours and forty-two minutes to escape that so called practical joke." Sheldon blandly informed the living room. Once he was assured that everyone knew the exact amount of time that he was locked in a dumpster he went back to quietly eating a tin of chocolate chip cookies.

"It all worked out in the end Bean Pole!" Junior said with a hard clap to his younger brother's back. "And you learned how to pick locks! A valuable skill if ever there was one." He turned his attention to Penny. "Some of what I taught ya must've worn off for ya to get such a pretty girl." Penny felt her skin crawl a little bit when she felt his eyes rake over her. "Mama, you got any beer in this house?"

"George Carlton Junior, you know very well that alcohol of any kind is not tolerated in this house." Was Mary's sharp answer.

"Well, I guess that's my cue. I'm gonna head out to the bar, you wanna come with darlin?" Junior asked Penny. Her eyes wandered over to Sheldon who looked like he was facing the firing squad. He didn't actually think that she was gonna say yes did he? After all of those stories of torturing Sheldon, hidden under the guise of siblings giving each other a hard time?

"I don't drink." Penny shot Sheldon her 'shut up now' look before he could contradict her and blow her cover.

"Next time then." Junior gave her a smile that she was sure was meant to be flirty and sexy. "I'll show you what it's like to hang out with a real Cooper man."

She didn't know why she said it. Penny couldn't tell you why the words came out of her mouth, only that she didn't like him. She didn't like the way he talked to Sheldon, didn't like how Sheldon didn't talk as much, how he seemed to fold into himself. All she knew what that no one was allowed to talk to her Moonpie like that. No one.

She slowly got up and walked up behind Sheldon, carefully wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I'm pretty sure I got the man and not the boy on this one, so thanks but no thanks. I already know what it's like to be with a Cooper man." Praying that Sheldon didn't bolt or throw her off of him, she gave him a small kiss on the side of his neck. "Have fun at the bar Junior." Without waiting for a response Penny left the living room.

Penny took a seat in the kitchen, trying to calm down when a tin of chocolate chip cookies appeared out of nowhere.

"Jes – I mean..." Penny stammered, trying to cover the fact that she was about to blaspheme in a religious house.

"Don't worry baby girl, Mary is in the living room. She's grilling Sheldon about what you did." Meemaw gently told her.

"Oh." Penny quickly tried to change the subject, "I think that this might be a table of miracles. Every single time I sit down at it, food appears."

Meemaw gave her a smile. "It's the southern way. Everything can be solved with more food. And don't tell my Moonpie, but I always make an extra tin of cookies. Hide these when you are done or else you won't get any." She told Penny with a smile in her voice. Her voice hardened considerably, "Now. You are going to tell me what's really going on between you and my baby."

Penny glanced at Meemaw from underneath her eyelashes. These people really are giants. Even Meemaw was over six feet, wavy gray hair with a touch of white was pulled back into a braid that barely touched her lower back.

"I feel like a midget." Penny mumbled to herself before continuing in a louder voice, "We are friends. Best friends if you can be my age and still throw that term around. He's always there for me and he sees me for what I'm worth. I just didn't like that way his brother was talking to him is all. I know it's not my place but I just couldn't help it. After everything that happened in the Arctic, he just doesn't need to be around stuff like that. Boy is lucky that I didn't slug him." Penny took another large bite of cookie before the tin was pulled out of her hands.

Two seconds later Sheldon walked in. "Why did you violate me in such a manner?" He demanded more than asked.

Wow, guess super sonic hearing was more than just a Sheldon thing. It was a Cooper thing.

"Because I didn't like the way that he was talking to you Sheldon."

"So, in a way you were defending my honor?" Sheldon asked. Slowly, because she wasn't sure if it was the right answer or not, Penny nodded. "That's insane on the face of it. My brother has formed his opinion of my quite a long time ago. I'm fairly certain that your pawing at me did nothing to change his mind."

"Sheldon, I used to date guys just like your brother in high school. Trust me, that is the only thing that he does understand." How could a man that was almost thirty not understand something like that? What she couldn't understand was the slight hint of disappointment that flew over his face before he got himself under control again.

"Yes well, I suppose it was too much to hope that Kurt was just an anomaly." Now what the hell did he mean by that?

**A/N: You ever get really bad writer's block and no matter what you type\write it seems wrong and stupid and can't get what you want to happen out of your head and onto paper? Same here. **


	24. Chapter 24

_For the first year I knew Sheldon, I thought that I had him pegged. I figured that he was a condescending ass who always had to be right and always had to have things his way._

_For the most part, I was right. _

_Then I find out that he is considerate in his own way. That when he realizes that he was wrong he does everything in his power to make things right again. _

_There's a human in there just trying to get out. _

_I realized something else too. Something I never knew that I never knew:_

_Sheldon is not as secure as he pretends. Somewhere in there, under the condensation, the arrogance, the self-righteousness, is a very insecure person._

_I wanted to hug him and yell at him to snap out of it all at the same time. I wanted to hide him in my room where no one could ever hurt him again. _

_Sheldon Cooper, in my room. Not a bad image really._

* * *

"Sheldon, sweetie, it's just a library." Penny said, exasperated. After eating entirely too much food for breakfast, she was promised a tour of Sheldon's childhood. It was exciting to think that he was going to allow her into this part of his world. He was usually so closed-lipped about his past that she actually felt a little bit special.

Until they started at the library.

Libraries are great, just not exactly what Penny was thinking of when she thought 'tour'.

"Penny, Penny, Penny, once again you are underestimating me. To the uneducated, libraries may seem dry or boring, but to the rest of the population they are a place of wonder."

"I'm pretty sure there was an insult in there somewhere." Penny mumbled to herself before following him up the stairs.

Sheldon, when placed in one of his elements, was amazing to watch. Walking with purpose he headed straight for stairs that looked like they were made before the Civil War and quickly headed up them with Penny slowly following.

He stopped abruptly and made Penny collide into his back. She grabbed onto him and secretly copped a feel in the name of regaining her balance.

Judging by the space that Sheldon instantly put between them, maybe it wasn't so secret.

"So what did you wanna show me Moonpie?" She asked him.

Glancing warily at her Sheldon grabbed a book off of the shelf without looking, "This is the first physics book I ever read. Granted, the writing is rudimentary at best, however it was enough to garner my interest. I quickly read through the rest of the collection. Once I was done here, I perused the other science sections."

Penny looked at the book in his hands, "_The Ghost in the Atom: A Discussion of the Mysteries of Quantum Physics_? Sheldon, how old were you when you read this?"

"For the first time? I was seven. Why?" Sheldon looked truly confused.

Penny just shrugged her shoulders, "No reason."

"Follow me." Sheldon told her with a small smile. Sometimes Penny thought that she spent half of her time with Sheldon trying to follow him.

Sheldon turned one corner and started down a set of stairs that Penny didn't even notice until she saw him slowly disappear.

"Sheldon, where are we going?" Penny was a little bit apprehensive.

To be fair, it did look like the beginning of every scary movie that she had ever seen. She did know Sheldon though, and that meant that wherever they were headed it was safe.

Probably safer than the Cheesecake Factory and her apartment combined.

Times ten.

At the bottom of the stairs was a long hallway that Sheldon walked down like he knew exactly what he was doing. Sheldon opened a very old looking door and gestured for Penny to go in before him.

Penny looked around in amazement. It wasn't that big of a room, probably about the size of her living room, but it was set up beautifully. A plush leather couch took up most of the room, and bean bag chairs were placed in various spots against the walls. A desk was pushed up against the wall, a wooden chair placed underneath it. There was a large window that she could look out at and see the grass. She gave a smile as she watched a bunny hop quickly in front of her.

"I used to come here as a boy. I would find an appropriate selection of books and would read them down here. It was my first inner sanctum."

Penny blinked rapidly at him and then waited for the smile that always popped up when she did that, "You showed me your first ice thingy?" Penny asked. It finally hit her. This was one of the first places he felt safe, that he felt like he could be himself and he shared it with her.

"Yes well, you didn't show the appropriate amount of enthusiasm for the library..." Sheldon was cut off by her hug.

And chose not to comment on the not-so-secret grabbing of his butt this go around.

Gradually Sheldon wrapped his arms around her and Penny let out a contented sigh.

"Penny?" Sheldon whispered.

"Yes Sheldon?" She asked, completely content in that moment.

"I am uncomfortable with this amount of physical contact at this time." He said that could be called apologetic if you knew what you were looking for.

Penny pulled away, "I do like your first ice thingy." A low rumble from her stomach interrupted her. With a laugh she added, "Where are you gonna take me after lunch?"

* * *

"Sheldon, no."

"Why not Penny?" He practically whined.

"I went with you to the library, to your dad's grave, the spot behind the bleachers at your old school, and where you hid when your mother tried to get you to go to church. I even went inside that shed in your mom's backyard, and that place is creepy. I have no clue what you did in there but I do know that it couldn't have been a good idea. But I am not going up there." Penny declared. The day had started out ok. She felt special when he showed her the library, touched when he was willing to take her to his dad's grave.

Then it turned into a tour of how many places Sheldon could hide when he was a kid. For someone who left for college before he hit puberty, there were a lot of places to visit.

Penny turned to look at Sheldon and tell him that she was done, and shouldn't he take a shower before the germs attacked him, but then she caught his eye.

He looked so hopeful at that moment that she knew she wouldn't say no again.

Dammit.

Penny heaved a long-suffering sigh, "Can you guarantee that the roof won't collapse in on itself?"

"I can assure you that while there has never been more than one person on the roof at any given moment, I do come up here every time I visit my family. Nothing of concern has happened." Penny gave him one last doubtful look, then climbed up the ladder.

To the roof of an old barn.

Being a farm girl, Penny was fully aware of the dangers of being up on an old barn. Her brother had fallen through the roof of the barn at her father's house. He had broken both legs and Penny had hated heights ever since.

Once they were at the top Sheldon seemed to transform. He laid down on his back, looked at her, and gestured for her to do the same. Cautiously she did the same right next to him and watched him.

He looked satisfied with her and then turned to look at the sky, placing his hands under his head for a pillow. Penny immediately zeroed in on the small patch of skin that appeared where his shirt and jeans touched and completely missed what he was saying.

"...so I ran up here. It was the only place I could think of that Junior couldn't find."

Penny looked incredulous. "You mean that he didn't think to look up and see you here?"

"I may or may not have convinced him that this particular barn was haunted." Penny laughed at his happy smile.

"You did not!" She elbowed him gently, "Bad-ass."

"Yes well, I agree that it was amusing until my father discovered what I did. I was forced to pick a switch to his satisfaction and receive my punishment." Sheldon's voice turned thoughtful, "He never did tell Junior what I did. He told me that he figured even a boy needed a space all his own." Sheldon gave a sigh, indicating a change in subject, "I showed ya everything I did today cause they all had a special meaning to me when I was little." Penny turned her head away so that he couldn't see her smile.

Relaxed Texas Sheldon sounded better than upset Texas Sheldon.

"This spot is different though." Sheldon continued, "It was my first 0,0,0,0. I like books so it stands to reason I like libraries. I took ya to daddy's grave cause my mom wanted me to. She says it's a sign of respect. I showed ya the bleachers cause it was my escape in middle school. Even though I was only there for a couple of years I still needed some place safe. This place though, I found it when I was six and never turned back. It's where I fell in love with physics, where I tried to come to terms with mama's religion, it's the first place I asked why." Sheldon trailed off and broke eye contact with Penny.

"Why what Sheldon?" They laid there in silence for awhile. Just when Penny figured he wasn't going to answer her, he answered.

"Why I am the way I am." Sheldon whispered it so fast that she almost didn't catch it. "Did my mother's God make me this way or am I just a genetic anomaly? Why can't I understand sarcasm but I can use it with ease? Why can't I tolerate human contact? Is it because I don't understand the human condition or am I just too scared to let myself feel? Why does even a prolonged touch from Meemaw make my skin crawl? Why did everyone focus on the genius but forgot about the child? Why was daddy uncomfortable around me? Why does Missy overcompensate for Junior? Why does Junior hate me?" Penny noticed tears that refused to fall pool around Sheldon's eyes. They seemed to make the blue of his eyes even sharper. Penny had been ignoring the silent tears going down her cheeks.

She could barely hear his last statement, "Why can't I be normal?"

"My granny always said that normal could only be found on a washing machine." Penny offered, the only consolation she could think of at the moment.

Sheldon's blank face stared at her and made her fidget. Was that the wrong thing to say? Should she not have broken the moment?

"That is by far the smartest thing that I have ever heard come out of your mouth." Penny laughed at him and gave him a slight shove.

"Ass." She said.

"No," Sheldon corrected her, "Bad-ass, remember?" All that did was make Penny laugh harder.

Knowing that Sheldon didn't like being weak, knowing that he didn't like pity, and knowing that he wouldn't trade his intelligence for anything on earth, Penny let the subject drop.

She fought the urge to kiss away his unshed tears. Fought the urge to crawl into his lap and never let anyone hurt him again. Fought the urge to get up and kick the collective ass of east Texas for not appreciating him, for letting him feel insecure. Instead she gently changed the subject.

"So, why do you like The Flash so much? All he can do is run fast. Had to be thought of by a guy. No girl would come up with a hero who was called the fastest man alive. Fast isn't the key with certain things Moonpie. Thorough over speed." She bopped his nose, "Remember that."

Ok, maybe not so gentle.

"How could you even imply...to say such things about a beloved comic book hero...honestly Penny..." And he was off and running, simultaneously explaining the wonders of comic book heroes and berating her for her thinly veiled innuendo.

**A/N: I am the daughter of a librarian. When I was a kid I found all sorts of little hidden rooms. The one described is pretty much the one I lived in during summer. The whole washing machine quote? My mom used to say that all the time when I was in middle school and had the same feelings everyone did...why am I different? I kinda ran with that theme with Sheldon in the end because I have found that the more someone refuses to feel, well...they usually feel too much. **

**It's also the other chapter that inspired this story. **


	25. Chapter 25

_I had no idea what to expect when we got home._

_Well in all honesty I didn't really wanna leave Texas despite all the heat. I don't think that Sheldon was any happier, but he did seem more relaxed. _

_I wouldn't say no to more of those cookies either...I swear Meemaw puts crack in them!_

_When we get home Raj and Howard are at the apartment with Leonard. I had him in such a good mood, and the second that he sees the three of them he stiffens up like a board._

_I gotta say they stepped up though. I'm ridiculously proud of them. I'm pretty sure that Sheldon hasn't forgiven them...at least not completely, but it's a step in the right direction. _

_I leave to go to sleep, eternally grateful that I'm no longer sleeping on Mary Cooper's couch, and Leonard has to go and wake me up. _

_I'm kinda glad that he did though, we didn't part on the best of terms and I'm happy that everything got out in the open._

_Then Sheldon comes in and misunderstands everything. BUT we finally got to an understanding._

_A lovely understanding. Amaze-balls type of understanding._

* * *

"Penny, I have changed my mind." Sheldon said with a shaky voice, "I don't think I can do this."

They were standing in front of the door to 4A, and Sheldon looked like he was about to go in front of the firing squad.

"You are admitting that you can't do something? Sheldon Lee Cooper is admitting defeat? I thought your working knowledge of the universe and all it contains meant that you could do anything." Penny shrugged then delivered the killing blow, "Guess you're not as smart as you think you are."

She watched as his jaw tightened and his eyes hardened. _Good old ego to the the rescue!_ Penny thought to herself.

With a slightly shaky hand Sheldon opened his front door.

And turned from human to robot in three seconds.

All three of them were there. Penny figured that Raj wasn't the one that made him do that, it was probably the other two idiots.

Sheldon nodded to them, "Gentlemen." Walking so fast it could almost be called running, he headed to his room.

Howard turned to Penny, "What's up with him?" he asked, then seemed to shrink under Penny's stare.

"You are really gonna ask me that? He only had to go to Texas to get away from all of you." She watched as Raj quickly whispered something in Howard's ear.

"I realize it was a bad joke, lay off me." He muttered quietly before speaking up, "We wanted to talk to him, say sorry. See if I can maintain the high honor of being his treasured acquaintance again. We even got him some presents."

Penny simply rolled her eyes at him, "Whatever. I'm gonna go make sure that he is ok."

She didn't even bother knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" Sheldon asked as the door shut, "Oh Penny. Don't come in. No one is allowed in my room."

Choosing to completely disregard that statement, Penny spoke. "Listen up Moonpie, as I see it you have two choices. You can man up or you can pout. Which will it be?"

"And what does each choice entail?" He asked her, eyebrow raised.

She blinked quickly, trying to organize her thoughts. Wondering why the hell Sheldon was smiling she explained his choices, "You can man up. Be the bigger person. Forgive them for being ass-hats and be thankful that it didn't go any farther than the five of us. Continue healing from it and don't let it destroy you because if you let it this will eat you alive. Don't let other people's problems become your issues. Or you can pout. Stay in your room, vote yourself off the island. Turn back into robot man." Penny was closely watching him, trying to gauge his reaction. She could tell she was losing him. "Be the coward. Let them win. No big deal."

Sheldon gave her a look that told her in no uncertain terms that he was in no way impressed.

"Penny." He took a deep breath, "Penny, I am certain that other members in your social group would fall for what was nothing more than a failed attempt to force me to do your bidding. As a higher life form, I will not fall victim to it."

Without missing a beat Penny sweetly told him, "They got you presents."

Leveling her what could only be described as a death stare, Sheldon left his bedroom. Alarmed that she might have unleashed angry Sheldon against the world she quickly followed him in time to hear him say, "Where are my presents?"

Later on that evening as Sheldon was re-reading his brand new _Flash of Two Worlds_ in hardback no less, Penny's phone vibrated.

_As you can see I have chosen to be the better man by your terminology. Please remember that while I may forgive them for what they did, I will never forget it. _

Penny glanced from her phone to her left, where Sheldon was sitting in his spot. When the hell did he text her?

* * *

Later on that night Penny was woken up by the sound of her phone falling off the table.

"Stupid vibrate." She muttered as she bent over to see who dared intrude on her first night back on her non-lumpy bed.

_Are you awake? ~L_

_I am now. ~P_

_What do you want? ~P_

_Can I come over? ~L_

_Excuse me? ~P_

_That came out wrong. Just wanna talk is all. ~L_

The last thing she wanted was Leonard in her house while she was in her favorite pair of pink silky pajamas. She also knew that now that she was awake, there was no going asleep.

_Unlock your door~P_

Heaving a loud and very unnecessary sigh Penny toed on her slippers and headed over to 4A.

She didn't even have to knock, Leonard had opened the door for her. Penny headed over and sat in the middle of the sofa. "What's up? You do realize that it is 2:30 in the morning right?"

Leonard nodded sheepishly, "Yeah and I'm sorry. I just have to get this off of my chest and I couldn't wait." He sat down on the seat on her right. "When you love someone..."

"Leonard, please..."

"Just let me finish." At Penny's nod he continued, "When you love someone and you leave them for three months, it does stuff to you. You miss them, wonder what they are doing, that kind of thing." Leonard looked down at the floor, "The first couple of days in the Arctic were like that. I couldn't get you off of my mind. Kept wondering what you were doing, who you were doing, if out of sight meant out of mind to you." He turned to look her in the eye, "But, it faded. It didn't hurt to be away from you. I was ok. I mean, I missed you and everything but it wasn't painful. I thought it meant that I was mature, that we were headed into a stable relationship." Suddenly Leonard shot up and started pacing, "But Sheldon? He was turning back into the robot that he was when I first moved in. He was twitchy and annoying, more than he usually is. The only time he was happy was when he held that stupid napkin you gave him six months ago. Six fucking months!

And then I realized something, I was fighting a losing battle. Both of us love Star Trek, you could have given that to me. You didn't, you gave it to Sheldon. And he took it with him! I blew up. I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him how he couldn't be with you in any universe because he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend. He doesn't know how to be normal. Then he goes on and on about how women are starting to pick smarter men as mates on average because of evolution. So I do something stupid, I fuck with his experiment. He won't be the smart one if he is given false data. And it all blew up in my face. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but now that we are home." Leonard paused to sit back down, "Well, no matter how you and Sheldon feel about me it can't be worse than how I feel about it. It took you running with him to make me realize that you were right. All I saw were your looks. I wanted the hot blond. I can't tell you how sorry I am. For a lot of things."

Penny looked at him with some suspension. "You're sorry? He's your best friend and you screwed him over because you were thinking with the wrong head and you're sorry?"

"Right now I don't think that I can call myself that." Leonard told her brokenly. "Tell me how to make it up to him, how to fix this." He almost pleaded with her.

"I don't know if you can." At the look on Leonard's face she continued, "But you can try. You've known him longer than me, you know how he is. Get his food orders right, tell him when you are using sarcasm, don't be an ass. If he is your best friend, treat him like one. That's all I got." She said.

Penny gave a huge yawn and stood up, "I'm gonna head back home."

Leonard stood with her, "I'd like to make it up to you too. For being the way I was."

His puppy dog look made her instinctively give him a hug as her mind started whirling with possibilities. "I'll think of something sweetie." She told him.

Being an affectionate person was a part of who she was. So it was only natural that she gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she broke their hug. As she pulled away she saw Sheldon, still as a statue, in the hallway and gave him a smile.

"If you plan having coitus, would you be so kind as to have it at Penny's apartment?" Penny's smile vanished as he turned around and quietly closed his bedroom door behind him.

"I am either gonna beat the shit out of him or kiss him until his lips fall off. I haven't decided which yet." Penny announced to the room.

"Well, goodnight." Leonard said the suddenly empty living room.

"Not knocking before you enter my bedroom is starting to become a habit." Sheldon told her when she banged the door open.

"How did you know it was me?" Penny was curious.

"Leonard is too busy trying to re-gain my good graces to ignore my rules."

"Ok, I'm just gonna get right to the point because it's pointless to beat around the bush with you. Why do you think that Leonard and I are gonna have sex?"

"Penny, I'm a scientist. I have been observing everything I could since I was six months old. From everything that I have observed and based on Leonard's patterns when it comes to the opposite sex, I give it two days to four months before you relent and allow him intimate contact."

Penny just stared at him for a minute, "You're fucking crazy." She started to mouth Sheldon's response.

"I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested. Penny, I do not appreciate you mocking me. It is juvenile and beneath me."

"Well you tell me, oh great observer of everything ever, what makes you think that Leonard and I are gonna have sex?" She repeated as calmly as she could.

"Observation one; you agreed to go on a date after kissing Leonard. However I would like to inform you that the so called 'spark' you claim to feel is merely your body's reaction to dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin when your body experiences sexual arousal. Observation two; the night before we left for...for the place, we watched _A New Hope_. This is Leonard's favorite of the Star Wars franchise. Observation three; you always sit next to him which indicates a desire to initiate physical intimacy."

"I'm wrong, you're not crazy. You're stupid." She waved her hand to cut him off before he could begin a rant. "Observation one; that date ended before it even began. It was like eating dinner with my brother. And all I understood of the rest of what you said was that you freaky science people found a formula for love. Observation two; _A New Hope_ is your favorite too you idiot. Observation three; I sit in the middle of the couch. On your right. Following your logic that would indicate a desire to initiate physical intimacy with you!" Never in her life had she been more grateful for her excellent short term memory.

"I...but you..what are you saying?" Penny just smiled at him.

"Exactly what you are saying. I'm attracted a person who lives in 4A. But it's not the person you think it is."

Penny gently but firmly pulled his head towards her as she leaned up on her toes to meet him half way.

At first he was stiff and unresponsive and Penny started having second thoughts. Just when she was about to pull away and apologize he changed. Hesitantly he changed the angle of his head and started to participate. Sweet open mouth kisses were exchanged and Penny gave a slight giggle as Sheldon's hands kept moving from her shoulders to her back to her waist. It was almost as if he couldn't decide where to place them.

"We clear now?" Penny whispered as she slowly pulled away.

"Yeah." Sheldon replied, his voice thick and is accent heavy, "We clear."

**A/N: Apparently Leonard is like Penny. Doesn't know when to shut up! I just really didn't want to make him the bad guy. He's the bad guy in too many other stories and the character deserves a break in my opinion. The science stuff Sheldon said I took directly from Wikipedia. Blame them if it's wrong. Again, working without a Beta over here. Much love for all the reviews I've gotten! **


	26. Chapter 26

_10:50 in the morning and Sheldon knocks on my door. He couldn't wait ten minutes apparently. _

_Nutbag wants me to sign a contract for our 'new paradigm'. _

_No._

_Just, no._

_I'm not trying to buy a car, or a house. I'm not merging multimillion dollar companies. _

_That means I don't need a contract._

_But then I realize that he has never had a romantic relationship before. He needs something familiar. Something to make him feel safe._

_I'm still not signing a contract though. _

_Expectations though, that's different. Things that we both want out of the relationship, keep us both on the same page. _

_That I can do._

_Then he completely alters my world. Mind Blown. Blown out the window of a twenty story building. _

_How could no one know that he had been with someone? _

_It's kinda sad. I liked the idea of being his first. But...there is something to be said for a man who knows what he's doing..._

* * *

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny." Ten before eleven. He should get punched in the throat for this.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny" Penny hovered by the door, waiting for the final round.

_Knock knock knock_

"Penny" Ah, there it is. Penny opened the door, a sincere smile on her face.

"Hi Sheldon." She said sweetly, "Wanna come in?"

Nodding, he entered and sat in his spot. "I am given to understand that we have altered our social paradigm to include a romantic aspect. Is this true?"

Penny quickly ran that through her Sheldon translator, "Yeah. I mean, I thought so." Slowly so Sheldon could see what she was doing, she sat down next to him and held his hand. "Is that what you want?"

"Oh, indeed." Penny grinned and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Which brings me to the purpose of my visit." He excitedly handed her a large stack of paper that she didn't even notice he had.

She read the first page out loud, "The Penny-Sheldon romantic relationship agreement." She flipped through the pages, not really reading it, but trying to wrap her head around the fact that in under twenty four hours Sheldon had put this together. "Sheldon, you can't be serious."

"I assure you that I am. I even put your name first which should indicate my desire to have a successful relationship with you."

Penny just stared at him for a second.

"No, yeah I get that. I really want this to work too. And I'm really impressed with all the work that you put into this." She glanced down at the contract again. "This looks like you put a lot of thought and effort into our relationship and it's not even one day old."

"Is that wrong?" Sheldon looked worried.

"No, it's not wrong!" Penny was quick to assure him, "Just not what I'm used to is all."

"I tend to excel at whatever I attempt." Sheldon said with a smug voice, "Please read this at your leisure and sign at the indicated areas."

"No." Penny's voice was soft but firm.

"Penny, a contract is very beneficial to both parties. We each know what expectations there are, how to handle disputes..."

"Ties do not end in you making the final decision Sheldon!"

Sheldon had the nerve to look affronted, "I would never suggest such a thing. However, if that sentiment happened to cross your mind I would not object to adding it in."

"No contracts Sheldon." The softness in her voice was starting to leave.

"You didn't even read it Penny." He dropped his gaze to the contract she still read in her hands. "You didn't even read it yet." Penny had been around Sheldon long enough to hear the vague disappointment in his voice.

With over exaggerated care Penny placed the contract on her coffee table and took his hands. "Sweetie, I know that you enjoy control. You don't like surprises. I get that, I really do. But Sheldon, you can't do that to a relationship otherwise it will never be able to grow."

"My I suggest a framework contract then?" He asked hopefully.

"What is that?" Sheldon took a deep breath as his posture assumed lecture mode. "Just give me the cliffs notes version sweetie."

Obviously deflated Sheldon answered her, "A framework contract is much like what the United States Constitution is supposed to be. Ratified in 1788 it was meant to grow alongside society. We could have such a contract if you desire." He offered hopefully.

Penny blinked quickly. "Ok, why do you smile every time I blink?"

Sheldon's smile grew, "You do that when you are thinking." He tilted his head slightly, "For some reason I find it quite endearing." Penny blushed and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"That's sweet, but I'm still not signing a contract."

"Penny, why not?" He practically whined.

"Because we don't need one Sheldon." She said firmly.

"I disagree. Our neighbor agreement has benefited both of us on numerous occasions." Sheldon pointed out. The smile on his face said that he thought he had won.

"We haven't been just neighbors for a long time. Your argument is invalid." Was the very smug response.

Sheldon looked upset and pleased all at the same time. "Very good Penny. I believe, however, that we are at a conundrum. I like to know what is going to happen, what is expected. I dislike just 'winging it'" Then he added almost absentmindedly, "I understand that to be the popular colloquialism."

Penny leaned away from him and rested her head on the back of her couch. Why was he painting himself in a corner? Did he really not want this? Was he forcing her to take an out? Did he not want this as badly as she did? Without realizing she gave a slight sigh.

"I know that it isn't normal, wanting contracts for relationships. I'm aware that I follow the beat to my own drummer as Meemaw says. I truly want this to work, however I cannot see me entering into a relationship with anyone without a contract." Sheldon said quietly with a trace of hurt in his voice. "I assumed you would understand." Quietly he stood and left.

* * *

Five minutes. How long Penny sat on the couch before starting her own pity party.

Two. How many glasses of her favorite red wine she had. The buzz kinda threw her off until she realized she hadn't had any alcohol since the boys left the Arctic.

One. The lone contract sitting on her coffee table. As if moving in slow motion, Penny moved to pick it up, grabbed her granny's blanket from the back of the couch, and then settled in her favorite chair.

For awhile she just stared at it, almost scared to open the cover. Penny ran her fingers over the title, noticing for the first time that she didn't use the font he always did for his contracts and papers for work. It was pretty, curly and loopy and everything that Penny loved when she would type up love letters to her boyfriends in high school from the family computer.

"Coward." She said to herself before she turned the page.

And saw a table of contents. Who the hell does that?

One, one, one. One dictionary, one thesaurus, and one pot of coffee later and Penny was starting to get a headache.

For someone who had never been in a relationship before, Sheldon had thought of everything. How to take turns picking movies, when it was acceptable to display affection, where to go for an appropriate date. He even had bookmarked when he would be comfortable having coitus. He probably thought that he was just being thorough.

Penny thought that he was sucking the romance out of everything.

But then again, just because Penny had a lot of relationships didn't mean she was an expert in them. It didn't mean she had more experience, it just meant she knew what not to do.

She still wasn't signing a contract though.

With that in mind she headed over to 4A.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Sheldon." Penny gave a silent giggle.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Sheldon." He was gonna be upset.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Sheldon." Worth it.

Slowly he opened the door, eyebrow raised.

"May I come in?" Penny asked in a cheerful voice. Sheldon nodded and opened the door wider before stepping back. "Is Leonard here?" she asked, still maintaining her happy voice. Sheldon assumed what Penny privately called his thinking face, and shook his head no. "Good." Penny responded in an entirely different voice.

Before quickly pulling his head down to meet hers. She waited until his body relaxed and his head turned to a more comfortable angle before deepening their kiss. When she felt Sheldon's mouth open under hers and his large hands found their way to her hips Penny couldn't help but shiver happily. She felt herself moving and couldn't help the moan that came out of throat when she felt him push her against the door.

It seemed to break Sheldon out of it and he quickly pulled himself away, muttering apologies.

"I'm not sorry." Penny said defiantly.

"I was under the assumption that you no longer wish to change our social paradigm." Sheldon told her with a shaky voice.

Penny gave a smirk. Ha! She wasn't the only one affected by what just happened. "I never said that."

"You have read the contract?" Sheldon asked. Penny nodded in answer. "So you are willing to sign it?" Even if you had never met Sheldon you would have been able to detect the hope in his voice.

"I never said that either." Sheldon's face immediately went blank, waiting for the worst. "I do agree that we need to know what each of us expect though. Guidelines. It could be a verbal contract." Penny offered.

Sheldon moved and sat down in his spot. Penny sat on the opposite side of the couch, trying to give him the space he needed to think everything through.

"Why aren't you sitting in your spot? That is not your spot." Sheldon snapped.

With an obvious roll of her eyes, Penny scooted over to the middle. "Better?"

"Indeed." Sheldon said, satisfied. "Penny?" He asked, his voice much more uncertain. "Could we still make a list?" At Penny's look he rushed to explain. "Since you do not have an eidetic memory, unlike myself, it would be impossible for you to always retain the guidelines to our relationship. A written list of our expectations would be better. That way no one could assign blame to the other for not following the rules."

Penny blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what flowed out of his mouth. "Ok."

Sheldon looked shocked. "Ok? That's it? You're not gonna flip out and demand it your way or the highway? Your not gonna scream until you get your way?" The Texas drawl made her smile.

"Sheldon, we need to compromise. We are two very different people. I have a feeling we are gonna compromise a lot. You are over coming a lot to try to be in a relationship with me. I gotta meet you half way too. Besides," she added as an afterthought. "it's your first relationship. You need to be comfortable."

Sheldon looked affronted, "Penny. This isn't my first relationship. It would be my third of a romantic variety."

Penny looked shocked. "No shit. Really?" It was like being told that Santa didn't exist but you still got the presents because your little sister still believed. "Why do I not know that?"

Sheldon smiled and tapped her nose lightly. "You will learn that I keep my private life just that, private."

"When?" Penny asked. "When were you with someone?" Twice apparently, since this was his 'third romantic relationship.

"Penny." Sheldon acted like he was surprised that she didn't figure it out, "I was a teenage boy, by myself, in Germany. Do you really need a further explanation?"

**A/N: Twofer time! This chapter and the next. No reason, just cause I love you guys.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Penny and Sheldon's rules for a relationship.**

These rules are made in no particular order. They are all equal in terms of importance.

1. Infidelity is grounds for an immediate relationship termination.

_You cheat on me and I will make every bully in your childhood look like Winnie the Pooh!_

2. Dishonesty is intolerable.

_Don't lie to me. Unless I ask if an outfit makes me look fat. The correct answer to that is always going to be 'you look great.'_

3. Physical and\or mental abuse is cause for immediate relationship termination.

_If you ever hit me you will only do it once. Understand Einstein?_

4. Science is a high priority.

_I get that science gives you all sorts of mental hard-ons, but you need to let me know when you are gonna be late or you and I will have problems._

5. Compliments, while not required, are appreciated.

_Flattery may not get you everywhere, but it helps._

6. Arguments are unavoidable, however they must come to a conclusion.

_I'm gonna make you mad, and you're going to annoy the hell outta me. Once we've cooled down, we'll talk about it._

7. Public physical displays of affection are unnecessary

_I'm not asking you to make out with me in the middle of the street. But I will hold your hand every now and then. Your apartment is free game, but I'll be discreet when the guys are there._

8. Recognition of the new paradigm shift should be displayed when meeting and parting.

_Just a peck on the cheek or a hug when we see each other for the first time that day and when we leave each other for the evening. Not really too much to ask is it?_

9. Mutual interest should be considered when planning outings.

_I'll try to find stuff you like to do on our dates if you do the same Moonpie. Promise._

10. Dates need to be planned at least twenty-four hours in advance.

_I have your schedule memorized. I'll try to be considerate, but if something springs up suddenly I might want to take you. Be prepared._

11. Coitus will happen eventually. An emotional bond needs to be formed first.

_We need to know each other on this level first, the physical stuff can happen later as long as it does happen!_

12. Respect for each other should remain a constant.

_You respect me and I'll respect you. It's really that simple._

13. Sarcasm should be used at minimum.

_I'm a sarcastic person, get over it. I will let you know when I am using it just in case you don't notice it._

14. Terms of endearment are not needed.

_I already call you sweetie. I'll probably call you nice and not so nice names in the future. You don't have to call me anything but Penny though. I won't get mad. Promise._

15. Issues need to be addressed as they arise.

_If I have a problem with you, you will be the first to know. Trust me. I expect the same in return._

The day after Penny and Sheldon made guidelines for their new relationship Penny wasn't really surprised when Sheldon knocked, kissed her gently on the forehead, and gave her three copies.

Once was even printed up so that it would fit in her wallet.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to pump these two out. Truth be told this was made before I sent the boys off to the Arctic. The chapter before it was giving me problems. Add writer's block to family visiting for Easter and getting my friend's costume made in time...well, it's been pretty busy around here.**


	28. Chapter 28

_I didn't have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon and isn't that just a little bit sad? _

_I head over to Sheldon's apartment, bored, only to hear the guys ribbing Sheldon. That really isn't anything new._

_They were mocking us._

_Well, that is new. _

_I never really minded them making fun of Sheldon before. But, now it's different. Obviously different. _

_I prove my point that we aren't just playing a big joke on everyone, then find that I am in violation of rule 7. Maybe it is a good thing that he wrote them down... I'm not gonna tell him that though. No need to inflate his ego any more than it already is. _

_We are going out though. On a real date._

_That sounds stupid coming from a full-grown woman, but most of my dates just seemed to be something the guy had to suffer through to get to third base. Prefunctionary, Sheldon calls it._

_Usually I'm worried that the guy will screw it up. He'll push me too far physically too fast, or he is a jerk, or I turn him into a jerk. _

_Now I'm scared this won't work. This has the potential to be something really great. I just don't wanna screw this up._

* * *

Penny was slowly walking up the stairs to her apartment, second guessing everything that she did on her audition for a tampon commercial. Ah the glamorous world of Hollywood.

She was fully intent on going home, blowing off vintage video game night, and soaking in the tub for at least a full hour.

That was until she heard the boys. All four of them seemed to be there. Three of them seemed intent on making fun of Sheldon until he cried, or tried to blow up their minds. You never could tell what he was gonna do until he does it. Penny should have shrugged it off. She should have just gone into her apartment, content with the knowledge that Sheldon will eventually get fed up with them and banish them all from his presence until they can apologize. It was obviously a private conversation, based on how they were talking.

Never listen to private conversations. You will never hear anything good about yourself.

Penny believes this, she truly does.

She also believes that if you are screaming your conversation so that it can be heard through your front door that it is no longer private. It's open season.

So she stood there and listened and refused to feel guilty about it.

"You're telling me that you and Penny, the cheesecake scented goddess from across the hall, are an item? A physical item? One that hugs and kisses and strokes each others naughty bits?" Classy Howard. Really classy.

"I fail to see how the shift in Penny's and my relationship has anything to do with you, but yes." Sheldon confirmed.

"Dude, how did that happen? Was she drunk?" Raj asked.

"Good question. She does like her alcohol." Howard added.

"Don't make her seem like a drunk, Howard." Leonard put in.

"I'm not!" Howard sounded offended, "I'm just trying to figure out what universe I woke up in this morning because it is not the same one I was in last night if Sheldon and Penny are together."

"Gentlemen, this conversation is beneath our intelligence. Can we please begin vintage video game night?" Sheldon was exasperated.

Penny slightly opened the door. Sheldon immediately noticed but somehow he read her mind and ignored her.

"Seriously, what did you do?" Howard asked, "Because I have been after that sweet piece of ass for almost three years and she never showed any interest in smart guys."

"Maybe because I went after the smartest of them all? And he's a doctor to boot." Penny stated as she causally strolled into the room with Sheldon in her sights.

She ignored the faint apologies that Howard was stammering out she headed straight to Sheldon a smile on her face.

Then she pulled him down for a kiss. It was like kissing a stone at first, and Penny slowly encouraged him to participate. When it was obvious that he was not a willing participant, she backed away.

And looked at an angry Sheldon.

"If you insist on violating the rules, I wonder why you even agreed to them in the first place." This time he smiled before she could blink.

Bastard.

"What are you talking about?"

"Guideline seven of our relationship. Physical displays of affection." Sheldon informed her. "I believe that we need to implement some sort of system for when one of us disobeys the rules." He pondered aloud.

Penny ignored the laughter from the peanut gallery because she was too focused on the small smile that was on Sheldon's face. You could only spot it if you knew what to look for.

That little sneak! He knew what he was saying.

Penny quickly pulled out her wallet and looked at her list.

"Well you violated rule eight! A hug or a kiss when we see each other for the first time. Maybe I ought to come up with a way to punish you instead." She flirted.

"If you would re-consult your list, you would see that we did exchange physical contact. You initiated it." Sheldon said blandly.

"Wait, this isn't a joke." Howard said in awe. "You two are actually going out. How did this happen?"

Sheldon opened his mouth, ready and willing to explain. Before he could open his mouth Penny clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Our relationship is just that, ours." Penny said firmly and slowly lowered her hand.

"Penny, are you aware that there are approximately one thousand five hundred germs per square inch on your hand at any given moment? And you put you hand over my mouth?" Penny just stared at him.

"Then go brush your teeth." Penny deadpanned.

"Sarcasm?" Penny shook her head no. "Very well." Sheldon practically ran to the bathroom.

Once he was out of sight Penny turned her attention to Howard and Raj.

"Listen up because I am only going to say this one time. Leonard is trying to be his friend, trying to make up for what you guys did to him up there, so I know he isn't going to make fun of him for this. If I find out that you two are making fun of our relationship I will make life very difficult for you. Very. Difficult. Understand?"

* * *

Later on that evening, after Howard and Raj had left and Leonard went to his room for the night, Penny watched Sheldon fuss as he put up the controllers.

"So that was fun."

"Indeed." Sheldon said as he unhooked his Super Nintendo, "Donkey Kong, released in 1994, was always one of my favorites. There are a plethora of secrets to find. Of course I found them all by the second time I played."

He should have sounded pompous. It should have annoyed her to hear him be so smug. She should have rolled her eyes and flounced away to the safety of her apartment.

Instead she smiled. He just sounded excited to her, genuinely happy that he figured out all of the game's secrets.

As he settled into his spot beside her, instinct made Penny grab his hand.

"Penny!" Sheldon seemed shocked.

"Sheldon!" she mimicked, not letting him pull his hand away from hers.

"I told you that I was uncomfortable with public displays of affection." He said sternly.

"Sheldon, sweetie, we are alone. There is no one else in the room. Leonard is in his room doing whatever it is Leonard does when he's by himself. This isn't public, this is just us."

"Do you not recall my telling you how many germs are on the human hand?" Penny pulled away, confused.

"Let me get this straight, it's ok for you to put your tongue in my mouth and push me against that door" she gestured widely in the vague direction of his front door, "But it's not ok to hold my hand? Please explain that logic to me Sheldon. Make me understand." She demanded.

"I don't know." Sheldon whispered, staring at their joined hands. "I honestly have no clue. When I kiss you my mind doesn't function properly." His head snapped up to look at her, "My current theory is that when we engage in physical intimacy the subcortical regions of my brain over-ride my concern over the exposure to your germs."

"Your sub-a-what?"

Sheldon heaved a sigh, "What you would refer to as the pleasure center of the brain."

Penny leaned back and stared at him for a second before leaning over him to grab the hand sanitizer he kept on the small table. Pouring a healthy dollop on her hands she rubbed them together vigorously, then took his hand again.

"Better?" She asked him.

"Actually, yes." Sheldon said surprised. "I'm surprised that you thought of that."

Over three years Penny had gotten very good at understanding Sheldon, so she didn't get angry.

Instead she asked, "Surprised that I thought of it or surprised that you didn't?" Sheldon just stared at her. "A combination of the two?" Penny guessed.

Thoughtfully he nodded in agreement.

"Sheldon," She began carefully, "I wanna go on a date."

"You would like to go on a date with me." He interrupted, "Wanna is not a word."

"I said it, so it's a word." Penny said sharply. She continued in a gentler voice, "Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

"Is this your twenty-four hour notice?"

"Yes." Was the firm answer.

"Very well. I will agree to out on a date with you if we can go on Sunday afternoon. Howard canceled our previously scheduled kite fighting exercise."

Penny mentally ran through her work schedule. "I have to be at work at five, so yeah, the afternoon can work."

"Acceptable. I trust that you will pick an activity that both of us will find enjoyment in?" Sheldon asked with a raised eyebrow.

Suddenly anxiety gripped her. How is she going to please the all mighty Sheldon Cooper? He gets pissy if he doesn't have the correct number of onion rings on his plate. He bitches when someone else gets a comic book before he does. He demands the world to kneel before him.

"I'll do my best." Was all she said.

**A/N: It amuses me how many people liked the rules I gave Sheldon and Penny. Let me just say that those rules are loosely based on how my husband and I run things. Question for you guys. Where should Penny take Sheldon on their first date? Should Sheldon like it? Any ideas?**


	29. Chapter 29

_So Sheldon was all pissy cause I won't tell him where we are going. I know that he doesn't like surprises, but he is gonna love this. I had to cash in a bunch of favors, but I made it happen. I'm just hoping that he doesn't freak out. There is going to be people and he isn't good with crowds. Pretty sure that it's gonna be worth it. _

_I'm prepared though. Dug out an old bookbag from my closet and filled it with stuff that I think will make things go a bit more smoothly._

_Almost time and the butterflies are starting to dance in my stomach. Pretty sure they just learned the tango._

_And there's his knock. He's punctual, I'll give him that._

_Here goes nothing._

* * *

Penny closed her journal and hid it quickly under the couch cushions before opening the door to greet Sheldon. "Hello sweetie." She said in a fake British accent and was rewarded with Sheldon's gaspy laugh.

"Penny." Sheldon greeted her with a small peck to the cheek. "Are you ready for our outing?" Penny nodded and gestured to her slightly stuffed bookbag lying next to her couch. Sheldon looked at it warily, "I trust that you have taken my interests into account while planning this afternoon's activities?"

"Yes Sheldon." She answered as they left her apartment and locked her door.

"You have given yourself ample time for us to return home and for you to ready yourself for work?"

"Yes Sheldon." Two floors down, two to go.

"Good. I dislike feeling rushed." He said with satisfaction. "Since you are the one who proposed we go out in public, are you aware that custom dictates that you are the one to pay?"

"Yes Sheldon." They exited the building in a silence that Penny was grateful for.

They entered the car and Penny started the engine. It was no surprise that Sheldon zeroed in on the check engine light.

"Penny, your check engine light is still on."

"Is it?" Penny pretended to be shocked. "Wow, I never would have known if it wasn't for you. Thank you so much." Then she tapped his shoulder.

"Why did you tap my shoulder?" He seemed genuinely confused.

"Rule thirteen!" Penny exclaimed in a cheery voice. "I decided that my signal for when I use sarcasm will be tapping you on the shoulder. That way you always know." She nodded her head for emphasis.

"Is there any way you could accomplish this without touching me?" Was the rejoinder.

"No." She informed him primly. "If you can handle making out with me then you can handle me touching your shoulder while you are wearing two shirts. Get over it."

* * *

"The zoo?" Sheldon asked her as she paralleled parked her car successfully on the first try. "You are taking me to the zoo?"

Penny nodded her answer to an obvious question and quickly got out of the car, Sheldon following closely behind.

She paid for their admission and pulled a detailed map of the zoo out of one of the pockets in her bookbag. "We have two hours to go where ever you want except for the koalas. That exhibit is closed for renovations. After that you have to follow me and keep your trap shut until we get to your surprise. Deal?" Sheldon quickly nodded his understanding. "Good. Where to first?"

Sheldon studied the map closely. "To maximize our time here we should start with the bears, even if it is against my better judgment. If we make a circle and spend only five minutes at each exhibit we should be finished before your time restraint for my surprise." He spat out surprise like it was a dirty word.

Penny couldn't help but ask, "Why are bears against your better judgment?" She started digging into her bookbag.

Sheldon gave her a look that said she should be smarter than that, "Penny. Bears are terrifying."

She found what she was looking for and gave a slight smile of satisfaction. Then she pulled out a large bottle of hand sanitizer and rubbed her hands down before grabbing his hand in one of hers.

"Ok! Lead on McDuff!" She started dragging him along, ignoring the odd looks people were giving them. She was so excited about what she had in store for Sheldon that she almost missed his whispered thank you for sanitizing her hands before molesting him.

About forty five minutes into their circuit around the zoo and Sheldon found something else to complain about. "Penny. While I am grateful that you tried to find an activity that both of us would enjoy, being outdoors for this long without protection is an invitation for melanoma."

Penny turned her attention from the elephants playing with a basketball to stare at Sheldon with the same intensity.

"Seriously Sheldon? Are you having any fun at all?" She really tried to find something that he would enjoy and she wouldn't be bored to tears with.

"Yes, I am." Sheldon started to fidget, "Penny, we really shouldn't take the dangers of melanoma lightly."

"But you are enjoying yourself?" She confirmed before opening her bookbag.

"I was, yes."

Penny did a small search before triumphantly waving a bottle of sunblock in his face. "Problem solved Moonpie."

Sheldon smiled. "I do applaud your forethought. And only Meemaw is allowed to call me Moonpie."

* * *

"Penny, you informed me that this exhibit was closed."

Penny giggled. "Yup."

Sheldon looked indignant, "You lied."

"You catch on quick, don't ya." She said with a light tap to his shoulder.

Sheldon turned his attention to the koalas, a smile on his face. It was when Penny noticed the absolute silence that she turned to look at him.

Throughout the entire day, Sheldon had been one walking encyclopedia. He would read the little plaque that was by each exhibit out loud, then tell her more about the animal than she thought anyone would ever know about anything. He would mock how the enclosures were set up. 'Lions would never have that type of sand.' 'Elephants do not get tires in the wild.' Things like that.

Now it was different. He just stood there, one hand being held loosely by Penny's, the other pressed up against the cage.

Concerned Penny asked, "Sweetie, are you – "

Sheldon quickly interrupted her, "Penny your voice, while pleasant to me, may frighten the koalas. They are delicate creatures. Please refrain from talking."

"My voice is pleasant to you?" She tried to confirm.

"Penny!"

"Well then," Penny said a bit upset, "maybe I should take you to your surprise. That way your precious little koalas are safe. Koala bears that is!" Not listening to Sheldon rant about how koalas are actually marsupials, she pulled Sheldon away from the animals and headed around the back.

"Penny, there are clear signs posted saying employees only. Some even clearly say keep out." Sheldon pointed out nervously. "You must have gone the wrong way, we need to turn around."

"Don't be such a baby. We'll be fine." She ignored Sheldon's alarmed look and headed toward a slightly large man who was leaning against the building, looking bored. "Hi. Are you Jerry?" Penny asked, waving away Sheldon's whispering about talking to strange men.

"That's me. You Penny?" She nodded. "Follow me. Don't touch unless I say that you can." He ordered and slipped inside.

"Penny. I do not trust this man. We should leave." She turned to look into his concerned face.

"Sweetie, please trust me. I know that you don't like surprises, but I had to cash in a lot of favors and take on extra shifts for the foreseeable future. His name is Jerry. He is Kerry's big brother. You remember Kerry right? She didn't give you the right amount of napkins at the Cheesecake Factory last week and you almost bit her head off? Just go with it." Penny almost pleaded.

"Fine." Sheldon agreed in a flat voice. "But you are solely responsible for any physical or mental damage done against my person." He smiled when Penny's eyes lit up.

He frowned when she tugged him inside, complaining that she would do untold damage to his shoulder.

He wrinkled his nose at the smell, and Penny was pretty sure he was mentally disinfecting the place.

He gave a gaspy laugh of joy when they caught up to Jerry.

"Is that the new baby koala that was born two months ago?" Sheldon asked Jerry in an excited voice.

"Yup. This is Maybell." Jerry said with all of the pride he could. "Ain't she a beaut?"

Penny was amazed that Sheldon didn't give the poor man a three hour lecture on how to speak properly. She had been on the wrong end of that stick a couple of times. The lack of Sheldon talking may have something to do with the fact that Jerry made him sit down before showing him how to properly hold a baby koala.

She knelt down beside Sheldon. "If I knew that all I had to do to shut you up was give you a baby koala, I would have done it years ago." She said with a gentle tap to his shoulder.

* * *

On the way to the restaurant Sheldon didn't say one word about the check engine light. He was too busy talking about holding a koala.

"Of course once I get home I will have to do research, but the odds of not being a zoologist and having the chance to hold a baby koala! I will require copies of the pictures you took without my permission."

"I knew that you would want a pic or two of holding Maybell so shut your face." Penny stated clearly as she pulled into a parking spot.

"Penny, this isn't an approved establishment. May I suggest the Cheesecake Factory for lunch? They are approved."

Penny leveled him with a stare. "Seriously? No, just no. I have to be there in two hours to work. I am not eating there today. End of discussion."

"Yes Penny." He replied meekly.

"See, this isn't so bad." Penny stated in an upbeat voice once they were seated. She had done her research. It had a fancy A sticker on the window (and she would never tell him that food places could still get away with a lot even with that grade), real silverware, and so far the waitress hasn't touched or flirted with either of them. "And we can get pizza just the way you like it. All I ask is that you let me be the one to order." At Sheldon's puzzled look she continued, "If people don't know you, well...they tend to think that you aren't...you just...I can interact with people better than you can." Way to be delicate.

Penny waited for the Sheldon fit that would happen when someone says that they are better than him at anything. "Agreed."

She tilted her head at him, "You just agreed that I could do something better than you. Are you sick?"

"Joke?"

"Fifty-fifty." She replied waving her hand to demonstrate.

"Ah." Sheldon gave his gaspy laugh, "Of course you interact in a social setting better than I. That is a fact. Why would I argue with conclusive data?"

Penny just stared at him. "That might be one of the most romantic things that I have ever heard come out of your mouth."

She smiled as she watched him blush a deep red and look down at the table.

"We need to leave. The cutlery is sub-par." Sheldon said in a very panicky voice.

"What?" Penny thought that things were going well. Trust him to freak out about nothing. "What's wrong with the silverware?"

Sheldon held up a fork to demonstrate, "This fork only has three prongs. This is no longer a fork, it is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas." He shook his head at her, like he couldn't believe she didn't know something so simple.

Penny said nothing, she simply picked up her bookbag and started digging. She pulled out a plastic bag that had a fork, knife, and spoon inside. "Happy?" She asked tartly.

"I'm not unhappy." He replied.

**A/N: I am sorry that it took so long to get this up. I try to update once a week but the real world interfered with my play time for awhile. Everything is good now. I tried to have a conclusive ending to their date, but Sheldon refuses to rush. Penny and I are having problems getting through to him! Lol. Did anyone notice that I asked for suggestions and then turned around and didn't use any of them? Sorry, caught the episode where Sheldon says he has a koala smile. Things took over from there!**


	30. Chapter 30

_I need to calm down. _

_I need to breathe._

_I need a nice hot bath with some lavender oil._

_I need a glass of wine._

_I need to beat Sheldon upside the head with a bowling pin and then tie him up and throw him in my trunk. Then I could throw him in the ocean to swim with the fishes._

_Apparently I also need to stop watching The Godfather and Scarface. I kinda scared myself with that one._

_In all fairness the bastard is trying to alter my 'unacceptable behavior' with chocolate. _

_Dark chocolate from Belgium. _

_NOT FAIR._

_If you have a problem with me then you need to talk to me about it. I honestly can't tell if he thought that I wouldn't notice, was being a passive-aggressive idiot, or thought that I'd be grateful or something. _

_Cause absolutely everything he does is wonderful and perfect. _

_Oh wait, Sheldon is the one who taught me that there is absolutely nothing absolute about absolutes. _

_So I guess he isn't perfect either, now is he?_

_And the day had started off so well._

* * *

Penny was in a great mood. She had just returned from an audition and even if she didn't get it, it was the best response that she had gotten in a long time. She practically bounced up the steps, completely ignored her front door, and waltzed into 4A.

"Hey Sheldon." She almost squealed when she spotted him at his desk. Penny wrapped her arms around him and kissed his temple.

"Penny." Sheldon said as warmly as he could, and turned to give her an awkward hug.

"You're getting better at that." She informed him appreciatively.

"Thank you." He said as he headed towards his spot, "Would you like a chocolate?"

"What kind?" Was the quick question.

"Dark Chocolate truffle." Oh, that's just cheating.

"Yes." Came her quick answer.

So good.

"What movie have you chosen tonight?" Sheldon asked her with a long suffering sigh.

Grateful that he stopped making fun of her choices and still riding high from her audition she said, "I don't really care. You can pick if you wanna." Then she gave him a quick peck.

"Thank you." Sheldon answered, surprised. "Chocolate?" Penny nodded and made sure to flick her tongue against his fingers as she accepted, keeping eye contact the entire time. She was rewarded with his quick intake of air.

The downside to really good chocolate is needing to get the sweet taste out of your mouth Penny quickly realized. She popped off of the middle cushion and headed toward the kitchen.

"Do you want anything sweetie?" Her muffled voice came from inside the fridge.

"Water please." He watched her carefully as she grabbed two waters and headed back. "Chocolate?" Penny nodded, "Catch." He informed her right before tossing it, missing the glint her eyes.

She followed her candy's trajectory closely and caught it.

With her mouth.

She gave a victorious smirk as she flopped down next to him, enjoying the almost flabbergasted look on his face.

"I do not know if that was disgusting or impressive." He told her as she curled up next to his side.

"When in doubt, always go with impressive." She told him sweetly.

* * *

_Big Fat Bass_ started playing through Penny's shorts and she quickly answered her phone.

"Hey Kim! How's the vacation going?" She spared a glance at Sheldon, who had muted the tv and was waiting for her to end the conversation. "Hang on a sec. I'm gonna take this outside." She gave a quick kiss to Sheldon who offered her another chocolate, and then quietly shut the door behind her.

"So how's life?...He got you a dog? How cute!...Well that sucks, does crating work?...I grew up on a farm, I have more experience with horses and pigs than dogs. …...Yeah, we had worker dogs. …..Have you tried treats? …... Yeah, every time he goes outside just give him a treat. Then he'll learn that is what you want him to do." Suddenly a light bulb went off over her head and she gave an unholy shriek. "No, sorry Kim. I saw a bug. ….I know that I'm not scared of bugs, it just startled me is all. Look, I gotta go. ….Yeah, movie night with crazy hamburger guy. See ya in a couple of days!" Penny quietly hit the end button, wishing that it was the old phone that still hung in her parent's kitchen so that she could slam it down in satisfaction. Just pressing a button wasn't the same thing.

She stood in the hallway, fuming.

She felt so stupid. How could she not have caught on to that? How could she not see what he was doing?

That feeling was quickly replaced by anger. Swift, justifying anger flooded her entire body. How dare he? How dare try to do that to her? Trying to modify her...what so wrong with her? Nothing that's what. Sure she wasn't where she wanted to be right now, but she wasn't complaining about it. She was working to change it.

Sheldon turned to look at Penny as she opened the door with a loud bang.

"Rule fifteen buddy boy! Listen to me and listen good. You do not get to treat me like an animal that needs training! I am a human being, not a dog that needs to be trained to go outside! If you have a problem with my behavior, you come to me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? At all?"

Sheldon stood to face her and didn't even have the nerve to look upset. Instead he seemed surprised that she figured it out. "Very good Penny! I must admit, I didn't know if you would figure it out or not."

Penny just stared at him for a second. "I'm sorry, did you just call me stupid?"

"No! Of course not. I have been training Leonard for years and he has never noticed." Then he added almost absentmindedly, "It is no wonder that he is only an experimental physicist."

"Sheldon! This is not ok. Why are you even with me if you can't stand the way I act?" She demanded to know.

"Penny by now you must know that I find ninety percent of you wonderful. I only meant to sand off the rough edges as it were." He tried to explain.

"Well if I'm so rough around the edges why are you with me?" She yelled at him.

"You are deliberately ignoring the rest of my statement." Sheldon was starting to look angry.

"You can't just train me to do what you want me to do Sheldon!"

"Apparently I can."

At least he had the decency to look like he knew that statement should never have been said out loud.

You know what? I'm done" Penny said in a sad voice before quietly closing the door behind her.

* * *

Three unanswered texts, two unanswered calls, and now comes the knocking.

Penny closed her diary and tossed it on the table, then answered the door before Sheldon could complete his knocking ritual.

"What?" She asked him in an irritated voice. "What do you want Sheldon?" She took in his uncertain posture and shy eyes and refused to be moved by it. She was angry and was determined to stay that way for awhile.

"I am uncertain what to do in these kinds of situations Penny. You proclaimed that you were done. Are you done with the argument? The conversation? Or are you ending our new social paradigm?" He ran a hand through his hair and gave an exasperated sigh, "This is the entire reason why I tried to avoid emotional and physical relationships. I strongly dislike uncertainties."

Penny just rolled her eyes. "Look, you have no reason whatsoever to be the injured party here Tex. And I left because I was angry. Still am angry if you wanna know the truth." She sat down in the middle of her sofa, "I just don't understand why you thought that trying to train me with positive reinforcement was a good idea."

"I was unaware that I had broken any sort of social construct." He genuinely looked confused.

She gestured for him to sit by her and when Penny spotted his hesitation she spoke up, "I don't foresee hurting you right now, because you obviously don't understand what you were doing was wrong."

Moving as if he was afraid that any sudden movements would make her change her mind, Sheldon sat down next to her.

"Look," Penny began trying to keep her voice even, "You can't do that. You can't train me to be what you want me to be. Either you like the me the way I am or you don't. Either you wanna be with me or you don't." She made sure to look him in the eyes, "Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes." Sheldon drawled out the word, "I do. However I fail to see how helping you with your shortcomings has anything to do with that."

"You're not perfect either Sheldon! Don't you think that there are some things that I would like to change about you?" Without waiting for a response Penny let him know what she would like to change, "You're condescending to everyone who you think is dumber than you, which is everyone in your not so humble opinion. You constantly need to be right, and you very rarely care at what cost. You are so controlling that you won't even take a shit unless it is written in on your schedule! You are so emotionally suppressed, completely self-inflicted by the way, that you can't even understand why giving me candy to make me do what you want is wrong! You won't even say sorry unless your mommy makes you!"

"So having an extremely high IQ, knowledge about several interesting topics, and enjoying a scheduled day are negative things? And I do apologies when I happen to be in the wrong. Forced apologies from one's mother does not count." Sheldon told her in a flat, cold voice.

"You're supposed to be a genius." Penny muttered before throwing herself off of her tiny couch and towards her kitchen. Wine. Penny needed wine.

"That's the problem!" Sheldon shouted at her back, completely surprising Penny. "All of my life I have been told that I was a genius, I was special." He stood up to face in her in complete confrontation mode. He quickly walked over to her and forcibly turned her around, "My entire life." He stressed to her, "I have always been told I was smarter, better than everyone. And then you come around. You come around and you make me feel..."

Sheldon trailed off but Penny wasn't letting him off the hook this time. "Made you feel what Sheldon?" She prodded, slightly poking him in the chest.

"Everything." He stated. "You make me feel happy when you smile at me. Sad when I don't have the opportunity to see you every day. Angry when Howard uses his inappropriate comments about you and your body when you are not in the vicinity. Jealousy when I observe you flirting with customers at work so that they will give you the tip you deserve. Mostly you make me feel stupid and inadequate. You have no idea how that feels."

Sheldon had stated everything as if it was fact. His voice had the same tone he used when explaining her why she was doing laundry wrong, again.

His eyes though...they weren't flat. They weren't challenging or soft, or anything else that she could describe. She had never seen them like that.

He continued, "My initial hypothesis was that if I treated you as I treat my other companions you would no longer make me feel this way. You would no longer affect me in this manner. It failed. If anything it sparks vague tremors of guilt and the same feeling of disappointment I had when I was told I couldn't go to Germany for another year because I was too young."

"So you were trying to treat me like everyone else so that I don't make you feel stupid?" Penny asked. Warily Sheldon nodded his head in agreement. "That is the dumbest thing that I ever heard." She told him with a smile.

He started to pull away from her until he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder.

"Sarcasm." Sheldon said rather than asked.

"Yup." Penny said, making sure she popped the 'p' in the way she knew he hated. She pulled him closer and held him, tucking her head into his neck and closed her eyes.

God how she loved that he was so tall.

"I'm still mad at you for what you did." She whispered into his neck, "I guess I understand why you did it though. You were scared and you fell back on old habits to make yourself feel better. Even though I understand doesn't mean I'm ok with it." She was gonna pull away from him. She was gonna tell him that she needed to be alone for the night and she would see him tomorrow, she needed time to calm down.

Instead she opened her eyes and decided that her teeth and Sheldon's neck needed to become acquainted.

"Sheldon, my teeth itch."

"Impossible. Penny, teeth can't...oh." Sheldon cut himself off when he felt Penny's teeth lightly graze his neck.

She teased him for a minute before lightly biting and nibbling his neck, kissing and licking it to make the sting go away. She mentally smiled when she felt his hand wander to her hips and pulled her flush against him. Penny gently placed her hands across his chest and she couldn't tell you if she was keeping him in place or keeping herself from falling. Sheldon gently kissed her forehead and cheeks before attacking her lips. Penny gasped in surprise and he used that to his advantage and started to explore her mouth with his tongue.

"Am I to understand that we have entered the making up portion of our disagreement?" Sheldon asked her.

How can he talk when he is doing that with his tongue?

Penny carefully slowed down their kissing and pulled away so she could look him in the face.

"Are you still gonna try to train me like a favorite pet?"

Sheldon's answer was quick and definite. "Next time there is a problem with your behavior I will inform you promptly and without chocolate."

"Good." Penny said firmly. "I'll do the same with you." She stepped into his personal space and enjoyed watching his eyes go wide for a minute. Her arms wrapped around Sheldon's neck and she gave a slight tug to pull him closer to her. "Now," She whispered, "Would you like to continue making up?"

She didn't have time to respond before Sheldon swooped down and kissed her.

**A/N: I try to get an update out once a week and so far I have been failing, sorry for that. The chocolate thing...it always bothered me that not only did Penny NEVER catch on, but Leonard never told her as far as the audience knows. Penny says all the time how she grew up on a farm...as someone who has had dogs her entire life let me tell ya, you recognize positive re-enforcement when it's being used. As always thank you for the encouragement and support. I still can't really believe that people read my (not quite) little story!**


	31. Chapter 31

_It's amazing. It has a potential to be life altering!_

_I might actually have a job! A real acting job. A paid job. _

_So it's on the stage and not on tv, so what? It's a foot in the door and that's all I really need. It's validation that I'm doing the right thing with my life, proof that I won't be a waitress for the rest of my life. _

_Ok, it's only a second audition. _

_I need to focus. All that means is that they liked what they saw but they aren't sure. Too many variables as Sheldon would say. _

_I still think that this is cause to celebrate though! I haven't gotten a second audition in a long time. _

_By long time I mean never._

* * *

Penny giggled as she quietly shut the door to Sheldon's bedroom, then made a slight frown in disappointment when she realized that he wasn't there. She was looking to surprise him, it was always fun.

Deciding to amuse herself until he got back, Penny started to walk around his room to find something to entertain her. Nothing really sparked her interest until she spotted the comic books.

It would get her in trouble.

It would more than likely get her a strike.

Sheldon would be so mad.

That decided it, she was going in. Just to make sure he wouldn't be too upset with her, Penny grabbed a pair of disposable gloves before rifling through his collection.

Even she had to admit it was pretty impressive. They were all lined up by publish date, slips of paper told her which titles he was missing. Penny picked up a few that had interesting covers and settled onto his bed.

"Lets see what the big deal is." She murmured to herself before picking up a comic and starting to read.

_Shake, shake, shake_

"Penny."

_Shake, shake, shake_

"Penny"

_Shake, shake, shake_

"Penny."

Penny slowly opened her eyes and stared right into Sheldon's blue ones. He was kneeling on the floor, his hand still on her shoulder where he was shaking her.

"It's like the ocean." She whispered, not quite awake.

Confused Sheldon asked, "Penny, what are you doing in my bedroom? Also, why are my comic books on my bed? Were you looking for something in-particular?"

Penny sat up and glanced around. "Oh, that." she said embarrassed. "I wanted to surprise you, but you weren't here. So, I decided to wait for you instead."

"And rifle through my possessions?" Penny saw his eyebrow shoot up. He was processing something in the big brain of his, but what?

"No, and I'm offended that you would even suggest that. I was just looking for something to entertain myself until you got back." It did seem pretty silly now that she was thinking about it, but she wasn't gonna tell him that.

"You have been told time and time again that you cannot be in my room." Sheldon started in a demanding voice, "I have told you fifty four times that you cannot be in my room. Thirty two of those were when you were in your month long Age of Conan obsession. I fail to see how the message does not stick in your long term memory, you are told it enough." Sheldon started to raise himself off of the floor. "Do you have auditory problems Penny?"

"Listen here Sheldon, I..." Whatever Penny was going to say was abruptly cut off by Sheldon's mouth.

His lips were firmly attached to hers, and suddenly Penny felt her back make contact with the mattress. She gave a slight moan of contentment when she felt his hands begin to wander up and down her thighs before settling on her hips and giving a slight squeeze. Sheldon's mouth moved from her mouth to give her ear a slight nibble before heading to her neck. At first Penny didn't notice, she was too busy enjoying the sensations that were running through her body. Gradually, she started to tune him back in.

If she was hoping to hear sweet nothings, she was sadly mistaken.

Sheldon had moved on to her neck, and gave it a slight bite under her jaw before kissing and licking away the pain. "Can't even follow the simplest of instructions..." He locked one of her legs in between both of his as his hands moved to caress her ribcage, "An obvious request to respect my personal space..." Sheldon's mouth moved down to Penny's clavicle. "Then to go through my private collection..."

"I'm sorry, are you scolding me for going into your room right now?" Penny asked. She didn't know if that was funny or if she should be mad. She pulled his large hands up to cup her breasts, "Don't you think you should be focusing right now?"

Sheldon started to massage and stroke wherever his hands could reach, "Penny." He said softly and then gave her a gentle closed-mouthed kiss, "By now you should know that I am a master at multitasking."

That settled it, laughing it was.

"You are such a dork!" She exclaimed into the room, giggles evident in her voice.

Sheldon smiled at her as he got up and sat on the side of the bed. "Please Penny. I am not a dork. I am a geek, there is a discernible difference."

She gave him another laugh before popping up into a sitting position herself. "I have exciting news. Do you remember the audition that I had a couple of weeks ago?" Without bothering for a response Penny continued, "Of course you do. Anyway, I have second audition! Isn't that great!" Penny squealed.

Sheldon gave her a slightly confused look, "Is repeating the process a desirable outcome?"

Penny nodded, unwilling to let go of her good mood. "It's a very desirable outcome. It means that they are considering me for the part! I'm going to be LouAnn Bates, from The Book of Days. Can you even believe it!" In her mind, it was already a reality.

"While your enthusiasm is admirable, you have not yet secured the role in question. You are not yet this LouAnn Bates."

"Why are you deliberately trying to burst my bubble?" Penny demanded.

Sheldon looked surprised, "I'm not. I am merely trying help you stay disciplined and regain your focus."

"Sheldon, this is the furthest I have ever gotten in the audition process. I am going to enjoy the moment." She waved a finger in his direction, "Don't ruin this for me. Not yet." Penny warned him. In an abrupt change of tone she said, "We should celebrate. Tonight is pizza night. Instead of having it delivered, let's go out? Giacomo's has a diner. What do ya say?"

"It's Thursday. We have pizza delivered on Thursdays."

"Is that a no?" Penny was confused. "Because you didn't say yes or no, but it sounded like a no."

"No. Pizza is delivered. That means it comes to us, we don't go to it." Was the abrupt answer.

She decided to sweeten the pot, "We can go to the comic book store after."

"But Penny..." Sheldon whined.

Penny grabbed a random comic from the bed and gave it a good look. "And you can explain to me why Superman and Wonderwoman are making out in the air. Isn't Superman with Lois Lane? What, he some kind of two timer?" She saw the light in his eyes and knew that he was hooked.

"Penny if you are going to start reading comics, and I strongly suggest that you do, you cannot start there! Good Lord, if it were up to you people would still be living in grass huts." Sheldon said as he started to put his collection away in the proper place.

"Yeah, I know." Penny said as she stood up, "It's amazing people don't laugh and point at me every time I step outside isn't it." She said with a smirk and a small tap to his shoulder. "I'm gonna go grab my purse, however dinner is on you. It's a non-optional way to show that you're happy for my second audition."

* * *

Penny stood nervously in line with the three other girls that they had called back, and she stood out like a sore thumb. The other girls were going all out for the conservative role; their hair pulled up into a tight bun, long sleeved plain shirts, and a plaid skirt. One girl was even wearing loafers.

Penny was dressed conservatively...for Penny. Jeans that weren't tight but still looked good, and a shirt that didn't show off her cleavage. Her hair was just done in a simple braid, a Penny Blossom pinning it back.

"One of these things just doesn't belong." She murmured to herself.

One by one the other girls were called back, Penny was the last one in.

Once she stepped across the stage, all of her nerves disappeared. She hadn't felt like that since her high school plays. It felt like home in a way that cuddling with Sheldon on the couch did.

There wasn't really much difference to a regular audition. There were four people sitting in the front row, acting far too busy to actually pay attention to her. They were talking quietly to themselves, shuffling papers and completely ignoring anything that wasn't on that table.

"My name is Penny, and I'm here for my second audition?" She asked rather than told them.

Not even a glance at her direction.

Penny took a deep breath to calm down, her nerves were starting to come back. She glanced out at the people in front of her, why did they have to act like this? Like they didn't even want to be here? Like they were too important for her?

Sheldon wouldn't have allowed them to treat him like this. Whether you liked him or hated him, he demanded that you paid attention to him. He would have had them listening to every word out of his mouth by the time he hit the stage. He would get their attention, fast.

Penny straightened her shoulders, and held her head high. She summoned her inner LouAnn.

Then she started speaking.

In tongues.

Just like her character would have too.

When she finished, Penny noticed that all four people were staring at her with various degrees of shock and alarm on their faces.

With an arrogance that Sheldon himself would be proud of she said, "My name is Penny, and thank you for considering me for the part of LouAnn."

She calmly left the stage and walked slowly to her car where she hyperventilated for about ten minutes, completely convinced that she blew it. What was she thinking? She wanted their attention, but she didn't want them to put her in the psych ward! God, she is so stupid sometimes. She should have just done the monologue that she had planned.

When Penny finally calmed down enough to drive without getting into a fiery crash, she started the car and checked her phone.

She had a text from Sheldon.

_I believe that it is my duty as your significant other to tell you to break a leg, however that is an abhorrent thought. I am certain that you will succeed in this endeavor and am willing to listen to what happened after I get home from work. _

She hadn't planned on going over to the boy's place tonight. Penny knew how much Sheldon enjoyed his solitude. But now that he mentioned it, cuddling with her genius and watching boring science stuff was looking pretty good right about now.

* * *

**A/N: The Book of Days is a real play. I searched plays with strong female leads and that one kept showing up. I have to say that this is the most pleased that I have been with what I have written. Hope that you enjoyed!**


	32. Chapter 32

_God I hurt. My whole body hurts. _

_I feel like I'm on fire._

_My head feels like it weighs about 45 pounds. _

_Pretty sure it's the flu, which means Sheldon is gonna go all Sheldon on me. _

_No one will be taking care of me, that's for damn sure. _

_What else is new? I can't depend on anyone but myself. Can't trust anyone._

_That's fine, I don't care. I don't need anybody. _

_Especially not some giant praying mantis that only cares about himself. _

* * *

"Miss! Miss! I need more sweet tea!" A lady with an overly loud voice yelled at Penny.

Penny closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose before getting her table a new round of drinks.

"About time." Said the heavy set lady at the table as Penny sat down her fourth diet Coke. Penny just plastered on a smile before heading back the break room. Like the diet soda was really gonna help this poor woman. Everyone knows that a diet Coke doesn't counter-act a double bacon cheeseburger with onion rings, not to mention the appetizer sampler that she was pretty sure the woman ate the most of.

Just five minutes, that's all Penny needed. Five minutes where no one was yelling at her, kids weren't throwing food at her, customers weren't demanding her presence. It had been a rough day, rougher than normal. She came in with a headache that slowly turned itself into a migraine and somehow managed to bump herself into at least three tables so now her side hurt. She dropped four plates and the best tip of the day was only four bucks.

"Penny, why aren't you taking care of your tables?" Her manager asked as he opened the door. Wearily she raised her eyes to meet him. "Penny, are you sick?" He tone of voice had changed to mild concern.

"I hope so, because if this is well life isn't worth living." She unconsciously quoted Sheldon.

"Go home." Her boss said, "And get better quick. A three day weekend is coming up, so you know we are gonna be busy."

Penny just nodded as she slowly and painfully stood up. She was not looking forward to all of those flights of stairs.

* * *

Penny was trudging up the stairs, halfway to her floor when she heard them.

"I fail to see your point." Sheldon's flat voice floated up the stairs and was a welcome sound to her ears. She gave a small smile and leaned against the wall to wait for them.

"My point is that Rose was overused." Leonard said in the nasally voice he gets when someone is trying to prove him wrong. "At first she was an endearing character, but she outlived her usefulness. She was brought back simply as a ratings ploy."

Penny listened as the voices got louder, closer.

"While I agree that Rose has returned multiple times as a way to raise ratings, the character itself has many positive attributes that you are overlooking...oh, hello Penny." Sheldon gave a small smile and moved in to give her a kiss, but suddenly moved away. "Penny, are you ill?"

Penny looked up at him from under her eyelashes. Was he serious? She knew that she looked like shit, because she felt like it as well. She knew her skin was clammy, and could practically feel her sweat come out. She was breathing shallowly and knew that a bruise was forming on her side as proof to how clumsy she was today.

"What was your first clue Sheldon?" Penny asked with a tired voice. She was too exhausted to tap his shoulder, he would have to figure it out on his own.

Sheldon, for his part, looked like a deer in the headlights. If Penny had been feeling better she would have laughed. "Gotta go." He said, almost running the words together he wanted out of there so fast.

Penny watched his back disappear up the stairs faster than the Flash. Then she wondered when she started to think like that and shook her head.

"Do you need help getting up the stairs?" Leonard asked her. She blinked slowly, she seemed to be doing everything in slow motion, before nodded and pushing away from the wall.

"That'd be great, thanks Leonard." He looped his arm around her and allowed her to lean on him while she walked up the last two flights.

Penny smiled when she saw her door, a cold shower to bring down her temperature and cuddling was withing reach. She couldn't cuddle with Sheldon, so her Hello Kitty doll would have to do for a couple of days.

She turned on the shower and let it run while she got undressed. The second she hit the shower she fell to her knees and started heaving, her stomach churning until it finally gave up what she ate that day.

"Oh God." She moaned. That was disgusting. "Flu it is then." She told the floor of the tub. Not bothering to do more than clean herself off, Penny got into her comfy pj's and grabbed her doll and her grandma's quilt before settling in on the couch. Maybe some reality tv would make her feel better.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Penny."

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Penny." Penny was roused out of a dreamless sleep.

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Penny."

"Oh for the love of God, it's open Sheldon!" Ow. Even the sound of her own voice hurt.

She watched the door as Sheldon entered. He was dressed in scrubs that had little spaceships all over it, the gloves on his hands looked about an inch thick. There was a mask over his mouth and he even had a surgeon's mask on.

"I have been informed by Leonard and Howard that when one's girlfriend is ill, one must care for said girlfriend even at the expense of one's own well being. So, here I am." He continued in what was an obviously fake upbeat voice, "Let's get you better!" It was then that he seemed to notice the state of her apartment. "Good Lord, no wonder you have caught a virus! It looks like my living room when I was a child just after tornado season! I believe that the first step to making you feel better will be for me to clean up this travesty." When Penny didn't say anything he seemed to take it as approval and started to clean.

"Whatever makes you feel better." Penny muttered to herself. She watched Sheldon clean off her coffee table for a second before trying to stand up. "Look, sweetie I really appreciate what you're trying to do but..." Before she could tell him that his very presence at this moment in time was annoying her and that he needed to leave her alone until she got over the flu, she fainted.

* * *

"...happy kitty, sleep kitty, purr, purr, purr." Penny kept her eyes closed as Sheldon's song woke her up. She tuned him out a little bit as she took stock of where she was.

Unfamiliar smell, but it did smell like clean. Uncomfortable bed with scratchy sheets. One arm felt like it was tied down. There was an ache in her side that bordered on pain. Sheldon was holding her hand.

"Why are you holding my hand? Aren't you afraid you'll get sick?" She whispered as she turned her head to face him.

"You're awake!" Sheldon looked ecstatic before he schooled his facial expression. "I was slightly concerned for your welfare when you lost consciousness."

Penny mulled that statement over I her head before replying, "I fainted?"

Sheldon gave a grim nod of agreement. "You did. After which I feel that I may have had a minor heart attack, although the paramedics informed me I was mistaken. You were rushed here where it was discovered your appendix was close to rupturing. They preformed an emergency appendectomy."

"I fainted? Really? I've never fainted before." Penny said thoughtfully.

"Yes well, it was quite distressing for me." Sheldon said as he slowly started to stroke her hair. "But it seems that this hospital is not completely filled with inadequate staff."

"This isn't the hospital you go to?" How odd. He wouldn't go to a new restaurant but he would let his girlfriend get surgery in a place that he had never been. How typical.

"Time was of the essence it seemed. I am glad to see that my faith was not misplaced."


	33. Chapter 33

_Oh my god_

_Oh my god!_

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!_

_I GOT THE PART! _

_HA! _

_Take THAT every single person in Nebraska! _

_I can't believe that it's finally happening, I'm finally getting a break._

_Sure, it's not on the big screen like I would have liked, but at least it's something. _

_It's a paying part! _

_On a real stage, like a real actress!_

* * *

Penny flew up the stairs, excited to reach Sheldon.

She banged open the door to 4A and ignored the other three as her eyes zeroed in on Sheldon.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper!" Four heads turned to the front door, one looking more frightened than the rest.

"Even you must admit Penny, your entire apartment looks better now." Sheldon said defensively.

Howard moved over so Penny could plop down in the middle cushion. "I was just messing with ya...wait, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Sheldon tried to look innocent but couldn't completely control the twitch above his eye.

"What. Did. You. Do." She demanded.

He had the decency to look embarrassed when he told her, "I may or may not have created a new organizational paradigm for your apartment and implemented it whilst you were at work." He informed her sheepishly.

"You changed my apartment around? Again?" Penny asked him. Once again she wasn't sure if she wanted to hit him or kiss him. "If I can't find what I want then you better be able to!"

He shook his head at her while he put hand sanitizer on his hands. He laced their fingers together before speaking. "Penny, you will be able to find everything you could possibly want now."

"I'm choosing to ignore that statement because I have exciting news. I got the part! You are looking at LouAnn Bates!" She starting bouncing up and down, "I got it!"

"Congratulations!" Leonard exclaimed, getting up to give her a small hug.

Raj gave her two thumbs up and a big smile.

"Will there be any tasteful nude scenes that are essential to the plot?" Howard asked.

"Howard, that is strike two!" Sheldon and Penny both said.

Penny turned to Sheldon, "Well? What do you think sweetie? I finally got a part! A real acting part with a real director, a real stage, a real paycheck!"

Sheldon studied her a moment before speaking, "Who will serve me my Tuesday evening meal?"

It was Penny's turn to study him, "Really Sheldon? That is all that you have to say? I have finally achieved what I came out here to do and that's all you can say?" Penny stood up to leave, "I really don't care who serves you your damn burger!" She slammed the door behind her.

* * *

_Knock Knock Knock_

"I said go away Sheldon!" Penny yelled, not even bothering to let him finish his knocking this time.

"It's not Sheldon." Came a voice through the door.

"Oh. Go away Howard!" She yelled back.

"Just let me in?" He asked\whined.

Penny got up and unlatched the deadbolt.

Howard walked in and stared right at Penny, "I got the short straw, so here I am."

"Short straw? You guys drew straws to see who I would talk to?" Why does she hang out with these people again?

"You saw The Avengers." When Howard saw that she wasn't getting it he continued, "You go all Incredible Hulk on us when you are upset. Can you really blame us for not wanting to be around you when you're mad?"

Ok, maybe she could see his point. Maybe. But Penny wasn't gonna admit it.

"Don't you think that I have the right to be upset with Sheldon? I mean, I came in with some really big news and all he does it circle it to make it about himself!" Penny was trying to calm down, but thinking about it made her upset all over again.

"Well, what did you expect? You do know that you are dating Sheldon Cooper right? Dr. My Way Or The Highway?" Howard told her.

This wasn't what Penny was expecting to hear. At all. He was Sheldon's friend, he should be sticking up for him.

"So you don't think that I was outta line? That's kinda surprising considering he's your friend and everything." Penny told him. She didn't like that his friends weren't on his side.

"You had good news and he spit all over it. I figured that you would have gone all Junior Rodeo on him." Howard responded. "Things are always about him." He complained, "I don't see why you put up with it for as long as you have. Not when there is something better staring right in front of you." He added on with his eyebrows wagging.

"It's not always about him!" She paused for a minute, "I know what you're doing."

"What am I doing?" Howard asked, clueless.

"You're using reverse physiology on me." Was Penny's sly answer.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." She said with a smile.

"I'm really not. Unless me doing that makes you overcome with gratitude and you wanna let me get some second base action. In that case I'm totally doing it." Penny gave him a smack.

"Gross Howard."

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Penny" Penny turned to look at Sheldon.

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Penny." He did realize that the door was still open right?

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Penny."

"Oh for the love of...Sheldon, it's obvious that the door is open!"

"Yes well it is protocol to ask for permission to enter someone's domicile." Sheldon told Howard.

Before Sheldon and Howard could get into it, Penny spoke up. "Sheldon? Did you want something?"

"May I speak with you in private?" Sheldon asked her. When she nodded her agreement he turned to Howard, "Get out."

"You can't tell me what to do in other people's houses Sheldon." Howard told him.

"He's right." Penny piped up. Howard gave her a grin. "Howard, get out." She said, making sure to use a tone that wouldn't allow any argument. Smile quickly fading Howard left, mumbling about how it wasn't fair that Sheldon got the hot girl.

Penny closed the door behind him and examined Sheldon, "You wanted to talk. Talk."

Sheldon fidgeted for a moment before speaking. "I would like to apologize for my statement that triggered a negative emotional response in you. That was unintentional on my part."

It took a second for what he said to register. "Thank you." She said as sincerely as she could.

"Also I would like to formally congratulate you for earning your role. Your acting skills have obviously improved over the years, no doubt to the high quality programs that I have encouraged you to watch."

"Did you just take credit for me getting an acting job?" Penny couldn't believe it. "Keep in mind that the correct answer to that question is no."

He paused for about a minute before answering, "No." She had to hand it to him, he barely twitched.

"Ya know, you really need to stop talking a sentence earlier than you think you should." She informed him as she looped her arms around his neck. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "But I'm just gonna say thank you again."

"Your welcome" Sheldon asked rather than said. "I would still like to know who is going to be serving me my meal on Thursday."


	34. Chapter 34

This story is gonna be discontinued because I honestly can't figure out where to go from here.

It has been fun, and I really enjoyed all of your reviews and encouragement, but I just can't seem to get it together enough to finish it.

Hours upon hours just staring at the screen, trying to get the characters to do anything...and they won't. I'm not gonna lie, it sucks ass.

I think that it has just strayed too far from what I wanted it to be, although I am becoming more comfortable writing more intimate scenes so that is something.

I hate it when writers do this and I always sore that I wouldn't do that, but now I can see where they are coming from.

If anyone wants to continue this story, please feel free. All I ask is that you let me know in a pm or e-mail.

I do have two other stories running through my head but this time I think I should write them out before posting so that I don't do this again.

Thanks for understanding and as always, thanks for reading.

_Stl85_


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